Prez's power rankings week 2 part 1

PREZ’S POWER RANKINGS WEEK 2

Been busy at work lately. I’ll have part 2 up on Saturday

THE RED HEADED STEP CHILDREN

32) RAMS – You gotta love the St Louis Rams fans. Ever the optimists, they have high hopes for the season after the exciting debut of the rookie QB Sam Bradford and a loss to Arizona that went down to the wire. There is even talk that the defense is on the verge of being good. Says something about the state of the St Louis mindset when a loss to a declining team with a 2nd string QB at the helm, an injured Larry Fitzgerald and a defense that had five new starters elicits such exuberance. If they can lose to Oakland there may even be talk of making the playoffs. (last week 31)

31) BILLS – The good news, you are 1/16 of the way to being able to draft the best QB prospect since Peyton Manning in Andrew Luck. The bad news is he’s a sophomore, is smart enough to go to Stanford and you’re Buffalo. Can you say I’ll stay another year in school if the choice is Buffalo or freshman college girls? (last week 29)

30) BROWNS – Jake Delhomme did what he does best in Cleveland’s debut game, namely throw a costly momentum changing interception and get injured all on the same play. Then gut it out for the next thirty minutes and accomplish absolutely nothing other than have the Browns prepare for the Chiefs this week with Seneca Wallace as the starting QB. Apparently the Chiefs vs. Browns game will be sponsored by NO-DOZE tablets as that is the only way you’re going to be able to stay awake if you try to watch this game. ( last week 28)

29) CHIEFS – Great news! The Great Midwest Balloon Fest is coming to Johnson County Missouri! 36 hot-air balloons from across the country will take off and land and compete in skill and accuracy contests. Unfortunately this precludes Matt Cassell from competing in the festivities. (last week 30)

28) BUCCANEERS - An envelope with a suspicious substance and a threatening note was found on the second floor of the St. Petersburg Police Department downtown headquarters Wednesday night causing the building to be evacuated. Found inside were season tickets to the Buccaneers and a note saying it was a gift to the local police force. A manhunt is underway to find this terrorist. (last week 27)

27) RAIDERS - A toxic algae that forms in reservoirs, lakes and stagnant freshwater ponds was responsible for the deaths of at least 21
threatened California sea otters in the Monterey Bay area, a scientific study revealed Friday. Left out of the report was the fact that the toxic algae also forms out of the stagnant offensive gameplans used by Tom Cable and company. Expect the death toll for California Sea Otters to rise dramatically this year. (last week 20)

26) SEAHAWKS – A car with a dog inside tumbled 1,100 feet into Oregon's Crater Lake, but the dog was able to jump from the vehicle with only minor injuries. Apparently the dog had the 49ers in a knockout pool but had second thoughts about ending it all. ( last week 32)

25) CARDINALS – Is there a place for QB Derek Anderson, a career 53% completion passer in a league that demands 60% or higher? True to form Anderson completed 22 of 41 for a 53.7% completion percentage against the Rams. More worrisome for the Cardinals was that he only completed 3 of 15 to Larry Fitzgerald. Not to worry Arizona thinks it has solved the problem and will have QB Coach Chris Miller, a lifetime 54.6% completion QB when he played, work on improving Derek’s accuracy. Yeah, that should fix the problem. (last week 24)

AT LEAST YOU TRIED

24) LIONS – What’s the first thing Lions fans will hear after the Lions win the Super Bowl? The alarm clock. And like a bad version of Groundhog Day they will get to relive another losing season without a trip to the Super Bowl. Over and over again until they’re being covered in dirt and the priest is reading last rites (last week 19)

23) BRONCOS – Colorado’s State Board of Health rejected adding Tourette’s syndrome to the list of conditions for which patients can obtain medical marijuana. Apparently since McDaniels became coach its virtually impossible for doctors to determine which patients suffer from Tourette’s and which are merely Broncos fans (last week 25)

22) JAGUARS – “Jacksonville Jaguars' wives give Finegan Elementary students a physical fitness workout. (Finegan Elementary fifth-graders get active with help of Jaguars wives).” This was an actual headline in the Jacksonville papers. No wonder the Jaguars players came out angry and hell bent on victory. Seeing how inspired his team played, Coach Jack Del Rio will have the Jacksonville Jaguars wives visiting all the schools in the Jacksonville area throughout the football season. Oh to be a kid in Jacksonville. Lucky bastards (last week 26)

21) PANTHERS – Why has there never been a story of a QB being eaten by a panther? Because panthers are allergic to Quarterbacks. Think I’m kidding? Kerry Collins, Frank Reich, Steve Beuerlein, Chris Weinke, Matt Lytle, Rodney Peete, Randy Fasani, Jake Delhomme, Vinny Testaverde, David Carr, Matt Moore. You’re doomed Jimmy Claussen, you’re doomed. (last week 18)

20) 49ERS– What a week for the people of San Francisco. Four people dead, several more missing. No, I’m not talking about the massive gas pipeline explosion in San Fran suburb San Bruno. I’m talking about the 49ers offense which self destructed in a far more brutal manner than the gas pipeline against the Seattle defense (last week 15)

19) JETS – Mark Sanchez has been on a mission ever since he started modeling for GQ and other fashion publications. Seeing an epidemic of overweight fans at the Meadowlands, he has set out to help the people of Jersey lose weight so that they can be healthier and more beautiful. Using the glamour model tricks of the trade, his passing performance in Monday Night’s battle with the Ravens, had Jets fans throwing up in the hundreds of thousands. It was probably the world’s single largest example of mass bulimia the world has ever seen. (last week 17)

18) REDSKINS – The Geezer squad from DC took a page out of Clint Eastwood and Gran Torino and ran off the punk Cowboys to secure an opening day victory. The Redskins weren’t able to celebrate the victory however as it was past the bedtime of half the players when the game ended. (last week 23)

17) EAGLES – The Philadelphia Phillies are seeking new ballgirls for their team and the Eagles are seeking new drummers for theirs. Just another example of how the Phillies are better than the Eagles in every way. (last week 21)

 

I dont think Trent Edwards sucks because he comes from Stanford. He sucks because he's a little midget that has the arm strength of a ten year old and cant throw past ten yards with any consistency

 

well it was week one, it was raining, cassell threw for 68 yds and the Chargers outgained them by a two to one margin in overall yards. I just think they caught the Chargers flat. We'll see. The most I would move them up is to 26 or 25 but I just dont buy the victory yet

 

they have a ton of players over 30. I would be really surprised if that team doesnt fall apart as the season goes on due to injuries