The Rules of Food:

Rule #56. if you cook baby back ribs..and they fall completely OFF THE BONE...then you overcooked them you dumb ****. Proper ribs are tender, but leave a little on the bone when you pull the meat off with your teeth. If you have to do a once over to completely clean the bone..then they are properly cooked.

Rule #56 looks similar to my rule # ... oh wait I didn't number it. ok you win. but see post #68 :D

"jdang307 wrote:

Rule #55. Don't order filet mignon unless you have a vagina and I mean have one, NOT ON THE SIDE!

Oh no, no, no, no. You couldn't be more wrong. Its all in how you order it. If we assume that you had a meal of a good t-bone or sirloin or hell, even a strip, then it is perfectly acceptable to have a filet after.

Remember, it this way, filet mignon is the dessert steak.

"maynard wrote:

i ran out of mayo at my house last night, but really wanted some with my sandwich, so i made my own mayo

whats the ruling on that?

Only real men overcome and adopt!:hi5:

"jdang307 wrote:

Rule #55. Don't order filet mignon unless you have a vagina and I mean have one, NOT ON THE SIDE!

:lol::lol::lol:Oh yea, just wait til you're old as the hills and have no teeth, sonny!:tongue2:

"Section126 wrote:

Rule #56. if you cook baby back ribs..and they fall completely OFF THE BONE...then you overcooked them you dumb ****. Proper ribs are tender, but leave a little on the bone when you pull the meat off with your teeth. If you have to do a once over to completely clean the bone..then they are properly cooked.

If the ribs came from a hog you've killed and you don't cook them to fall from the bone then you're asking for trouble! You can throw Bear meat into that statement too! I'll tell you a little secret though they both are some fine eating!

"Pauly wrote:

You cannot make mayo with just egg whites, it's a sabayon based sauce and needs egg yolks. I suppose you could make something with egg whites and oil, but it aint gonna be mayonnaise.

Here's a light whole egg mayo we use at work.

- 4 whole eggs
- similar volume of white balsamic vinegar (NB amount of vinegar required depends on size of eggs)
- 8-10 cloves of confit or roasted garlic (do not use raw garlic)
Blitz in a blender or food processor
- 2 pints good food quality oil.
Slowly drizzle in whilst the machine is going, stop when you reach desired consistency.
If the mayo is too thick thin it with some hot water.
- Season with salt and pepper.

To make a richer version use 8 egg yolks instead of 4 whole eggs.

sounds great. i made a much smaller batch

i used 2 yolks

a couple of tablespoons of lemon juice and one tablespoon apple cider vinegar

about a cup of oil, which i dribbled in as i whisked

some salt, pepper, garlic powder, paprika and cayenne powder

tastes outstanding, but not quite as thick as i want, though i guess it will never be the consistency of the stuff out of a jar. should i have used the whites too or more oil?

im sure i just violated the "recipe swapping" rule :pointlol:

"gafinfan wrote:

:lol::lol::lol:Oh yea, just wait til you're old as the hills and have no teeth, sonny!:tongue2:

A ribeye is just as tender, has more flavor, and is a real man's steak! Steaks are my specialty. And when I say specialty I don't mean I get a steak put a store bought rub on it and grill it.

I've spent way too many hours researching and testing and refining my steak the past oh ... 6 years or so. and I'm still testing and still refining. I've studied the science behind certain techniques, dos and don'ts. Even dry aged two USDA prime rib roasts (prime rib0, in my mom's cooler at her 7 Eleven and then cut them into ribeyes and had a big steak feast. I could have went longer but I was pressed for time.

How's this for marbling of the steak???

Sorry for derailing the thread but gafinfan, go ahead, order the ribeye. It's just as tender as filet mignon, probably cheaper and better in every way, except fat content, which filet is leaner. that's a good or bad thing depending on how you look at it.. Trust me. And it'll taste way better. There's a reason they wrap filet mignon in bacon sometimes, there's no flavor!!!!!!

Ok, rule #57. Learn to cook a damn steak properly.

"maynard wrote:

sounds great. i made a much smaller batch

i used 2 yolks

a couple of tablespoons of lemon juice and one tablespoon apple cider vinegar

about a cup of oil, which i dribbled in as i whisked

some salt, pepper, garlic powder, paprika and cayenne powder

tastes outstanding, but not quite as thick as i want, though i guess it will never be the consistency of the stuff out of a jar. should i have used the whites too or more oil?

im sure i just violated the "recipe swapping" rule :pointlol:

No violation on the recipe swapping rule, we're having a manly discussion about the appropriate tools for the job.

Use a blender or a food processor rather than a whisk. Unless you're a world champion masturbator it's faster and you'll get it to thicken up no problems.

Whole eggs give a lighter taste, and tends to pour easier.

Rule 57: Thou shalt only use cast iron or blue steel pans, skillets and dutch ovens.
Rule 58: Thou shalt only use copper pans, although a stainless steel stockpot is acceptable if you are making serious amounts of stock or pasta.
Rule 59: Teflon is thine enemy.
Rule 60: Carbon steel knives are the bomb.

"jdang307 wrote:

A ribeye is just as tender, has more flavor, and is a real man's steak! Steaks are my specialty. And when I say specialty I don't mean I get a steak put a store bought rub on it and grill it.

I've spent way too many hours researching and testing and refining my steak the past oh ... 6 years or so. and I'm still testing and still refining. I've studied the science behind certain techniques, dos and don'ts. Even dry aged two USDA prime rib roasts (prime rib0, in my mom's cooler at her 7 Eleven and then cut them into ribeyes and had a big steak feast. I could have went longer but I was pressed for time.

How's this for marbling of the steak???

Sorry for derailing the thread but gafinfan, go ahead, order the ribeye. It's just as tender as filet mignon, probably cheaper and better in every way, except fat content, which filet is leaner. that's a good or bad thing depending on how you look at it.. Trust me. And it'll taste way better. There's a reason they wrap filet mignon in bacon sometimes, there's no flavor!!!!!!

Ok, rule #57. Learn to cook a damn steak properly.

Damn, thats some kind of beautiful, a tip o the brim sir!!! My Dad, God rest his soul, would have taken you under his wing for the way you've handled that cut. Everything I know I learned from him starting by sitting on a bar stool at age 4 or so watching him butcher a half a side, the man was a genusat what he did!

Your right but they are also the ones coming from old milk cows! NEVER buy a bacon wrapped Filet!!!!!!

Your dad sounds like he was a man's man! I am not on a butcher half a side level yet. At all. Everything I learned was on TV and internet :) Would have been cool to have watched and learned something like that from pops.

My next venture is a whole weaner/suckling pig on the rotiss. One day I'll attempt to butcher a side of cow.

"jdang307 wrote:

Your dad sounds like he was a man's man! I am not on a butcher half a side level yet. At all. Everything I learned was on TV and internet :) Would have been cool to have watched and learned something like that from pops.

My next venture is a whole weaner/suckling pig on the rotiss. One day I'll attempt to butcher a side of cow.

"jdang307 wrote:

Your dad sounds like he was a man's man! I am not on a butcher half a side level yet. At all. Everything I learned was on TV and internet :) Would have been cool to have watched and learned something like that from pops.

My next venture is a whole weaner/suckling pig on the rotiss. One day I'll attempt to butcher a side of cow.

Follow the seams and its hard to go wrong.

"Bumrush wrote:

24) Frozen Pina Coladas are for sissies.

Eh, gotta amend this one.

Pina Coladas are for sissies, unless you're in Islamorada and you have a 151 floater.

"jupiterfin wrote:

Eh, gotta amend this one.

Pina Coladas are for sissies, unless you're in Islamorada and you have a 151 floater.

If you're in Islamorada, you should be fishing........ not drinking sissy drinks

"jupiterfin wrote:

Eh, gotta amend this one.

Pina Coladas are for sissies, unless you're in Islamorada and you have a 151 floater.

Dude. That is what my wife drinks.

"jetssuck wrote:

If you're in Islamorada, you should be fishing........ not drinking sissy drinks

After fishing. While fishing, only beer is acceptable.

"Section126 wrote:

Dude. That is what my wife drinks.

Hey, I hear ya, and I agree with you guys...If I'm anywhere and I see a guy drinking any frozen drink, I automatically assume he has a poodle for a pet. However, there's something about Holiday Isle that makes it appropriate and acceptable to drink a Pina Colada with a 151 floater. Not 2 or 3, but 1 Pina Colada.

"jupiterfin wrote:

After fishing. While fishing, only beer is acceptable.

Hey, I hear ya, and I agree with you guys...If I'm anywhere and I see a guy drinking any frozen drink, I automatically assume he has a poodle for a pet. However, there's something about Holiday Isle that makes it appropriate and acceptable to drink a Pina Colada with a 151 floater. Not 2 or 3, but 1 Pina Colada.

At Holiday Isle ...it is very appropriate to drink a Rum Runner. (Their specialty)

I prefer a dark n stormy myself when fishing (which isn't often enough these days).

"Stringer Bell wrote:

I prefer a dark n stormy myself when fishing (which isn't often enough these days).

very nice.

This is the most hysterical thread i've read in weeks.... Can chicks add to the food rules?

If so i have 2

1) Baking for a woman is NOT UNMANLY and may lead to sexual relations!

2) Meatballs must always be homemade as well as the sauce they steep in!

I make a mean Blueberry muffin. :wink2:

"Section126 wrote:

At Holiday Isle ...it is very appropriate to drink a Rum Runner. (Their specialty)

The only frozen drink that's remotely manly....... and fun because it's like getting trashed on a slurpee

"Stringer Bell wrote:

I prefer a dark n stormy myself when fishing (which isn't often enough these days).

Me neither... :cry: