The Christian Thread

You always have my prayers "dad". Hope all goes well for you.
Luv,
DD

GB Mark.
You have our prayers and our support.

Glad to have you join this thread community. It is a true blessing

Hi every one

Got a question......we're studying the ten commandments on Wed nights. We were on #5, Honor thy mother and thy father. The discussion got pretty heated on this. Some of us wanted to know how you can honor an abusive or just plain mean parent. We feel you can love them, but respect and honor are another matter. My father was a verbally abusive man. Always cussing, ranting, raving and mean spirited. He never respected any one. He also said he didn't believe in God. So, needless to say, I loved him, but never honored him. Our mom took care of us, he thought any thing we wanted or needed was useless.
I personally feel that Jesus would not want us in an abusive relationship, be it as a child or married to some one like that. He came to teach us love. He also taught us we didn't have to conform to the ways of the world, but follow him.
So, I'm interested in all your opinions on this.
Thanks,
Debby

"dolphindebby wrote:

Got a question......we're studying the ten commandments on Wed nights. We were on #5, Honor thy mother and thy father. The discussion got pretty heated on this. Some of us wanted to know how you can honor an abusive or just plain mean parent. We feel you can love them, but respect and honor are another matter. My father was a verbally abusive man. Always cussing, ranting, raving and mean spirited. He never respected any one. He also said he didn't believe in God. So, needless to say, I loved him, but never honored him. Our mom took care of us, he thought any thing we wanted or needed was useless.
I personally feel that Jesus would not want us in an abusive relationship, be it as a child or married to some one like that. He came to teach us love. He also taught us we didn't have to conform to the ways of the world, but follow him.
So, I'm interested in all your opinions on this.
Thanks,
Debby

I'll take a shot at it. It is a disturbingly common question.

First of all, one honors a parent in many ways and for different reasons. One may respect and indeed love someone who is unworthy, after all God loves us and we are certainly unworthy. We do it because it teaches us to love and respect God. We also need to be forgiving for its own sake. If we harbor hate that hurts us. It sours our relationship with all around us. While your father may have justly earned your anger, it does no harm to him and potentialy harms you. That would be a shame.

In Ephesians 6, we get a New Testament interpretation when we hear Paul's instruction to fathers not to provoke their children but to raise them recognize and obey the LORD Here we have the flip side of the commandment and a direct admonision for fathers to adhere to. It is a part of that long section in Ephesians 5 and 6 where we are taught to act as wise people and not unwise.

Hope this helps a little btw, what you are calling the fifth commandment, Lutherans, Catholics, Episcopalians, Orthodox, and some others call thefourth. There is an old time disagreement how they should be numbered.. Just an aside, I can work in either direction!

Thanks Ohio. That's exactly how a lot of us felt the other night. I loved my dad, I just chose not to be like him. I think Jesus and Paul taught us to have strength in all we do and to love un-conditionally, but at the same time, to be ever watchful for all the pit falls satan puts in our path. I forgave my dad long ago, but, I haven't forgotten the way my sisters and I were treated (only mentally) so I feel that way I can be aware and not put myself in positions like that.
I hope this came out right. It's hard to type feelings, isn't it?

"dolphindebby wrote:

Thanks Ohio. That's exactly how a lot of us felt the other night. I loved my dad, I just chose not to be like him. I think Jesus and Paul taught us to have strength in all we do and to love un-conditionally, but at the same time, to be ever watchful for all the pit falls satan puts in our path. I forgave my dad long ago, but, I haven't forgotten the way my sisters and I were treated (only mentally) so I feel that way I can be aware and not put myself in positions like that.
I hope this came out right. It's hard to type feelings, isn't it?

You are welcome. It came out fine!

When we are told to "love our neighbors as ourselves" we usually have more trouble loving neighbor than self. I mean, let's face it, humans are often very selfish. But in this case, the opposite is true.

If someone were hurting another person we would do what we could to keep the offender at a distance wouldn't we? I mean wars are fought over things like that. Yet too often we are made to feel guilty if we disassociate ourselves from someone, especially a relative, who hurts us! To love oneself sometimes involves quarantining ourselves from difficult or even dangerous influences.

That sounds like what you did and you are to be commended for the way you handled it!

"Ohiophinphan wrote:

You are welcome. It came out fine!

When we are told to "love our neighbors as ourselves" we usually have more trouble loving neighbor than self. I mean, let's face it, humans are often very selfish. But in this case, the opposite is true.

If someone were hurting another person we would do what we could to keep the offender at a distance wouldn't we? I mean wars are fought over things like that. Yet too often we are made to feel guilty if we disassociate ourselves from someone, especially a relative, who hurts us! To love oneself sometimes involves quarantining ourselves from difficult or even dangerous influences.

That sounds like what you did and you are to be commended for the way you handled it!

Thanks again.
We got along better after I left Ohio and moved to FL, then GA. I think some where in Proverbs it says to put distance between you and an enemy???? And "It's better to eat bread with a friend than steak with an enemy." And watch your enemies closely????
I wish I could remember verses better. I love The Word, but my memory fails me most of the time.
Thanks for the discussion and kindness. It is so wonderful to me that I found you guys on a football site. Who would have thunk it? :wink2:
And I thank Rev for starting this thread for us.
God bless all of you.

"dolphindebby wrote:

Thanks again.
We got along better after I left Ohio and moved to FL, then GA. I think some where in Proverbs it says to put distance between you and an enemy???? And "It's better to eat bread with a friend than steak with an enemy." And watch your enemies closely????
I wish I could remember verses better. I love The Word, but my memory fails me most of the time.
Thanks for the discussion and kindness. It is so wonderful to me that I found you guys on a football site. Who would have thunk it? :wink2:
And I thank Rev for starting this thread for us.
God bless all of you.

Keep in mind God prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies! (Psalm 23) Even in that arena, God is with us!

"dolphindebby wrote:

Thanks again.
We got along better after I left Ohio and moved to FL, then GA. I think some where in Proverbs it says to put distance between you and an enemy???? And "It's better to eat bread with a friend than steak with an enemy." And watch your enemies closely????
I wish I could remember verses better. I love The Word, but my memory fails me most of the time.
Thanks for the discussion and kindness. It is so wonderful to me that I found you guys on a football site. Who would have thunk it? :wink2:
And I thank Rev for starting this thread for us.
God bless all of you.

Nice, I believe the proverb is "Better to eat vegetables (herbs) in a house with love then the finest meat in a house full of strife"

Prov 15:17

That was an interesting question earlier ddebby, I think the idea behind blessing one's enemies and it pouring coals on their head is that kindness leaves a sort of debt with the recipient of it.

Now granted, there are some people for whom the most magnamous acts of kindness will not suffice, but they also tend to be the ones who need kindness the most.

Ohiophinphan, if you don't mind my asking, but what does a Chaplain do in the way of services?

Are you for example expected to know the various services for the majority of Denominations? Like weddings and baptisms and communion?

"Ohiophinphan wrote:

I'll take a shot at it. It is a disturbingly common question.

First of all, one honors a parent in many ways and for different reasons. One may respect and indeed love someone who is unworthy, after all God loves us and we are certainly unworthy. We do it because it teaches us to love and respect God. We also need to be forgiving for its own sake. If we harbor hate that hurts us. It sours our relationship with all around us. While your father may have justly earned your anger, it does no harm to him and potentialy harms you. That would be a shame.

In Ephesians 6, we get a New Testament interpretation when we hear Paul's instruction to fathers not to provoke their children but to raise them recognize and obey the LORD Here we have the flip side of the commandment and a direct admonision for fathers to adhere to. It is a part of that long section in Ephesians 5 and 6 where we are taught to act as wise people and not unwise.

Hope this helps a little btw, what you are calling the fifth commandment, Lutherans, Catholics, Episcopalians, Orthodox, and some others call thefourth. There is an old time disagreement how they should be numbered.. Just an aside, I can work in either direction!

i truly enjoy reading your posts, they have a very comforting feeling. i hope that my posting here is not an intrusion, but i wanted to comment on the act of forgiveness or forgiving.

often we think of forgiveness for the person receiving it and leave it at that. not following through the process, we leave things incomplete. forgiving or forgiveness is as much, if not more for the one giving it. it is a release. a release form the power that the one receiving has over the one giving. when you say i forgive, and truly mean it, you release your self from that which causes the conflict. the person receiving no longer has the power to inflict pain.

sorry if this is inappropriate to post in this thread but i wanted to add that to this discussion. if it does not fit, please disregard this. thanks all.

"Ohiophinphan wrote:

Keep in mind God prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies! (Psalm 23) Even in that arena, God is with us!

Serious question.

If two people think they are right and God is with both of you, what does that mean? Does it give an advantage to both, or just assure that the outcome will be best for both?

Again I'm not Christian and don't want to disrespect you guys in any way, just curious.

"DOLPHAN1 wrote:

i truly enjoy reading your posts, they have a very comforting feeling. i hope that my posting here is not an intrusion, but i wanted to comment on the act of forgiveness or forgiving.

often we think of forgiveness for the person receiving it and leave it at that. not following through the process, we leave things incomplete. forgiving or forgiveness is as much, if not more for the one giving it. it is a release. a release form the power that the one receiving has over the one giving. when you say i forgive, and truly mean it, you release your self from that which causes the conflict. the person receiving no longer has the power to inflict pain.

sorry if this is inappropriate to post in this thread but i wanted to add that to this discussion. if it does not fit, please disregard this. thanks all.

It's a beautiful post. Thanks.
You have put it into words better than I ever could.
Posts such as this are always welcome.
Debby

"padre31 wrote:

Ohiophinphan, if you don't mind my asking, but what does a Chaplain do in the way of services?

Are you for example expected to know the various services for the majority of Denominations? Like weddings and baptisms and communion?

It depends on the setting. My principal gig is that of a parish pastor so I perform the normal services of my denomination. When I serve as an emergency chaplain, then my duties are mostly giving death notifications alongside of law enforcement, counseling for first responders who have experianced trauma, and occasionaly funerals and weddings. Since folks desiring the latter are coming to me because they have no regular parish home they get a slightly modified (depends on circumstances) version of my regular liturgy.

If you are a hospital chaplain, which I have also done in the past, your work with staff is largely counseling though the same applies to weddings and funerals. With patients, it is helpful to know the basic prayers, etc of a variety of religious traditions.

Now military chaplains also need to be able to connect personnel with leaders of their respective traditions while on base and provide services in the field as they are able. The military has a variety of literary resouces for chaplains to use and where conscience and tradition permit, they are expected to be familiar with all of them.

On this board my duties are principally counseling (as we are able in writing) and prayers.

Is this what you were looking for?

"DOLPHAN1 wrote:

i truly enjoy reading your posts, they have a very comforting feeling. i hope that my posting here is not an intrusion, but i wanted to comment on the act of forgiveness or forgiving.

often we think of forgiveness for the person receiving it and leave it at that. not following through the process, we leave things incomplete. forgiving or forgiveness is as much, if not more for the one giving it. it is a release. a release form the power that the one receiving has over the one giving. when you say i forgive, and truly mean it, you release your self from that which causes the conflict. the person receiving no longer has the power to inflict pain.

sorry if this is inappropriate to post in this thread but i wanted to add that to this discussion. if it does not fit, please disregard this. thanks all.

Very well said, thank you. You have hit the nail on the head. We forgive at least in part to relieve ourselves of the burdens of anger and hate.

"Alex44 wrote:

Serious question.

If two people think they are right and God is with both of you, what does that mean? Does it give an advantage to both, or just assure that the outcome will be best for both?

Again I'm not Christian and don't want to disrespect you guys in any way, just curious.

Your question is fine. Thank you for asking.

I am reminded by the question of the startling revelation some troops had in WWII that both sides in Europe were using the same prayer books in some cases. It was sobering.

The reality is that sometimes people are wrong even when they believe God is on their side. We are able to rationalize almost anything. It is also true that evil sometimes comes out on top here on earth.

It is best to remain humble and work hard at prayer and discerment when one is in an argument to discover where a truth lies. Even the truth, not told in love, can be a club not a blessing.

"Ohiophinphan wrote:

Your question is fine. Thank you for asking.

I am reminded by the question of the startling revelation some troops had in WWII that both sides in Europe were using the same prayer books in some cases. It was sobering.

The reality is that sometimes people are wrong even when they believe God is on their side. We are able to rationalize almost anything. It is also true that evil sometimes comes out on top here on earth.

It is best to remain humble and work hard at prayer and discerment when one is in an argument to discover where a truth lies. Even the truth, not told in love, can be a club not a blessing.

Your answers and opinions are always so gracious and gentle. No wonder you were called to be a Chaplain.
I have been praying for discernment. It's already better for me. God is so good!!!!!
Thank you.

"dolphindebby wrote:

Your answers and opinions are always so gracious and gentle. No wonder you were called to be a Chaplain.
I have been praying for discernment. It's already better for me. God is so good!!!!!
Thank you.

You are most welcome. Please know your concerns have been added to my prayer list.

I am doing the meeting at the church's marriage group my wife and I attend.
The topic is "Spiritual Bucket List" or "things that I would like to accomplish for God before I die.

I am using the following song for the meeting:

It's not a Christian song but I love it nonetheless, especially the reference to his father (Tug) in the end.

I am using 1 Thessalonians 5:

Christian Conduct
12But we request of you, brethren, that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you, and have charge over you in the Lord and give you instruction,

13and that you esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Live in peace with one another.

14We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage (F)the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone.

15See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always (J)seek after that which is good for one another and for all people.

16Rejoice always;

17pray without ceasing;

Pastor Keith has been great with his advice for the meeting. So I ask you all this:

What would you include as part of your spiritual bucket list?
Please share. :wink2:

So how has it been going?

I received this in the mail and thought I'd share it:

As a young minister in Kentucky, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a graveside service for a homeless man, who had no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a new cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be buried there. I was not familiar with the backwoods area, and I soon became lost.

Being a typical man, I did not stop to ask for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the open grave, but the hearse was nowhere in sight. The digging crew was eating lunch. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and I stepped to the side of the open grave. There I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long, as I told them that this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around the grave and stood silently, as I began to pour out my heart and soul. As I preached about 'looking forward to a brighter tomorrow' and 'the glory that is to come,' the workers began to say 'Amen,' 'Praise the Lord,' and 'Glory!'

The fervor of these men truly inspired me. So, I preached and I preached like I had never preached before, all the way from Genesis to Revelations. I finally closed the lengthy service with a prayer, thanked the men, and walked to my car. As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I heard one of the workers say to another, 'I ain't NEVER seen nothin' like that before, and I've been puttin' in septic tanks for thirty years!'

I love it !!!!!!!

That's great Mal.:sidelol:

This is a great thread. Here is the audio from last Sundays service. I thought it was a great message and pastor Andy is IMO a great speaker, you can feel the spirit working through him every Sunday morning.

http://htcde.podcastpeople.com/posts/24641