Actually what you are describing is a "visitation". A wake is a prayer service that can take place at a visitation or at another time. Trust me, I'm in the business! I also tend to cut mourning widows, widowers, and family a little more slack. They are angry at the death and often lash out irrationally at all comers! Absolutely!!!!!!!!
Ah...I'm an Italian from the Bronx...we always called it a wake. Three days, two viewings each day. Frikkin torture.
Are you sure that Irish Mom was yelling at you because you were Wiccan and not because you were Italian?