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The Official "What I Learned in Jersey" Thread

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by FINintheMOON, Apr 26, 2009.

  1. FINintheMOON

    FINintheMOON Moderator Luxury Box

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    Well I rolled into the house about an hour ago. I took one look at my yard and thought to myself that I REALLY need to put the new cable on the mower and mow the freakin jungle developing out there. After a moment or two pondering the idea, I decided to sit down and write out some of the things that I learned while in Jersey this year instead. Need to unwind from the trip back anyway…

    1. Jersey drivers still SUCK! :tantrum:
    2. Manda is a REAL sweetie! :thumbup:
    3. Hangovers hurt more than they used to… aarrrggghhhhhh…
    4. Sam really doesn’t have much common sense while drinking
    5. No hearing aids are needed in Miami Mike’s
    6. Fin-Omenal doesn’t talk much
    7. Sam really doesn’t have much common sense while drinking
    8. Having 50+ Jewish teenage girls on the same floor as you in the hotel actually sucks!
    9. White sauce can actually be snorted (Video later)
    10. Oh, did I mention that Sam really doesn’t have much common sense while drinking?:pity:
    11. There are actually some FINE women in Jersey!
    12. phinsfan1221 really hates the Patsies!
    13. I can never go to Miami Mike’s with out stopping at the Newark airport at least twice per trip.
    14. Hotel room windows are made for jumping from…
    15. You can actually wear just pasties and body paint in public (Video later)

    Well that is about it for now. I will let the video do the talking later. I have about 3 hours of it and will try to get it loaded tonight! :up:

    Man what a great time!!!
     
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  2. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    agree with #1 and #2 whole heartily
     
    finsgirlie likes this.
  3. FinSane

    FinSane Cynical Dolphins Fan

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    sounds like The Phins Real World: New Jersey
     
  4. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    17. Don't go to Camden, NJ. Just don't.
     
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  5. njfinfan

    njfinfan The First Lady

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    I agree completely with you Ken. You guys are all sweetie's but Amanda was a real, real doll. Loved her.
     
    Big E likes this.
  6. Boik14

    Boik14 Admin Club Member Retired Administrator

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    true story. And if you need to go for some silly reason (concerts at arena there, etc) drive with the windows closed unless youre prepared to be offered drugs while you drive through there. :no:
     
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  7. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    my brother was hospitalized up there at one point. there were gunshot victims ALL OVER THE PLACE

    :pity:

    The "Great" State Of New Jersey.

    We don't take that crap here. :lol:
     
  8. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει

    Uhm I don't know if some of these videos should be posted Ken. At least not until I can check the statute of limitations.

    I will make sure to add my thoughts and learnings later...
     
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  9. Phinperor

    Phinperor formerly In_Flames Luxury Box

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    20 Things I Learned in Jersey:

    1. Sam is the TRUE ladies man...Pics will provide the needed proof.
    2. Check on Ken (FITM) the next day after he gets blasted the night before.
    3. Chris (Sick) is my brother from another mother and I love him.
    4. Sam's farts smell like burnt hickory.
    5. Fasano is awesome...and sweaty.
    6. Painted clothes on a hot partially naked girl is awesome.
    7. Kosher parties both intrigue and scare me.
    8. Eric (enforcer) loves to show off the goods, especially to Sick.
    9. Ask Sick about his very first date with Rosie Palm.
    10. Apparently some Jewish people really like to smoke skunk weed in hotel rooms.
    11. Elderly foreign ladies give both me and Sick nightmares...especially when drunk.
    12. Swine flu is nothing to laugh at Sick!
    13. Mary is as sweet in person as she is on the boards.
    14. Mike (Fino) and Sam tend to lock themselves out of their room, and get chased by 14 year old Jewish girls covered in shaving cream.
    15. "WHY ARE THEY TAKING THE WHOLE 10 MINS TO MAKE A PICK?!?!"
    16. Manda may act innocent, but she does have violent tendencies.
    17. There is not only an Allentown in Pennsylvania, but in New Jersey as well. Who Knew...well, besides myself and Sick.
    18. Eric likes cream cheese on his morning bagel, NOT BUTTER!!!
    19. If you ever ask yourself "Hey, what's that smell?"...It's likely New Jersey.
    20. If lost, and you end up in Trenton, New Jersey...do not make eye contact with the locals.

    Had an awesome time guys, haven't laughed so hard in my entire life, look forward to meeting up again!
     
  10. njfinfan

    njfinfan The First Lady

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    Thanks Jason - you guys are all awesome too. I love you guys. Waiting for Renee to send me the pics from her camera. As soon as she does, they'll be here.
     
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  11. finsgirlie

    finsgirlie break my Luxury Box

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    hahaha nice lists guys...and i do nottttt jason!!!

    i gotta think about mine you guys took all the good ones....
     
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  12. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    cream cheese on a bagel is win. if you were from the good areas you'd know this already.

    also

    16. Manda may act innocent, but she does have violent tendencies.

    - want to know.
     
  13. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει

    I might as well throw some fuel onto the fire. He it goes, in no particular order:

    1. Hotel rooms at the Ramada in East Hanover, New Jersey cost $600.00 a night

    2. Mike's (FinOmenal) new name is Steve

    3. MikeSteve feels that the ivy at Wrigley field should be cut down. (fire away Cubs fans).

    4. If you are going to jump out of a hotel window, make sure that you know the exact distance to your landing. Otherwise you may end up sitting on a cracked tailbone on a cross country flight home. :pity:

    5. The following people do not respond to drunken dials: HardkoreXXX, FinSane, Mindwarp, The Front Desk of the Hotel.

    6. The following people DO respond to drunken dials: Hardkorexxx (the next day), Unluckyluciano, ASUFinFan, Skeet84.

    7. Ken (FINintheMOON) is part bear and hibernates all winter.

    8. Jersey girls named Angie HATE me. (but secretly love me)

    9. It is impossible to buy alcohol at a liquor store on a saturday night in Jersey. :pity:

    10. Drunkenly headbutting street signs is kind of fun, actually.

    11. Jewish girls can outparty a bunch of rabid football fans.

    12. Jennifer looked good in the Rangers jersey, but she was GORGEOUS in the Marino jersey. :hump:

    13. Jennifer and I are now text buddies. :shifty:

    14. As is Diana. :hi5:

    15. If a hot girl is standing alone outside of a bar and she tells you her name is Maureen, it probably isn't a good idea to follow it up with, "Oh, kind of like Moron!" :pity:

    16. You can win said girl back however, with witty bantor about how much of an idiot you are.

    17. When heaping praise on former NFL running back Rodney Hampton, make sure it is Rodney Hampton.

    18. NEVER EVER bring a blacklight to Sick's house...EVER.

    19. Bills fans, even when nice, still suck.

    20. It is okay to root for the Giants if surrounded by a bunch of hot Giants fans.

    21. It probably isn't the best idea to hit on Miami Mike's girlfriend...and then proceed to tell him about it. :pity:

    22. Snorting cigarettes and pasta sauce is never adviseable.

    23. Listening to Sick rant and rave about his numerous sexual exploits, is, however.

    24. People from Ohio have texan sounding accents.

    25. OhioPhinPhan should have an aqua and coral priest outfit.

    26. In order to go left in New Jersey, you must first go right.

    27. Enforcerfin33 has no problem flashing his "boys" off on occasion.

    28. Mandy is a brave woman for putting up with all of our shenanigans this weekend.

    29. Mary kicks even more arse than I remember.

    30. Trying to do a radio show while surrounded by hot girls, loud obtrusive music and beer is very difficult. I commend Chris and Eric for trying. :hi5:

    Bonus lesson: In_Flames and I are nothing short of poonhounds who could probably never talk about football and still be good friends. :lol:
     
  14. finsgirlie

    finsgirlie break my Luxury Box

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    1. There's no such thing as a left turn in Jersey
    2. You can't buy beer from a gas station or grocery store, and the liquor stores close at like 6pm :pity:
    3. Sam's glasses have a super human woman attraction
    4. Fin-O's real name is MikeSteve....one word. Yup.
    5. The guys HATE my ringtone :P
    6. Something definitely died in Sam's intestinal track and has been lodged there for several years, the smells that come out of that boy are disgusting!
    7. Sick has an alter-ego named skanksky
    8. Never hope there's a porn convention going on at your hotel or you'll end up with 80 thousand orthodox jews instead
    9. Not only can you snort white sauce, you can also snort cigarettes
    10. Apparently everyone adores analgap
    11. I know wayyyyyy more about Sam and Sicks "alone time" than I ever wanted to
    12. FITM can out-sleep ANYONE
    13. Jason and Fin-O need to take some drinking lessons....diet coke is NOT a drink :pity:
    14. I apparently sound like Griddles on the phone


    meh....that's good for now.
     
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  15. Phinperor

    Phinperor formerly In_Flames Luxury Box

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    I had rum in mine...all 6 of them, btw thanks for the shot as well Whitesnake! :wink2:
     
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  16. finsgirlie

    finsgirlie break my Luxury Box

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    lies....i totally can out-drink you!
     
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  17. Fin Fan In Cali

    Fin Fan In Cali Dolphin fan since 1970 Luxury Box

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    Maybe next year I can make a road trip.:up: The hotel will need to have a pool.
     
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  18. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει

    lol @ skanksy.

    And I will have you know that the government pays good money to keep my intestinal tract just how it is. How do you think they came up with the term "shock and awe?"
     
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  19. finsgirlie

    finsgirlie break my Luxury Box

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    whitesnake.....LMAO.
     
  20. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    Okay I wasn't there but I live close enough and have gone to Jersey enough to make a general "what I have learned":

    1. The football teams in New York (minus the Bills) need to be renamed "New Jersey Giants" and "New Jersey Jets" because that is where they are located.

    2. Don't take the turnpike.

    3. In fact, don't drive in Jersey if you can help it.

    4. Tax is ridiculous. No state should have it (Delaware FTW)

    5. The shore (note: not beach) is better than the state itself. 5 Miles of boardwalk is insane. Wildwood, NJ. Look it up.

    6. Camden, NJ. As I stated earlier = don't go. Unless you want drugs or to be shot.

    7. Luckily Jersey is close enough to more awesome states such as Pennsylvania and Delaware. See also: New York City in a pinch.

    8. Liquor stores close all around here and you can't buy liquor (or beer) in a gas station or a grocery store. They must be bought at (get this) the liquor store! If you're a constant boozehound (see: Borderland Sam) get it while it's open. Otherwise you're ****ed. Also, Sam, you sound like my lost drinking twin.

    9. We like things simple around here. The liquor store is "liquore store". The cleaners is "Cleaners". The restaurants are labeled "Eat". I can take pictures easily enough if you want proof. This is true.

    10. If you're in Jersey you must get a pizza.

    11. Get out while you still can.
     
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  21. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει

    Everyone here is lieing about my drinking. I barely drank.

    In fact, it only takes one drink to get me drunk. (Problem is, I can't remember if its the 13th or 14th one...


    edit: Another lesson. The diner food in New Jersey sucks.

    Also, did you guys know that Lucky is from California? :shifty:
     
  22. finsgirlie

    finsgirlie break my Luxury Box

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    :lol:

    oh oh!

    15. Sam drinks Blue Moon by the pitcher...no glass necessary. NO ORANGE!
     
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  23. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    who the hell puts an orange in their blue moon? :confused2: who needs a glass when you've got a pitcher??

    take it like a man!

    i'd use a glass... just not an orange.
     
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  24. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει


    Okay so I had one drink...



    Another lesson: Jennifer is the bestest bar gal ever. She knows how I like it.
     
  25. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει


    Hence why I adore you.

    MikeSteve, you taking lessons? NO FRUIT IN THE BEER!
     
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  26. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    If you want a fruit beer get a damn lambic. It is made with fruit.

    If you want beer get a damn beer. I just drank Guinness Extra Stout straight out of the pint over the weekend :D
     
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  27. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει

    This is correct. The man bylaws say that you can have fruit in your beer provided that it is added PRIOR to its finali bottling stage. Anything you have to add post bottle/draft, isn't worth drinking, or you're doing it wrong.
     
  28. Fin Fan In Cali

    Fin Fan In Cali Dolphin fan since 1970 Luxury Box

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    This is why you buy a cheap cooler, and fill it up in your room.:yes:
     
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  29. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει

    If only they sold ALCOHOL in Jersey...:angry:
     
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  30. Fin Fan In Cali

    Fin Fan In Cali Dolphin fan since 1970 Luxury Box

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    Brother, the Marine Corps was founded in a Tun Tavern. You adapt and over come. You must have your priorities and a game plan. Maybe next year I can make it, and have a stop over in Texas, and pick up Brother Kenny.:lol:
     
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  31. azfinfanmang

    azfinfanmang Premium Member Luxury Box

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    I think Texas is on the way :up:

    Not sure another swimming pool episode would be wise....especially in Jersey in the Spring


    The cooler part is TRUTH. brother John finished the contents of his then promptly left at Cardinals stadium
    Pretty sure it is still there with a shrine erected around it
     
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  32. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει

    I think a lot of us are looking at crashing the San Diego game. Perhaps I could show off my patented window leap of faith move (assuming my *** is recovered by then).

    Or perhaps I will show the the power of the glasses and their hypnotising effect on women.

    Or better yet we will sit around, drinking beer and laughing at sickfinfan's masturbation stories...:lol:
     
  33. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει

    Something else to add to the list of lessons learned.

    Apparently every girl knows what I do for a living without ever telling them...
     
  34. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    Professional Whore?

    Just a hunch.
     
  35. Phinperor

    Phinperor formerly In_Flames Luxury Box

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    a sensitive lover?
     
  36. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει

    It is actually a combo of these two.

    A sensitive whore. No, apparently they tagged me as being in sales from the word go.

    Jason you remember that one girl's name? The one with the ginormous boobs that you took a picture with? I can't think of it to save my life. Charlene? Charone? Charlana?
     
  37. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    freelance protcologist?
     
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  38. Rocky Raccoon

    Rocky Raccoon Greasepaint Ghost Staff Member

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    Looks like I'm going to have to jump in here and defend my state.

    First of all, MANY supermarkets around here do sell alcohol, and those are the places we hit up when the liquor store closes. All the ones I've ever seen close at 10:00.

    I've never really seen driving as a problem here. Maybe it would be different if I drove in other states, but from other states I HAVE drove in, it isn't much different.

    Jersey has a lot of beautiful places, like anal gap said, Wildwood is gorgeous, and many of the other beach towns are as well. Why don't you guys take a trip there one weekend this summer, then you'll really see the awesomeness of Jersey (minus the guidos, of course).

    You're all a bunch of whiners.


    Looks like you all had a blast though, sorry I couldn't make it. All though it's probably I good thing I didn't because I'm not a huge drinker and apparently you people look down on that. Alcoholics :shifty:.
     
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  39. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    male ****ing gigolo?
     
  40. Fin Fan In Cali

    Fin Fan In Cali Dolphin fan since 1970 Luxury Box

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    The more the better at the San Diego game.:yes:
     

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