Kellen Winslow apparently caught holding something other than a defensive player
19 replies
PhinGeneralsubscriberOPApparently he went looking for a Boston Market and couldn't find it, so he decided to choke his own chicken instead:
When Jets tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. was arrested for possession of synthetic marijuana outside a Target in East Hanover back in November, police were called to the scene because a woman thought she saw him masturbating in his vehicle in the parking lot, according to court documents.
The redacted incident report from East Hanover police shows that on Nov. 19 at 5:30 p.m., cops responded to a call from a woman who said she had parked her vehicle in a spot to the right of a black Cadillac Escalade outside the Target along Route 10. A man was sitting inside the Escalade with the window open, said the woman, whose name was redacted in the incident report. That man would later be identified as Winslow, 30, who lives in Madison.
From the report:
As she exited her vehicle, she commented to the male regarding how cold it was. As she stood near the open driver side window of the Escalade, she observed the males erect penis. She stated that she believed he was masturbating. provided a written statement regarding her account.
By the time police arrived, an officer found Winslow allegedly "slouched in his seat and moving around." Winslow sprang to an upright position when the officer arrived. When the cop asked Winslow what he was doing, Winslow allegedly said he was looking for Boston Market but was lost.
SICKforum_veteranHes shooting off like a soldier.....a ****ing soldier!!!!
Co-Host of the Welcome to Perfectville Podcast
Paganforum_veteran"Rocky Raccoon wrote:
Ahh the Jets. The gift that keeps on giving.
You "beat" me to it...
".. hell you even have a fireman who rubs his balls on another mans head for three hours a week.. show some class, don't make fun of us poor Dolphins fans. :shifty:" ~ cnc66
"There is no sweeter nectar, than the misery riddled tears of Jets fans." ~ Finascious D
Rocky Raccoonmoderator"Pagan wrote:
You "beat" me to it...
Aww, now I feel like a jerk. Sorry man.
Alex44New MemberHow could something like this fappin?
On the draft Quentin Rollins bandwagon.
MikeHonchosubscriberCommented about how cold it was... Like a frightened turtle.
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Headcoach material wouldn’t want to work somewhere they’re not trusted with actual football decisions.
MikeHonchosubscriberMuch potential in this thread there is.
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Headcoach material wouldn’t want to work somewhere they’re not trusted with actual football decisions.
VanDolPhansubscriberFlag on the Play:
-10 yards for holding
-5 yards for illegal motion
-10 yards illegal use of hands
-5 yards Neutral zone infraction
-15 yards/First Down. Spearing
-5 yards. Ineligible receiver "downfield"
-5 yards/First Down. Illegal contact
Colorado DolfanNew MemberI always heard he had good hands...
Get dirty, get bloody, get sweaty...
...get happy.
-Cam Wake
unluckylucianoNew Memberyeah I bet he was really masturbating in public amirite?
thanks to VO for the sick ass sigs. 
Charlie: If you're not as educated or as informed what you do is you start your own party and you yell the loudest.
Colorado DolfanNew Member"unluckyluciano wrote:
yeah I bet he was really masturbating in public amirite?
He may not be a great fisherman, but...
Get dirty, get bloody, get sweaty...
...get happy.
-Cam Wake
ToddPhinluxury_boxAs she exited her vehicle, she commented to the male regarding how cold it was. As she stood near the open driver side window of the Escalade, she observed the males erect penis. She stated that she believed he was masturbating.
What woman stands next to the open window of an Escalade with a large strange black man inside and proceeds to make small talk with him, after dark no less? Doesn't add up.
Starry31forum_veteranYou're hungry, you want to taste some delicious Boston Market but can't find one and you begin to get frustrated, so you park your Escalade in a parking lot and take a load off; is that really such a bad thing?
BicketyBamforum_veteranMore embarrassment ensued when he was told the big black woman he thought he was whacking it to was actually a picture of Jonathan Martin.
-Ed-
Colorado DolfanNew Member"phinsational wrote:
What woman stands next to the open window of an Escalade with a large strange black man inside and proceeds to make small talk with him, after dark no less? Doesn't add up.
That's a regular Thursday night for some people.
Uh... ...or so I've heard...
Hey! Have you heard how easy maynard is?
Get dirty, get bloody, get sweaty...
...get happy.
-Cam Wake
Colorado DolfanNew Member"BicketyBam wrote:
More embarrassment ensued when he was told the big black woman he thought he was whacking it to was actually a picture of Jonathan Martin.
At least he was beating it to a *****...
:shifty:
Get dirty, get bloody, get sweaty...
...get happy.
-Cam Wake
Vertical Limitforum_veteranYeah story doesn't add up but what ever.
invidsubscriber"phinsational wrote:
What woman stands next to the open window of an Escalade with a large strange black man inside and proceeds to make small talk with him, after dark no less? Doesn't add up.
Woman : "It's cold out here!", to a random guy through his rolled up car window.
Winslow : "Oh.. Ah.. Ssss.. Yeah.. No.. Yeah.. Oh **** yeah.. ****...... Sss.. YEAH!"
A glooping sound is made as he dips his fingers for another round of Vaseline.
Woman : "Dude.. Are you masterbating right now?! I'm not going to walk away and instead call the cops in case any other stranger decides to comment on the weather through your rolled up car window! Creep!"
Boston Market never had good food.