Top 10 things I am swearing off as of Jan. 1st

If you time it right, Porn and Masturbating can be the last thing you swear off, and the first thing your relapse just based on normal recovery times. Win/Win!

 

So were you going to take up boys instead

 

If you could get your hands on a number 4, you would probably only need 3 and 6

 

be reasonable. just quit soda. its better than nothing.

 

youll give up masterbating when i give up masterbating. so never.

 

Beanies?

 

That will probably be the most productive two weeks of your life. Either that or all of the buildup from the lack of women, porn, and masturbation will cause you to stroke out after 5 days.

 

No women, porn or masturbation?!

You'd have to roll your swollen, blue nutz around in a Segway after a week.

And no alcohol to help you cope with that???!!!

 

It does make 7-10 make more sense

 

I know what a beanie is, even the ****** version that you have pictured, but why swear off Beanies?

 

ssshhhh, everyone knows Wolf had a bad experience with a Beanie....we dont like to discuss it.

Spoiler

Wolf, was gang-raped, over the course of 46 minutes, by a gaggle of Beanies about 2yrs ago

 

Seriously, dont even get him started on this fad......a PROFITABLE organization controlled and run by several of the FELONs that did it to him.....not enough evidence to convict, so they continue to walk free among us today, spinning there plastic rotors in a mocking fashion to this day.

sad...very sad...

 

A gaggle?

Is that the correct phrase for a group of Juvenile stuffed animals that go out of thier way to hunt down and gang-rape a down-trodden Miami Dolphins fan?

Just wondering as in case I ever get that question on an exam of any type I would certainly hate to get it wrong....

 

stoopid, not the stuffed animals (that's a herd)...the hats with the propellers are the gaggle, and they RAPED him, man, they RAPED him hard for 46 minutes!!!!!

 

Stuttering SAM.....!!! (Yes, I listened, it was classic)

 

i told you it wouldn't take that long.

 

how long until you're back on soda, girls, and beanies?