"Rex Ryan Offers Roster Spot to Anyone Who Punches Bill Belichick in the Dick"

BUFFALO — The Buffalo Bills head coach Rex Ryan today said there is a roster spot waiting for any Patriots player who punches New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick “as hard as they can, square in the dick.”

The generous opportunity comes on the heels of Ryan signing IK Enemkpali one day after the backup linebacker broke the jaw of Jets quarterback Geno Smith with a punch and was released.

“I want all the players in the NFL to know that the Bills will offer you safe harbor if you kick the **** out of someone important from an organization that I hate,” Ryan said. “Your career won’t be over. Once you get released, I will snap you right up as an act of gratitude. I promise.”