Sex addiction real — or excuse for cheating?

Topdawg13 · Feb 20, 2010

For you Tiger fans out there, I thought this was an interesting read into his "condition".

“Women have a hard time believing that sexual compulsion exists because in part, they can’t relate to it,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of Sex Recharge. “During desire and sex, the female body produces higher levels of the feel-good chemical oxytocin, making sex more of an emotional act than it is for men.”

In other words, for women, this physiological response can act as a hormonal safeguard from developing an obsession—which explains why, according to Canning and Weiss, 90 percent of sex addicts are male.

So who are these guys? Famous or not, Canning says these men have an unusually intense sex drive and unhealthy preoccupation with sex, despite the negative consequences they bring. For many of these men, addiction is their way of trying to fill an emotional void that’s rarely satiated by one-night stands, masturbation, Internet porn—even loving, monogamous sex—all of which stimulate the dopamine-centers in the brain, providing euphoric thrills of gratification.

Psychiatric evaluation is essential to diagnosis, because according to Dr. Douglas Weiss, at the Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado there are various types of sex addicts with triggers ranging from sexual trauma, neurological conditions, family issues, and mood or personality disorders.

Here, a look at what’s going on (and what isn’t) in sex rehabilitation programs around the country:

Sex addiction is treated like any other addiction.
There’s no “substance” involved—which is why the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) won’t acknowledge sex addiction as a “disease”. Yet many rehabs treat sex addiction as a chemical dependency as well as a behavioral one.

Patients follow the “12-step” ideology, which prohibits them from sexual stimulants (for e.g., porn) for 90 days—the amount of time it typically takes for brain chemicals to stop the cravings and for the body to undergo withdrawal, which can include depression, body aches, and lack of motivation.

Masturbation is forbidden — forever!
Just as an alcoholic is instructed to never again have another drink, so is a sex addict prohibited from self-gratification. The idea is, sex should always be an emotional experience (with a loving partner) and not for pure sexual gratification (read: one-night stands, pornography, or fantasies). Patients are taught to connect with their partners and to focus on sensuality, not sexuality.

Significant others usually share in the blame.
Despite the shock and betrayal many women feel when they discover their partner is an addict (usually the way Elin found out: by going through her husband’s text messages), Canning says women play a significant role in the problem. “It’s almost impossible to not know, on some level, that your man is cheating,” she says. “Women often pick people who they subconsciously don’t trust, knowing he has the capacity to cheat.” Thus “family weekends” are encouraged at some clinics, where relationship and individual counseling are offered, upping a couple’s post-rehab success rate to 80 percent.
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rbroker19 · Feb 21, 2010

I think it is a commitment problem, not a sex addiction

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