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Peter Kiper's Official Unofficial Mock Draft

Discussion in '2015 GM League Forum' started by schisno, Feb 20, 2015.

  1. schisno

    schisno Well-Known Member

    Jan 3, 2008
    Peter Kiper Mocks The 2015 Draft -- Unofficially​

    It seems continuing to build up a tab here at my favorite watering hole and being retired don't mix well. Someone forgot to tell the bartender that I don't need money to drink, my mouth does it for free. Now to keep the New York Times Bar and Grill happy I will deliver you all exciting new content including my famous and mostly right mock drafts. Without further adieu, here is my first official unofficial 2015 Mock Draft.

    001. Denver (from Tampa Bay)
    QB Jameis Winston, Florida State
    - Peyton Manning gets traded for 2013 GML #1 Overall Pick Dee Milliner and a fourth round pick, forces a move for a QB. Unfortunately the new Packers GM holds Aaron Rodgers in high regards than the last GM. If you ask me the drinking happened right after that trade happened last year and not before.
    - This works because Manning can't win the big one unless the NFL is dictating who wins, especially when it's got historic Superbowl implications. Otherwise we all know Manning would be 0-2 in the big game.

    002. Cleveland (from Tennessee)
    QB Brett Hundley
    - Connor Shaw is on your roster, was Shane Matthews or Danny Wuerfel busy? Unfortunately Mariota doesn't translate to the NFL. I hear Blake Sims is trying out at running back, maybe Mariota needs to try out at fullback because that's where these spread to pro experiment quarterbacks belong in a category of near extinction.
    - Got better under a former pro head coach and can work as a dual threat quarterback. He'll have a better career then Mariota, I mean who's ever heard of an Oregon QB leading a pro team anywhere. Cleveland realizes the horrors of what a top 3 Oregon QB flaming out again means.

    003. Miami (from Jacksonville)
    WR Kevin White, West Virginia
    - What we've learned this offseason is that Brian Hartline is the bane of the new Miami GM's existence as he's been trying hard to jettison their maligned great white hope, instead they replace them with THE great White hope.
    - Landry works as the possession guy, Hartline can be the overpaid number two and Kevin White can be the guy that fans will remember the Miami GM taking over Amari Cooper.

    004. Oakland
    WR Amari Cooper, Alabama
    - Percy Harvin is a headache, but offers a versatile player but not the number one they want at receiver. Amari led the college ranks in receptions and receiving touchdowns. It's a no brainer here as Stafford needs targets.
    - Miami still feels Kevin White's catch-drop ratio of 1 in 33 versus Coopers 1 in 35 makes the world of difference but I see man throwing the ball the difference.

    005. Tennessee (from Washington)
    QB Marcus Mariota, Oregon
    - Titans GM will tell you that he doesn't need Leonard Williams he just landed the big catch Calais Campbell himself. Instead he uses his all of his QB scouting knowledge and takes the media's advice of Mariota being the second best QB in the draft, forsaking his real number one Bryce Petty.
    - Quarterbacks make receivers, the Titans GM can be heard muttering as he burns this week.

    006. Tampa Bay (from New York Jets via Denver)
    DE/OLB Randy Gregory, Nebraska
    - Feeling they're solid at defensive tackle, Leonard Williams is ignored. Instead looking to address who will rush opposite Jadaveon Clowney or possibly upgrading their LB unit they nab a guy who can be tried at both spots.
    - They made consider the drafts number one rated offensive lineman in Brandon Scherff

    007. New England (from Chicago)
    DT Leonard Williams, Southern California
    - New England walked into a lucky situation where Chicago's new GM had such an infatuation with Jimmy G that he determined he was a top ten pick in this draft class. So once again a case of the rich getting richer, the Patriots wind up Leonard Williams and will shortly look at moving Vince Wilfork.
    - Another team that I've got pegged for taking Brandon Scherff and that's not because it's a need, but because his love for Iowa is greater than Chicago's for Jimmy Grapesandabarrello

    008. San Francisco (from Atlanta)
    DT Danny Shelton, Washington
    - They want and need an upgrade in the middle of their defensive line, the numbers add up and they get their man. It's funny that the GM's absurd name actually adds up to this pick.
    - Though the 49ers GM actually likes a guy that can play the 3 0r 5, so they might consider Arik Armstead as well.

    009. New York Giants
    DE Arik Armstead, Oregon
    - They haven't tagged JPP yet, so they might just want a cheaper solution and someone that's even bigger with Arik Armstead.
    - They'll stand by their Manning (I haven't used that in some time) and not worry about QB yet, or ever, or until they trade Eli...whichever comes first.

    010. St. Louis
    WR Devante Parker, Louisville
    - It's February and I have a dream, or had a dream that Aaron Rodgers was the starting QB for the Rams but then again I must have been asleep or drunk since last year. Apparently I've woken up to a nightmare where St Louis has decide if Sam Bradford or Andy Dalton gets them to LA faster. I doubt even Devante Parker, Louisville Can't Lose.

    011. Minnesota
    CB Trae Waynes, Michigan State
    - The Vikings have made a few moves to upgrade a lot of different position on the team but still need some more talent and depth at corner back. Even if their targets at receiver were still on the board it would have been a toss up if they went offense over defense. The most talented corner in the draft Waynes looks to take over Fred Smoots business in the land of a thousand lakes. Outdated references, I love it.

    012. Washington (from Cleveland via Tennessee)
    DE/OLB Shane Ray, Missouri
    - Brian Orakpo could be gone and the Redskins defense was at their best when they had both Ryan Kerrigan and Brian Orakpo rushing, so they simply replace Orakpo was Shane Ray. If you're going to trust a rusher with two first names it might as well be scheme versatile player like Ray.

    013. New Orleans
    WR Jaelen Strong, Arizona State
    - There's some talent at receiver for the Saints but I forget who, it's like everything in my mind about this league got erased. I'm sure it'll come back to me, but they need a big strong receiver who can go up for the ball and make some jaw dropping catches. A little high for him, like some of the balls that will be thrown by Brock Osweiller, but in this league you have to strike earlier or just strike out later.

    014. Jacksonville (from Miami)
    WR Dorial Green-Beckham, Okahoma by way of Missouri
    - Big talented receiver with character issues, everything the Jaguars like in their pass catchers. Hell I bet this club would go as far as turning a big quarterback with issues into their future number one receiver. So let's skip a step and bring in a guy who can help Justin Blackmon stay on the straight and narrow.
    - It's hard to trade for or sign a number one receiver and I hear the Jacksonville GM has been known to take gambles.

    015. New York Jets (from San Francisco via Atlanta via Denver)
    OT Brandon Scherff, Iowa
    - The Jets have landed yet another hall of fame bound QB, and many are waiting with bated breath on when his lil' Manning shows up on a text to Otis Livingston. Of course they need to protect Manning from becoming too fragile to finish the season strong or able to lead an offense.
    - Scherff is an easy upgrade over Breno Gio-Here comes the hot stepper-comini until he's ready to take over at the left tackle position.

    016. Houston
    OT TJ Clemmings, Pittsburgh
    - Boy do they need help at inside linebacker but they don't want to reach for any of the prospects expected to go later in the first and early second, instead they look at going with value and replacing the inferior Tyson Clabo with someone who can take over for Duane Brown in a few seasons when he'll be well into his thirties. Expect later picks to fix the holes left in defense by their offseason trades thus far.

    017. San Diego
    OT Andrus Peat, Stanford
    - I checked out their team website, I don't know who they're playing at left tackle so I went and spun my magic wheel o'tackles that I haven't given to a team and assign them the Stanford tackle that wasn't bullied or named Jonathan....Martin... who was he kidding you can't block a guy with two first names or left feet, or right feet as a matter. Maybe you could do it with the same sided hands, because the rusher would see those freak of natures shoot up and be all what in the name of Alien Nation is that and lead to Phillip Rivers throwing a touchdown to win the Superbowl.
    - Talk about a steam of conscious. Chargers have a need, they fill it, end of story.

    018. Kansas City
    S Landon Collins, Alabama
    - Once in a blue moon you can see the mysterious and endangered Kansas City GM, whether it's there to eat, talk a walk or wonder how it'll top its double whammy of Matt Kalil and Trent Richardson in the top five you can be sure their website was done by a sixth grader for his computer class project. What does that mean? I can't read their roster page and will randomly assign them a player from my big bag of players I'll give Kansas.
    - Landon Collins, every team needs a safety...net or otherwise. Good job Kansas, I'll drink to your rare sighting.

    019. Cleveland
    LB/RB/S Shaq Thompson, Washington
    - They really need a receiver and would have been better off selecting one at number two then Brett Hundley here but like all logic, mind was clouded by an empty beer glass at the time. There isn't a receiver worth reaching for and they have holes at safety, runningback and linebacker so they bring in a kid who plays all three.
    - Don't believe me? In chess bishops only move diagonally and in the NFL it's not for positive yards. Shaq is immediately an upgrade at running back and offers the Browns someone who can be their starting weakside linebacker or strong safety.

    020. Philadelphia
    DE/OLB Alvin Dupree, Kentucky
    - They expected Marcus Smith to be their dominant pass rusher but that went nowhere but to a trade. So they take another stab at it and bring in the SEC's sack leader in Dupree. He's got good length and has the numbers to prove he can do the job, but it won't be at LB because the Eagles are going 4-3, yes that's right... some say 3-4, they want to say 4-3, but no matter how much you switch up the number of wins you expect it's still the same 12 or 13 losses on the horizon.
    - Spags needs a lot of rushers for his Ends and GM VinO is more then happy to supply them.

    021. Green Bay (from Cincinnati)
    OLB Vic Beasley, Clemson
    - Julius Peppers isn't the Packers GM's cup of tea, especially with such a big salary. Instead he wants someone that can really get to the other teams QB with young legs. Beasley could have easily been a top ten pick last year but falls all the way to the Packers lap a year later. Luckily for them they'll soon have Dez Bryant catch on with the team, so there isn't a need to reach, especially when the value wouldn't be called a catch by those watching.

    022. Pittsburgh
    CB Marcus Peters, Washington
    - As the GML's foremost biochemist, the Steeler's GM doesn't have time to make a mistake and setting the NFL's most storied franchise behind a decade. Instead he'll keep his team mostly intact by adding a cornerback that will solve the problem of Polly's hair slowing down and splitting at the ends, leading to an eventual receding in talent and disappearance from the league. I still wonder why my book of poetry never sold.

    023. Detroit
    RB Todd Gurley, Georgia
    - This GM makes big bold moves. Franchising Suh and now drafting the first running back in the first round since Trent Richardson. ACL's be damned, the mileage on Gurley isn't bad and ACL injuries aren't what they use to be either. Willis McGahee turned into a fine runner after his injury and Detroit feels the same way here. What about the Badger? It's not like the likes of Montee Ball, John Clay or James White are taking the NFL by storm.

    024. Arizona
    TE Clive Walford, Miami (FL)
    - If you're relying on John Carlson, you've been in the desert too long and seeing mirages of a tight end that can help your team as an effective pass catcher or blocker. Some will tell you Maxx Williams is the way to go with his pedigree, but he certainly looks like dog food compared to the more athletic Warford. Arizona still believes in Tight Ends from the U, if he's wrong he'll just sign Jeremy Shockey.

    025. Carolina
    RB Melvin Gordon, Wisconsin
    - They love running backs, more than a functional offensive line. They'll worry about another receiver beyond Kelvin Benjamin and nab the top back on most boards. The Panthers have a lot of holes and patch up with what they know best. Never change, My sweet Caroline-ah...

    026. Baltimore
    OT Ereck Flowers, Florida State
    - They could use a tackle, like most people I like both my QB and Flowers to be Erect.

    027. Dallas
    DT Eddie Goldman, Florida State
    - They like throwing money around, so they'll throw this pick to land some Gold...man... lame joke, lamer use of cap space.

    028. Atlanta (from Denver)
    TE Maxx Williams, Minnesota
    - It feels like Steven Jackson and Jonathan Stewart have both been in the league forever, fossils of another generation. Too bad there isn't another first round worthy back, or if there were any in the first place. Instead they'll grab TJ Yeldon in the third to reintroduce the power running game that they've wanted since the bowling ball Mike Turner lost his shine. Instead they draft a TE that grabs more headlines then Mickey Shuler and Kyle Miller.

    029. Indianapolis
    DT Jordan Phillips, Oklahoma
    - Wanting Beasley to fall to him, the Colts GM throws his hands in the air when it doesn't happen but looks to keep remaking his defensive line by adding the biggest body he can find. Youth and size make Phillips all the more attractive to the Colts as they've now clogged up the middle. Though it still does little fill that empty hole in the GM's heart for a Clemson player, he can always find a way to acquire Andre Branch.

    030. Green Bay
    WR/TE Devin Funchess, Michigan
    - The Packers want to avoid another special teams mishap, they've put every tight end on notice and add a big body to the receiving corp. Yes the Packers GM likes big tight ends and he can not lie. He also prays that Katy Perry plays the Superbowl again so he can be close to her on the biggest stage of them all, but will have to settle for Jessie J in a home game lost in the Divisional round, yes Packers fans it doesn't get as unappealing.

    031. Seattle
    DT Michael Bennett, Ohio State
    - They have a feeling if they play the Ravens again they need another way to confuse him John Harbaugh, who will immediately call out the Seahawks for underhanded tactics because that is something that has never been done before. They also hope that Bill Bililchek will get confused on which Bennett to try and get to come offsides.

    032. New England
    CB Al-Hajj Shabazz, West Chester
    - Yes he has a funny name. I've never heard of him, you've never heard of him and no one can tell you where West Chester is or if it's even a real university but here he is, shocking the rest of the NFL again.

    Ok, ok the Patriots new GM trumps Bill this time around and they actually draft Oregon corner Ifo Ekpe-Olomu who was slated to go much higher last year. In need of a number one/number two corner however some critics may see it. Ifo is a bit shorter but could surprise many at the next level. An intriguing prospect that isn't Carl Davis of Iowa, but that's what landing Leonard Williams will do to your draft board.

    Come back again as I possibly deliver my first official mock draft here in the 2015 offseason.
    Paul 13, Kingdom, UCF FINatic and 3 others like this.
  2. wakeupitsfootball

    wakeupitsfootball Master Pimp

    Feb 8, 2013
    My pick might surprise some people. I know who I'm taking if he's there at 13.
  3. Fin-Omenal

    Fin-Omenal Initiated

    Mar 25, 2008
    Thee...Ohio State University
    If Marriota is there at 5, I may have to rethink my strategy
  4. BuckeyeKing

    BuckeyeKing Wolves DYNASTY!!!!

    Dec 6, 2007
    Not sure if I can pass up Leonard Williams.
  5. schisno

    schisno Well-Known Member

    Jan 3, 2008
    I hope not, it's not like you're taking Dion Jordan at #3 as Miami's GM.
  6. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin RIP Phinsational Luxury Box Club Member

    Jul 6, 2012
    Colts are picking 6th & 17th. Get back to work.
  7. schisno

    schisno Well-Known Member

    Jan 3, 2008
    Tell the guy updating the draft order.
  8. GridIronKing34

    GridIronKing34 Silently Judging You Club Member

    Nov 22, 2007
    Denver, CO
    That trade doesn't process til the end of March, suck it.
    305 likes this.
  9. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin RIP Phinsational Luxury Box Club Member

    Jul 6, 2012
    no u
  10. Boik14

    Boik14 Admin Club Member Retired Administrator

    Nov 28, 2007
    New York
    Why do I need a Tackle again? Wagner rated 3rd among RT on PFF and 15th overall. Monroe'r run blocking numbers are meh but he only gave up 3 sacks all year. Sorry, unless a lot changes it wont be a tackle. Not even among the top 5 needs for my team imo and hes not the best player available at that point.
  11. UCF FINatic

    UCF FINatic The Miami Dolphins select

    Apr 17, 2008
    Jonathan Stewart is only 27 lol. I'll give you TE is a need but that 4.78 40 hurt Maxx today.
  12. BuckeyeKing

    BuckeyeKing Wolves DYNASTY!!!!

    Dec 6, 2007
    10 yard split was near the top so it didn't affect him all that much. No one pegged him as a vertical threat before the combine.
  13. Kingdom

    Kingdom Coming back disassembled.

    Jun 25, 2012
    I like the reasoning behind drafting another Michael Bennett. :notbad:
  14. Paul 13

    Paul 13 Chaotic Neutral & Unstable Genius Staff Member

    Dec 3, 2007
    again with the fun chest...
  15. Kingdom

    Kingdom Coming back disassembled.

    Jun 25, 2012
    Pics or nah
  16. VanDolPhan

    VanDolPhan Club member Club Member

    Nov 26, 2007
    Hamilton, Ontario Canada
    So so wrong again schisno. Not that I don't mind Goldman but I'm sticking with Dial. Think that kid wins the San Fran job this year and does well.
  17. LeroyBoss

    LeroyBoss New Member

    Jan 3, 2015
    "Infatuation with Jimmy G" haha, I just want a QB that may have half of a human brain
  18. Alex44

    Alex44 Boshosaurus Rex

    Jan 7, 2008
    Hollywood, Florida
    A wrench was thrown into this mock last night.
  19. vt_dolfan

    vt_dolfan Season Ticket Holder Club Member

    lol...u mean it got blown the f up
  20. Silverphin

    Silverphin Well-Known Member

    Nov 25, 2007
    I of course had nothing to do with it. :shifty:

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