Not too sure if I can add much to this discussion, but I have also been down that road Sick. However I did not come out on the other side with my faith restored. Only bit of advice I can give you is that for the time being, just concentrate on your actions and what you can control. Live up to the ethical and moral standards that you have developed from your own personel perspective of life. At least when it comes to your time of judgement, you do it with a clear conscience and according to Christian teaching conscience is a very powerful thing. When you act on your conscience (if you believe in the Christian interpretation of conscience) you are bascially following the advice of God. Romans 2:14-15 When Gentiles who have not the law do by nature what the law requires, they are a law unto themselves, even though they do not have the law. They show that what the law requires is written on their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness and their conflicting thoughts accuse or perhaps excuse them. Sick, someday Christianity may "click" with you, but it also may not. It's tough not having a sense of belonging, which is something you get from organised religion, but if you do not have the level of faith required or belief in what the religion teaches then you are better off finding something that makes sense to you. Only time will tell dude, but I wish you well with your soul searching.
