Ever take a dump at work so big that you try and flush it 5 times but there's still that one floater that REFUSES to be flushed and the next co-worker that uses said toilet complains that you didn't flush properly?
He's one of our VP's, so that is out (although I considered it). I tried to turn it into a work issue and complained that the toilets were not up to OSHA standards.
Buy some of that plastic doggy doo and put it all over the floor in the men's room, make sure to spritz it with water first to give it that 'fresh' look. Then relax and wait for the hilarity.
@ osha getting **** done. it's so true. you pull OSHA on wherever you work and everyone springs to action. they are the hero's of the blue collar work world.
That would work! He is always trying to scare the Mexican girls in our factory with fake insects, so he'd appreciate the humor.
Yeah, the other day he had a plastic frog hidden in a manilla file folder. He kept going up to the girls and saying "I have something I need you to look over" then BAM! Plastic frog! I must have heard the phrase "Ay Dios Mio!" at least 50 times.
I scared the living **** out of my wife with a plastic palmetto bug. I 'caught' it and threw it in my mouth, she proceeded to gag......in spanish.
MLB can go **** themselves. They are a corrupt organization who just whored themselves to our main competitor for exclusive rights to their team logos. From this day forward, I refuse to buy any item that Major League Baseball makes a dime off of. I encourage all of you to do the same. Good day Sirs.
wellll, I found them at toys r us.. I did it at the supper table, snuck it onto the table hidden behind my plate .. at the proper no one paying attention moment I flicked it with a finger and it shot unto view.. I reached out and slammed it with the flat of my hand.. (this is entirely believable because I really do do that..spiders, roaches, they ain't gettin away while I look for something civilized) grabbed it, threw it into my mouth grabbed my ice tea and acted like I was swallowing it with tea... the table erupted... Christmas stockings.. Cathy got on me for the supper table thing, so it was hers. A whole family of them.
You are a sick ticket, my friend. Similar situation with me, only kitchen counter and a Corona. And nothing better than the open hand, slightly cupped to smack a real palmetto bug, flips em over, stunned, without the white guts erupting out.
Random thought: Your sig reminds me of Uncle Phil in the episode of Fresh Prince when he's campaigning and Will takes a video of him, repeats the parts where he says "take a bite right out of crime!"
I used a mayo packet to put some in my palm.. set up the bug flick and then smacked the plastic roach,.., I played it out.. lifted my hand slowly looking under to see if the bug was still moving, "oh look, roach pudding" then picked it up and ate it.. licked my fingers... did that to Cathy's very annoying best friend and her husband... they were gagging in Yiddish they had a pot bellied pig.. and they are Jewish too, go figure.. well, they went away for a week and Cathy had to feed the pig.. I went to laugh at Cathy being bullied by the pig and offer moral support.. we walked in and the pig had his front hooves inside the refrigerator trying to get stuff off the top shelf, food and broken pickles beets, salad dressing and such were EVERYWHERE.. Cathy bribed the pig into the bedroom and started cleaning up. I went into the bedroom with a sharpie and laid out butcher cuts on the pig.. ribs, hams, feet, steaks backstrap etc.. terrible mistake to not get pictures of the whole thing.. the mess was epic. I made Cathy hire someone to clean it up. They got rid of the pig... offered it free to a "good" home.. two Okeechobee boys in a pickup with a dog box in the back picked it up.. "my family will love it" he said.. I laughed till I cried.. yea Kim.. they'll love him good.. with barbeque sauce and beer.
It is an unspoken rule, while living with pigs, that you never let them see where the food comes from, unless its out of reach. We never, ever, let them see us pull something out of the fridge or cupboard then feed it to them. If you do, they'll figure it out and wait till your gone or not paying attention and do what that one did. When you think about it, it really is a testament to their intelligence.
I just lost the MLB 09: The Show Road to the Show game save file I had been working on for about four weeks. F my life.
