Geetings, and welcome. We are here today to give tribute to a truly wonderful poster. Today, we pay homage to a man who is not only smart and funny, but tremendously rich and talented as well. Toni... Wait, nevermind we are roasting Enforcerfin33. So why did we choose Enforcerfin33 for the first roast? Thats an excellent question. I mean, typically you try to roast people that, deep down, you actually LIKE. Nobody likes Enforcer. Not even his own parents. Little known fact, Enforcer is not his real first name. Its actually shortened form Unforced Error, which is what his parents commited when they forgot to bag it up. But beyond the overall sucktitude that is "Big E," how are the roasters supposed to make fun of this man? I mean, what kind of possible material can we get from a 30 something year old, overweight Cubs fan who spends his free time watching pro wrestling and talking to complete strangers on a Dolphins message board where he refuses to talk about the Dolphins. How can anyone possibly find a joke about a guy who drinks extensively, knocks up multiple women and lives in Indiana, yet sports mad love for Iowa...? Needless to say, the task at hand is going to be tough, especially when you consider who is actually ON this dais. Let us meet this merry-go-round of losers shall we? Unluckyluciano is here today. Its a good thing too. I think we all can agree that we need our lawns mowed, our bushes trimmed and dishes washed. And don't skimp on the edging you lazy buttwipe. I've got INS's number and I am not afraid to use it... --------------------------------------------------------- GridIronking34 a.k.a. Griddles is here as well. Truth be told, Griddles was going to be the first roast victim...until we realized his whole life has been one big giant roast. Seriously man, do us all a favor and go drown in a toilet would ya? And what's with this Iowa love-fest thing going on? I didn't want to bring it up, but when we were in New Jersey, what were all those sounds coming from your bathroom and why was the picture of Kirk Ferentz all sticky? I think we may need to change your nickname from Griddles to, "El Creepo." ---------------------------------------------------------- Speaking of creeps, Hardkorexxx will be by shortly. He is running a little late because he is still trying to figure out how to spell his own name correctly. Florida school system at its best right there. Honestly, his grammar is so bad that Mike Tyson blushes. Do us all a favor and "fade off to Bolivia." Hardkore is the only guy I know that cries because his girlfriend is TOO hot and likes to "drink beer." Oh the horror. Flippin' baby. Wah my girlfriend is way too hot, waaaaaaah. ----------------------------------------------------------- Speaking of girls, the lovely lady joing us on the roast festivities is none other than In_Flames. Wha? What do you mean In_flames is a guy? Seriously? Huh, but the long flowing locks and spandex stirrup pants...you sure? But he/she listens to Dokken and Winger?!?!?! Its a scientific FACT that only girls do that... ----------------------------------------------------------- Well forget that girly man then. He is off the dais. ****. Now I need another girl or else all my whore jokes won't work... Finsgirlie! The lady also known as Amandumb, amanDUH and stupid girl who keeps annoying us in the JTT thread. I know what you're thinking. I thought you are supposed to have FUNNY people on a roast right? Right. But I've got two words for ya: Title IX. ----------------------------------------------------------- And last and CERTAINLY least, we have our first roaster of the evening. None other than the oldest 21 year old this side of Greg Oden. A man who still wears Hulk Hogan bandanas and dreams about cupping Dan LeBatard's balls. "Mr. 3 inches IS big" himself...Sickfinfan33!
Ahem, apparently, much like his wedding night, sickfinfan33 is not ready to perform. So we are going to go ahead and switch it up and get the unfunny stuff out of the way first. Give it up for Hardkorexxx!
like you know what funny is finsgirlie..... oh and yeah I performed.....3 inches or not....i gotta kid so atleast ladies you know it works.... ot: I might get banned for my material.....so if I don't see ya'll after tomorrow.....i love you all... except felix
agreed. i'm ready too griddles. wow, enforcer brings people together! first time i've ever agreed with you on anything!
hey a-hole....i never got instructions....all I got was "sometime mid-week" I got my material done saved it to my work computer....and now I'm home with only my palm to use....so no roast from me till tomorrow..... don't worry....it'll be worth it
Thanks Samphin. Give it up for Samphin everyone, ThePhins resident Native American and all around funny guy. Thanks for dressin up tonight Tonto, that head dress is a nice look on you. When I first met Sam he was a young, scared drunken Indian. And today Im proud to say hes a fat, older alcholic Indian. But, hes also French... guess that explains why that head dress has a white flag attached to it and he has sun burned arm pits.. But enough about the part of America we'd like to forget. I wanna touch on the America we're TRYING to forget... Lucky. Lucky's in the house tonight... oh Luck I see you're wearing your cut off Levis and flannel shirt... you just get done mowin the yard? No, no it looks good... I think those high-heels are bit much but this is a FORMAL occasion so I guess its ok. What are you smiling at Finsgirlie? Did Mor just take a **** or something? If Mandy was any further up Mor's *** she'd be sifting through Watermelon seeds right now.... whats that Sam?... the Mor isnt that kind of black you say?...my bad Mor.. I woudve brandished a completely different racially insensitive joke at your expense according to your actual ethnicity had I known bro, pleave forgive me. And now to why we're here, and why I really dont wann be here... Enforcerfin33. What is there to say about him that has already been said? Aside from having the most homo-erotic sig in this sites history, what else motivates this man to give such inspired posts on this site? Well, we know hes from a humble beginnings here in Pompano Beach. As a young man, E's parents didnt have much, but that didnt stop him from eating them out of trailer and home. Yes a healthy appetite on that one. But not just for trans-fats, oh no. The man they call Eric also has a healhty sexual appetite. Proof are his 9 kids by 11 different women... thats right, Enforcer has his very own "Rainbow Coalition", and Im not talking about Sam, In Flames and Sick. I came to know Enforcer on this site and must say he is a total Douche Bag. I cant think of a poster who annoys me more on a daily basis with his constant whining about his job and problems with women (mainly because In_Flames has no real job and Lucky isnt into women) So in summation, I hate you Enforcer, and everything you stand for. I wish you would do us all a favor and walk your fat *** into traffic.... not in Indiana traffic though, although getting trampled by a horse and buggy would be pretty cool to watch Seriously E, you're a cool guy and everyone here is lucky to have you as a fake internet friend. Kudos to you and your fake accomplishments. I love you pal.
Why did you capitalize watermelon? it's true though. I do love the Mor. I think I ruined my chances by sending locks of my hair as a house-warming gift though.
Its come to my attention that a certain poster was neglected in my Roast... Griddles. I dont want you to think I forgot about you buddy (truth be told I did but can you blame me, its Griddles) Griddles was a mod until recently when some risque photos of him and particular species of swine surfaced on the internet. After using the "Iowa" defense, Celtkin and Muck figured this type of bull**** had gone on long enough and fired his sorry ***. Now disgraced, Griddles rarely posts. And that is the story of a virgin pig ****er from Iowa named Griddles. Goodnight.
he was SO unfunny, the guest of honor AND the host both logged offline. way to go talentless bastard....
this comin from the guy who came up with this idea yet didn't make it come to fruitition.......... yeah make sam pick up the pieces for you lucky.....then just douche through it trying to sabatage it..... I hate your ways you rotten bastard :middle finger:
Dude, that's how he lost half his family... and a **** ton of drugs... Why you always bringing back painful memories?
Seriously. He likes to be the dude in the back of the class makin fun of everyones presentation, then when its his turn he does some stupid report on Unicorns or some ****... I hate that guy
well i can only speak for myself but yes I am a "real catch". thank you you see the key word to me in that sentence is "all" and you're right. not all of us are.
Would somebody shove this guy off a tall building already? His Wilson from Home Improvement style avy is creepin me out big time...
