On top of Old Smokey all covered with dick, Sick looked for the black ones that were veiny and thick. He hoped to find Big Bry's, but his is half white. His oreo wiener is no where in sight. So Sick grabbed a handful, one by one shoved them in. When none fully filled him, He then called Toddphin.
Yayyy! I love playing "where did I leave my pants?". I think they're under the bed.... all the way under it.
I'm left handed but can only rub one out with my right... and can't wear a watch on my left hand either. Wonder if that's a baseball thing. from using a glove for so long.
Perfectly plausible explanation for why Todd's neighbors always have a pregnant dog and empty garbage cans.
Dear Lord in Heaven please help me. I started to understand the language of the little Deliverance boy in those FRAMLY commercials during the NBA Finals. Please forgive me for starting to become a pig-****er. From now on I promise to mute those commercials.
Okay so I'm watching NFLN's Top 100 and Kyle Williams gets the call in the 30's, deservingly so and long overdue for making the list. ........ and thennnnn I hear him talk. Sounds like he should be cutting hair for Vidal Sassoon if you know whut I'm sayin.
The vent in my bathrooms...they are not for odor control. Blowing up my bathrooms are the only form of abuse I can dole out on my family. The vents are to drown out all the gods damned noise beyond those hallowed walls.
So I was on a plane heading back from Nashville to Raleigh a few weeks ago and this smoking hot Thai chick comes walking down the isle. I am sitting there in my seat and just hoping she sits next to me and whaddya know, she plops that sweet Asian *** down right next to me. The whole time I am checking her out and saying to myself, "please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection." And wouldn't you know it... She did.
Was wondering who it is that keeps calling my massage parlor and hanging up. Sent from my LG-MS770 using Tapatalk
That explains the seemingly derogatory "suckie five dollah"at the other end. Usually it's the other way around. Sent from my LG-MS770 using Tapatalk
my obama phone doesnt have long distance, it was a financial choice. dont beat yourself up. it wasnt you, it was me.
You just have to mention Al Qaeda in a phone conversation and magically long distance/international calls are comped on your plan. Sent from my LG-MS770 using Tapatalk
I've heard if the mouth is covered before they can shout STOP then it technically only qualifies as rough sex.
Any of you 35+ year olds experienced this with porn as well? Okay so lately I've found myself returning full circle back to my roots and watching solo girl stuff. Only difference is now it's a preference, whereas back then I had no alternative- it was either SI Swimsuit, Frederick's of Hollywood, or bravely ordering Adam & Eve and hoping I caught it in the mail before my mother did. Have I grown soooo tired of the crazy stuff that plain ole solo is now what seems out of the ordinary and thus more preferred?...... or is simply b/c stuff like this softcore clip of the skinny but huge-hootered Ewa Sonnett dousing herself with a bottle of baby oil and sliding around on a tile floor is wiener kryptonite?.... or is it a combo of both? Obviously this is NSFW and NSFM [not safe for marriage]. http://xhamster.com/movies/837906/solo.html
decent inexpensive bourbon [like 1792] and Virgil's Cream Soda. double yeah. yum yum dim sum. Tastes like it's a singular drink fermented that way rather than two distinct beverages mixed together. For Nabo- it's as layered, complex, balanced, and strong on the finish as an outstanding Belgian Quad. I'd put it's overall appeal in that sense against a 92 point, fifty dollar bottle of wine. Hand me both and I'm not sure which I'd take.... but I'd probably go with the bourbon concoction b/c not only would it taste as savory but it'll last longer at 40%.
