The Rules of Food:

"Bumrush wrote:

32) Boiling water and opening a jar of tomato sauce doesn't make you a chef.

no but it does keep lucky alive and well......:hi5:

"lmeister3 wrote:

34) When the biggest dude in the room ask for your cornbread you should never give it to him. If he wants some cornbread, let him go up to the front and get his own portion of cornbread, that's your cornbread, **** him. If you let have your cornbread, you're gonna be ironin' his drawers and clippin' his toenails.

Just how long have you associated cornbread with prison rape?

"unluckyluciano wrote:

Just how long have you associated cornbread with prison rape?

On a side note:

You can't have my cornbread. That's for damn sure. You try and take my cornbread, Killing Spree, Part 2 gon' begin up in here on your ass. You thinking about my cornbread, better get the taste out your mouth. That's for damn sure.

**** that, 'cause I'm from New York City, goddammit. Nobody take no cornbread from me. That goes for anyone of you mother****ing farmers who wanna start some ****. You **** around with me, there's gonna be consequences and repercussions.

"lmeister3 wrote:

On a side note:

You can't have my cornbread. That's for damn sure. You try and take my cornbread, Killing Spree, Part 2 gon' begin up in here on your ass. You thinking about my cornbread, better get the taste out your mouth. That's for damn sure.

**** that, 'cause I'm from New York City, goddammit. Nobody take no cornbread from me. That goes for anyone of you mother****ing farmers who wanna start some ****. You **** around with me, there's gonna be consequences and repercussions.

Can I have some cornbread?

"lmeister3 wrote:

34) When the biggest dude in the room asks for your cornbread you should never give it to him. If he wants some cornbread, let him go up to the front and get his own portion of cornbread, that's your cornbread, **** him. If you let have your cornbread, you're gonna be ironin' his drawers and clippin' his toenails.

"unluckyluciano wrote:

Just how long have you associated cornbread with prison rape?

When he became my roommate a few years ago.

mi cornbread es su cornbread

Cornbread or cornholed, in prison you get a choice.

"Sethdaddy8 wrote:

16. If you order a coffee at Starbucks...screw them and their snarky, trendy, size names. Order the gods damned Medium and call it a Medium. And yeah, as some else eluded to...don't order the fancy pants crap. Be a man and order a regular ass coffee.

Paul Rudd, is that you?

35) Salad is not a meal, and if you do get a side salad with your steak or other manly meat, only ceasar salad is allowed
36) Meat to non-meat ration during any non-breakfast meal must always be over 1.5:1
37) Ribs must be eaten off the bone using your hands, any utensil use is punishable by a smack across the face

"arsenal wrote:

35) Salad is not a meal, and if you do get a side salad with your steak or other manly meat, only ceasar salad is allowed
36) Meat to non-meat ration during any non-breakfast meal must always be over 1.5:1
37) Ribs must be eaten off the bone using your hands, any utensil use is punishable by a smack across the face

38) The 5 second rule does not apply when eating a burrito at the beach. Ever.

"opfinistic wrote:

38) The 5 second rule does not apply when eating a burrito at the beach. Ever.

does the 5 second rule ever really apply??? speaking of burritos...

38A) Burritos must be picked up and eaten with hands regardless of how absurdly large said burrito is. Items that fall out of the burrito can be eaten with a utensil only after the rest of the burrito is finished.

39. When making a sandwich for anyone other than yourself, do NOT assume that Miracle Whip is a good substitute for mayonnaise.

40) **** Miracle Whip

"lmeister3 wrote:

40) **** Miracle Whip

They have, by far, the most annoying commercials I've ever seen. Apparently they think the way to sell Fauxnaisse, is to make it a symbol of a young people's revolution. Soooooooooooooooooo effing stupid.

41) If you don't wake up the next morning and fart for like 45 seconds while taking the morning piss, you didn't really eat much of a meal the night before.

"hoss wrote:

41) If you don't wake up the next morning and fart for like 45 seconds while taking the morning piss, you didn't really eat much of a meal the night before.

41.5) depends on how moist the fart is

42.) It's called grilling if you do it with gas or under 5 hours. Real men BBQ for 5-6 hours minimum with wood and/or Charcoal.

"gunn34 wrote:

42.) It's called grilling if you do it with gas or under 5 hours. Real men BBQ for 5-6 hours minimum with wood and/or Charcoal.

and beer
as a beverage and a seasoning

43) remember the law of beers:

man says he drinks 6 he probably had about 9.

if he bought a case he probably means two.

if he's talking right he hasn't started

and if he's standing he isn't done

My one and only food rule:

Don't let anyone tell you what or how to eat your food! Just enjoy it! I don't a guy from Philly to tell me that his cheese steak is better. I don't need a guy from Memphis to tell me what good bbq is.

44.) Milk and Cookies is NOT just for 7 year olds.....get u a spoon and eat that sh-t up!

45) Don't slurp your soup

"lmeister3 wrote:

45) Don't slurp your soup

This is untrue in Japan. You're expected to slurp.

46) Rules of food are subjective to culture changes

"Fin-Omenal wrote:

44.) Milk and Cookies is NOT just for 7 year olds.....get u a spoon and eat that sh-t up!

What? A spoon to eat milk and cookies? You don't dip the cookie into the milk and then eat it?

"alen1 wrote:

What? A spoon to eat milk and cookies? You don't dip the cookie into the milk and then eat it?

I get like 10 Oreo's stuff them in a cup and pour milk into it...its quite the fattening feast.