I understand that as well. Not putting a rubber stamp on "all". Not justifying all things done in the name of religion in the early conlonies by no means. Let me just say I believe in separation of church and state. I don't want a government telling me how to pray and what to pray or how to participate in worship. Likewise, I should not impose my will on those who do not believe as I do. I was a part of Campus Crusade many years ago and while that involved evangelism, it did not support excess on those who did not want to hear. Total respect for others was in place. Someone says no, you move on if you want to share. Interest and desire to pursue lie with the message receiver. It is a choice, as I choose to believe what I do.
As a non-religious person, I was absolutely hounded by people in college trying to convince me to their side. It was awful while I was at Tennessee.
In Christianity it teaches the moment of conversion is a conscience process with the Holy Spirit (as part of the Trinity) communicating so to speak. It is not meant to be a pushing process that enforces pressure. In the book of Matthew Jesus teaches followers to spread the word, but it does not tell them to manipulate, pressure, or thump. If there is any pressure it is from within you in terms of that Holy Spirit process. That is what leads to true conversion. Not human pressure. Christians are instructed to share or model their faith, but not enforce conversion. I know that is not reflective of some things in history.
To be fair, Christianity tells believers that we are supposed to walk like Jesus did and show our faith by the life we live. Christianity also tells us that we're all sinners and will fall short of the mark, regardless of how hard we try. The goal is to be pure in thought and in action, yet we have free will and we live in a very broken world with temptation and distractions around every turn. So just know that the judgement you felt was both misplaced and unwarranted. That's not how Christians are called to live. We're certainly not better than anyone else because we fail just as often. The truth of the matter is that we're all going to fall short and we have no right to judge others on anything. There's a story in the New Testament about a woman who committed adultery and some locals asked Jesus if they should stone her to death. His response was, "Sure, let he who hasn't sinned cast the first stone." Nobody picked up a rock, LoL. In other words, I'm not in a position to judge until I'm living a perfect life...which I'll never do. Nobody will.
Having been in so many churches and listened to so much I have struggled with my spirituality. One thing I have noticed about those who start movements. Those who follow can be overzealous and move away from the original focus of the movement. I refuse to blame other people for my struggles, as they are my own. Because I believe in Jesus I keep my focus on him. I try to weed out the integrated cultural components that we have here in the Bible Belt, like politics and being conservative. I focus on him through my struggles because what He taught gets all muddled with cultural influences. It is not easy. And I never thought it would be.
