The most important front office news first: We've replaced Happy Flederson with Gus Waller as head of vending. We will be upgrading the food. And there will be no skittle-laced sausage. "Beer will now be buy one get one free. I'm tired of these price gauges going on in these damn parks for beverages. It's a god damned beverage, not gold. So beer and sodas, yeah all that, buy one get one free. And bottled water? That's for stupid uppity ups that don't know football from their scrotum. Tap water lives on, *******s." -Gus Waller's initial statement. In other news, Jason Michael has been hired to replace the vacated position by 2nd and Inches Let's Pass Yeah! as Offensive Coordinator. Dan Quinn was swiftly hired away and Ken Norton Jr. was promoted after assistant general manager Erik Hammer went to the players for their recommendations. He was the unanimous suggestion. Further, Craig SmiF has been replaced with Matt Hasselbeck and Rocky Seto has been replaced by former legend Cortez Kennedy.