Things I learned recently...

"Hero13 wrote:

Cheese-like-loaf really is the best way to describe Velveeta.

Toll booth operators were people that were turned down for jobs at DMV for not being friendly enough.

You can in fact make Kraft Macaroni & Cheese in the microwave but it's a poor idea to do so.

Taco Bell, no matter what product, will be like a Japanese rocket train through your colon

Sometimes fish die when you clean the tank because they've grown used to the sludge.

Never trust a toddler to indicate "Where's daddy's eye?" without expecting a three stooges moment.

Home Depot & Walmart have an interchangeable staff of people who would rather be doing something else than helping you.

You know your standards have changed when you say "wow she's hot" and you are referencing the girl in the progressive insurance commercial.

If you find yourself stuck in an office for several hours with a person that's used to working alone expect to hear details that you can only try scrubbing from your brain with 151 proof rum.
Single ply toilet paper will make you regret the purchase. Toilet paper is one of those things that you really get what you pay for.

Referring to the color your wife picked out for the bathroom as "poop brown" will certainly end any hopes of lovin' for that evening.

If anyone asks for it the definition of music is the first 35 seconds of the song "Superstition" by Stevie Wonder.

If your ceiling is 7 feet taller than your ladder and you need to cut in the top of the wall make sure your insurance is current.

Never get in too much of a hurry while eating and bite your own finger. Twice.

Also never tell a person that you've bitten your own finger while eating because it will make them very hesitant to share any food that requires them reaching in front of you to pick up.

If a pan just comes out of the oven don't pick it up.

Skin sticks to hot metal.

Skin stuck to hot metal smells horrible.

Never try to shorten a piece of wood with a hammer.

You should never throw a cat in the air and then try to catch it.

:lol:

"calphin wrote:

:lol:

You've met some of them - you know what I mean :lol:

Good stuff. Had Taco Bell last night. Keep the TP in the freezer.

"opfinistic wrote:

Good stuff. Had Taco Bell last night. Keep the TP in the freezer.

Now that's a suggestion I've never heard. I may do that if for no other reason than to confuse my wife when she opens the door to cook dinner.

I wanted to post this but didn't want to make an actual thread. I need a junk catch all thread.

Great T-Shirt

"Hero13 wrote:

I wanted to post this but didn't want to make an actual thread. I need a junk catch all thread.

Great T-Shirt

that would a good one to pick up.

"Higgi wrote:

that would a good one to pick up.

I've been considering it as well.

this would be so much better if it was funny..........

hahah just kidding, i laughed

"SickFinFan33 wrote:

this would be so much better if it was funny..........

hahah just kidding, i laughed

Dirty pool :lol:

If you ingest a diet high in "crunchberries" be prepared for the after effects of eating that much food grade dye.

"Crappy Tipper wrote:

Cheese-like-loaf really is the best way to describe Velveeta.

Toll booth operators were people that were turned down for jobs at DMV for not being friendly enough.

You can in fact make Kraft Macaroni & Cheese in the microwave but it's a poor idea to do so.

Taco Bell, no matter what product, will be like a Japanese rocket train through your colon

Sometimes fish die when you clean the tank because they've grown used to the sludge.

Never trust a toddler to indicate "Where's daddy's eye?" without expecting a three stooges moment.

Home Depot & Walmart have an interchangeable staff of people who would rather be doing something else than helping you.

You know your standards have changed when you say "wow she's hot" and you are referencing the girl in the progressive insurance commercial.

If you find yourself stuck in an office for several hours with a person that's used to working alone expect to hear details that you can only try scrubbing from your brain with 151 proof rum.

Single ply toilet paper will make you regret the purchase. Toilet paper is one of those things that you really get what you pay for.

Referring to the color your wife picked out for the bathroom as "poop brown" will certainly end any hopes of lovin' for that evening.

If anyone asks for it the definition of music is the first 35 seconds of the song "Superstition" by Stevie Wonder.

If your ceiling is 7 feet taller than your ladder and you need to cut in the top of the wall make sure your insurance is current.

Never get in too much of a hurry while eating and bite your own finger. Twice.

Also never tell a person that you've bitten your own finger while eating because it will make them very hesitant to share any food that requires them reaching in front of you to pick up.

If a pan just comes out of the oven don't pick it up.

Skin sticks to hot metal.

Skin stuck to hot metal smells horrible.

Never try to shorten a piece of wood with a hammer.

You should never throw a cat in the air and then try to catch it.

Eerie. I know EXACTLY what you mean.

"DrAstroZoom wrote:

Eerie. I know EXACTLY what you mean.

It's a lot like ear hair one day you just wake up and it's there. Isn't really a period of recognizable change.

The strange allure of the Progressive insurance girl

"DrAstroZoom wrote:

The strange allure of the Progressive insurance girl

She's cute enough and I certainly see her appeal but it's the other girl in the commercial that I have the hots for.

This girl I think

Three way! :woot:

"DrAstroZoom wrote:

The strange allure of the Progressive insurance girl

Once you see her in the Glade Plugins Yoga commercial, you'll rethink your stance...

...at least I did.

http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=E4jScvBuGHI&feature=related

"opfinistic wrote:

Three way! :woot:

I see you're in the same boat that Dr.A-Z and I are in. Grab an oar.

"Colorado Dolfan wrote:

Once you see her in the Glade Plugins Yoga commercial, you'll rethink your stance...

...at least I did.

The redhead/sandy haired one or the brunette?

"Crappy Tipper wrote:

The redhead/sandy haired one or the brunette?

The brunette with the bluish tank-top... :no:

"Colorado Dolfan wrote:

The brunette with the bluish tank-top... :no:

I would ask for a link but I'm afraid it would just burst my bubble.

Plus, odds are I've already seen the commercial and just didn't recognize her.

Blissful ignorance is my stance.

"Crappy Tipper wrote:

I would ask for a link but I'm afraid it would just burst my bubble.

Plus, odds are I've already seen the commercial and just didn't recognize her.

Blissful ignorance is my stance.

Continue your blissful ignorance...

I, too, thought Flo was awful cute... Apparently she's high maintenance... :tantrum:

Colorado Dolfan = E-Cockblocker

"Colorado Dolfan wrote:

Continue your blissful ignorance...

I, too, thought Flo was awful cute... Apparently she's high maintenance... :tantrum:

Now that girl in the Geico commercial on the beach with the metal detector guy that looks like John C. Reilly is another story.

and i thought i was the only one who liked the progressive chick