Effective immediately, the Green Bay Packers have terminated the contract of Ted Thompson. Stringer Bell has been hired to replace Thompson. Mr. Bell will be the highest paid GM in NFL history. He has signed a 10 year, $150M contract. As Mr. Bell has final authority over all football decisions, he will not be holding a press conference. He has however, made the following statement: Stringer Bell has also announced some new measures being implemented himself to improve the Packers' home field. These measures include chained lions positioned behind opponents end-zones, as well as the presence of Vince Lombardi's frozen corpse on the Packers' sideline. Mr. Bell has also fired the entire cheerleading team, and has placed himself in charge of filling those positions. More details will be emerging in the coming days.
