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Stella Awards

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Idahophin, Jan 10, 2009.

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  1. Idahophin

    Idahophin Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    Snake River Plain
    2008 Stella Awards
    It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'!

    For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old
    Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the
    McDonald's in New Mexico where she purchased the coffee. You remember, she
    took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was
    driving.. Who would ever think one could get burned
    doing that, right?
    That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts
    in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head.
    So keep your head scratcher handy.

    Here are the Stella's for the past year :

    ; 7TH PLACE :
    Kathleen Robertson of Austin , Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her
    peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
    inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by
    the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son..


    6TH PLACE :
    Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won $74,000 plus medical
    expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman
    appar ently didn't no tice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he
    was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

    Go ahead, grab your head scratcher.


    5TH PLACE :

    Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , was leaving a house he had just
    burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic
    garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to
    open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the
    garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for
    eight, count 'em, EIGHT, days on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog
    food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental
    Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson
    $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish.

    Keep scratching. There are more...


    4TH PLACE :
    Jerry Williams, of Little Rock , Arkansas , garnered 4th Place in the Stella 'S
    when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the
    butt by his next door neighbor's
    beagle - even though the beagle was on a
    chain in its owner's fence d yard..

    Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the
    beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because
    Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the
    dog with a pellet gun.

    Grrrrr ..... Scratch, scratch.


    3RD PLAC E :
    Third place goes to Amber Carson of Lancaster , Pennsylvania because a jury
    ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a
    spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on
    the floor : Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier
    during an argument. What ever happened to people being responsible for their
    own actions?


    Scratch, scratch, scratch. Hang in there; there are only two more Stellas
    to go.. .


    2ND PLACE :
    Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a
    nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking
    out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through
    the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said
    the night club had to pay her $12,000 ...oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go
    figure.



    1ST PLACE : .....May I have a fanfare played on 50 kazoos please
    This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski,
    of Oklahoma , who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor
    home. On her first trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto
    the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
    driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make
    herself a sandwich.
    Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
    Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the
    owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the
    cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down,
    $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals
    as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who
    might also buy a motor home.

    You can't fix stupid ..and now its profitable
     
    calphin likes this.

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