Phinnhedd's Drunken Locks week 9

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This is no way, no how, logical for the gambling man. This is the ramblings of a man that doesn't know Jack Schlitzenberg.

• Texans @ Minnesota
  I'm taking the Texans this week. Where the hell has Adrian Peterson been? Gus Frerotte passing? Step right up Mario Williams, today is your day. You ask me why? Cause I said so.
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• Jets @ Bills
  If you're thinking Favre this week then I'd say you're crazy. Bills continue their somewhat domination of the AFC East and rebound from a bad game last week against our Phins. You say where the hell is the Billls defense? They just took a week off.
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• Lions @ Chicago
  Do I really need to predict this one?
  Hello Kyle Orton.
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• Ravens @ Browns
  Hmm. I think I need to think this one over. OK I'm done, Browns can't do crap on offense and the Ravens kick their *** in a really boring game. Maybe the Browns do something offensively throwing the ball but I just conferred with my associate the magic 8 ball and "his sources say no"
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• GB @ Tennessee
  Aaron Rodgers has a field day. Easy win for the Pack. '72 Phins take the champagne off ice and get wasted.
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• Arizona @ St. Louis
  Kurt Warner comes out at half time and smacks the living crap out of Marc Bulger for stealing his job. Then Warner torches the dog doo out of the Ram's secondary and then reconsiders retirement. Instead, Bulger thinks about quitting. Cards win claiming they are who we thought they were.
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• Bucs @ Kansas City
  Who the hell is Tyler Thigpen, sounds like a wannabe comic book character or something from the Peanuts comic strip. KC attempts a field goal late but the ball is fumbled out of the way in the last minute and the Bucs take a Win home. Herm Edwards loses his job after this meltdown.
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• Jags @ Bengals
  The Bengal is clearly larger and more vicious than a Jaguar, Bengals win by chewing the nuts off of the Jaguar. Stripes>Spots.
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• Falcons @ Raiders
  Al Davis nearly dies before half time so JaMarcus Russell throws him a deep pass into the Owners box for a score. Too bad it wasn't to one of his receivers because Javon Walker was wide open. Falcons win impressively.
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• Cowboys @ Giants
  Why do 2 New York teams play in New Jersey? Brad Johnson clearly sucks as Eli has a 300+ yard passing game against the reeling Cowboys team. Can the Cowboys recover without Romo starting? I guarantee T.O. quits the NFL after this game.
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• Eagles @ Seahawks
  The Eagle is much more impressive than the Seahawk. Eagle swoops down, murders the Seahawk and takes his fish to boot. Eagle then lands on a branch overlooking the Westbrook and has a nice meal. Eagles dominate.
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• Patriots @ Indianapolis
  Peyton takes a huge hit to the knee by Richard Seymour, taking him out of the game. Reggie Wayne doesn't want to play anymore as the Patriots sneak one out in Indy. Sad day for Colts fans, as they realize their beloved franchise is spinning downward out of control.

I no way, no how, ask you to bet accordingly to these picks. Monday I will tell you differently.

If you don't like my picks, give me a thanks

 

How can you not like the Bengal tiger? Jags disappoint my chi.

 

No.

 

I'll be back next week peeps, trust me. It's no anomaly.