My family's story.

Wow brother, my heart and prayers go out to you.
Please find solice here, you are surrounded by the best virtual family on the net.

Az

EDIT: If you ever need to talk, or have any questions about the site, please feel free to ask.

Also, it mentions that your dad worked for the phins at one point :up: nothing wrong with that at all

Very good to have you. You have just ventured upon a new family :yes:

Thank you very much. I really feel welcome here, unlike other sites.

This is a song that I think says it all basically.

Hatebreed "Unloved"

When it all ended there was nowhere to turn. I hid inside myself hoping someone would find me. That day never came. As the years passed the pain lessened. I thought your voice was silenced forever. I was wrong. This time there's no turning back. Emerge from a doorway at the end of a war inside my soul. There's no picking up where we left off and there will not be a future. I've died so many times inside. I've accepted this pain. And I can't look back now. I never will. You don't know. You don't care .You never have and you never will. You made me realize everything I've ever known of love was pain.
And the person you once were has died and rotted away. I've lived with this knife in my heart. As a reminder of what I can't be. All I know how to do is hate you. There is nothing you can ever say or do. You don't know.You don't care. You never have and you never will. You were never part of my life and you never will be. Unloved. I was born unloved.

Welcome Brian.
Your family story is heart wrenching, but so much love from your dad.
I'm glad you joined our family here, you'll really love it.
All here are good people and are always willing to help in any way they can.
So, relax and enjoy the best site anywhere, bar none.:up:

"dolphindebby wrote:

Welcome Brian.
Your family story is heart wrenching, but so much love from your dad.
I'm glad you joined our family here, you'll really love it.
All here are good people and are always willing to help in any way they can.
So, relax and enjoy the best site anywhere, bar none.:up:

Thanks for the warm welcome and the support. I need all the help I can get right now. I seriously feel like I am losing my mind.

Brian. i am the oldest of 4 children, and have a 20 month old son. please know i feel so much pain for your losses, and has hit home with me. i could not imagine what you have gone through in your life, and continue to go through. i will pray and send good thoughts to you and your family. i am so glad you joined us on this site.....we are all like family here.....if you need anything. private message me here, or email me [email protected]

my name is chris. and its a absolute pleasure to meet you bro. stay strong.....and we will all try to help you if you need anything at all.

welcome to thephins btw.....go dolphins! hope they finish this season strong. and congrats on graduating from nova!!!!

p.s.- why would someone be stalking you? if you dont mind me asking...

"SICK wrote:

Brian. i am the oldest of 4 children, and have a 20 month old son. please know i feel so much pain for your losses, and has hit home with me. i could not imagine what you have gone through in your life, and continue to go through. i will pray and send good thoughts to you and your family. i am so glad you joined us on this site.....we are all like family here.....if you need anything. private message me here, or email me [email protected]

my name is chris. and its a absolute pleasure to meet you bro. stay strong.....and we will all try to help you if you need anything at all.

welcome to thephins btw.....go dolphins! hope they finish this season strong. and congrats on graduating from nova!!!!

p.s.- why would someone be stalking you? if you dont mind me asking...

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers Chris. It means a lot to me. I feel like the Dolphins are part of my family. My brothers were as big of a fan as I am, and we all watched the games every Sunday. One of my favorite memories of my brother Casey is when we went to the 2000 Monday Night Miracle game against the Jets. My dad was able to get us tickets through a connection he had, and we ended up sitting next to Oronde Gadsdens cousins! We talked with them for most of the game. When all the Jets fans started leaving the stadium because the score was 30-7?, we went down to the lower level. It seemed like moving away from Oronde's cousins was like a bad omen for the team. Anyway, after the game we drove home and I honestly don't think one word was spoken. It was a painful game to witness, but a special memory that I will always hold in my heart.

Thanks for sharing. Hopefully you will live the life they should have. Your dad shared a touching story. Thank you.

Good luck and welcome aboard. This is a different place where people treat each other with respect and affection. It is a good place to be.

Thanks Chaplain. You are a man of few words it seems.

"Jeffrey wrote:

Thanks Chaplain. You are a man of few words it seems.

Pastor Keith is one of the greatest men on this site brother.:up: I think the post you left in the suicide thread could of been better in support. Pastor Keith really puts a lot of time and effort into helping the family here. He is a awesome person to turn to, should you need that in your life. Prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. Sorry for your loss.

"Fin Fan In Cali wrote:

Pastor Keith is one of the greatest men on this site brother.:up: I think the post you left in the suicide thread could of been better in support. Pastor Keith really puts a lot of time and effort into helping the family here. He is a awesome person to turn to, should you need that in your life. Prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. Sorry for your loss.

I don't know what post you are referring to. I just thought it was odd that the Chaplain didn't acknowledge what my post was about. That's all.

"Jeffrey wrote:

Thanks Chaplain. You are a man of few words it seems.

"Jeffrey wrote:

I don't know what post you are referring to. I just thought it was odd that the Chaplain didn't acknowledge what my post was about. That's all.

Fair enough.

I am not sure what I could or should say. The story in the paper is intense and defies an easy "answer". Besides, I didn't see a "question" to respond to so I didn't

Please know though, from the first moment I read it, I added you and your family to my prayers. The situation is tragic. I have no idea what emotions are running through you at this point? Anger, grief, depression, denial, ..... All require differant answers at differant times.

We will be here if and when you wish to process any or all of them.

Any negative emotion you can possibly think of. You name it........thats what I'm going through. And I just spoke with my brother Dave's friend Jack yesterday for the first time in years. He told me what really happened to Dave in NYC that night on May 25, 1997. The story that was given to us by his "friends" was not true.

Here is the real story. My brother Dave drank a bottle of overproof rum that he had just won on a bet. He made a bet with his boss (who was a Knicks fan) that the Heat would beat the Knicks in the 97 playoffs. The Knicks took a 3-1 game lead, and then Miami came back to win the series in 7 games. My brother chose overproof rum. Anyway, he and his friend finished the bottle and then went down to NYC. The story that we were given is that he went into the bathroom with some people he had just met, came back to the bar and said he had "just done some stuff" and collapsed. This is what really happened. Dave took a shot of heroin and immediately fell out. His "friends" proceeded to leave him on the sidewalk in a bad part of town in NYC. They left him there to die. Dave's wallet was stolen and he had a gash on his forehead, as if someone hit him. They just left him on the sidewalk and continued partying. This happened around midnight. My brother didn't get brought to the hospital until 5:30 am. It was too late.

Just when you thought the story couldn't get any worse................

I am very, very sorry for the loss to you and your family!

The rest of our talk can continue in our pm exchange.

I've been going over and over what happened in my head. Words cannot describe how I feel when I think about my brother being abandoned on the side of the road and left to die. I think about all of the people who must have seen my brother in need of help, but decided to just keep walking. Or the person(s) who did stop, but proceeded to take my brothers wallet and check his pockets for anything else of value.

Brian, what you have gone through is not something many people could make it through without losing the ability to see the world clearly and objectively. Going through what you went through at that age has to be difficult to live with everyday but be an example of strength because one day your story will impact someone else and show it is possible to get through these things and live a happy, successful life.

I live through this every day as well. The first time I ever really went away was when I was 20 and had just finished community college. I was working in a sleep-away camp that summer to make a little extra dough before going away to school. My best friend died that summer on a wave runner. Had I been home he probably never would have been on the wave runner since I was usually to busy beating him in a game of hoops or some video game (usually NHL Hockey) and never really liked wave runners. Sometimes things happen outside of our control. Its easy to ask "what if" or to contemplate taking the easy way out of situations but it isnt the solution to anything from my own experience. The solution is to live everyday and to let the people you love know that youre there for them too. Myself and my friends started a charity for him and gave money to help our local high school students who had grades but not funds for college. Honor your brothers and stay strong bro :)

your story breaks my heart. i admire that you and your parents have the strength to merely function and carry on. as a father and a brother, i cant fathom the pain and loss. i wish you the best at finding your pockets of happiness, pushing forward, and celebrating your own life in honor of your brothers. its what they would have wanted im sure.
i will have your story in my head for quite some time, and i take your father's "get a grip" message to heart, as my kid(s) grow older.

and welcome to the site. it usually isnt this crazy here, but its Jest week.

I'm losing it.

"Jeffrey wrote:

I'm losing it.

hang in there brother.

hang in there bro. ull make it through.

You sure about that?

"Jeffrey wrote:

You sure about that?

yup uve made it this far.

Far is relative.