Girl trouble

"unluckyluciano wrote:

just pay the tip on your twos date tonight.

Tips??????

You get tips????

Sonofabitch. I knew I needed a pimp.

If you have trouble finding the words to tell her rbt just sing her this song:

YouTube - dmx-what these bitches want

tape it, then post on thephins.

"unluckyluciano wrote:

Yeah man don't worry about finding another girl, you will. Don't worry about moving on because you will eventually. It will suck and be hard, but you can do it. Any girl worth it wouldn't have to make a decision if they want you or not. She has mental problems it sounds like and if you want to talk to her about it and say hey I think you need counseling then do so, but after that you are done. You can't save everyone mang and you are to young to try.

I know this is wrong to put this on myself, but I feel like i got to save her. I feel like if i am not there then something bad will happen. If it is right or not I feel like I got to stand up for her. I feel like if I dont something bad is going to happen

"RonnieBrownTown wrote:

I know this is wrong to put this on myself, but I feel like i got to save her. I feel like if i am not there then something bad will happen. If it is right or not I feel like I got to stand up for her. I feel like if I dont something bad is going to happen

I'll say again, you have done something. If she doesn't get help, then your happiness is not worthy sacrifice.

"Finascious D wrote:

I'll say again, you have done something. If she doesn't get help, then your happiness is not worthy sacrifice.

But I feel like if I say cya then everything I have done has done nothing.

Tell me if this could be right. What if she is keeping him on the back burner in care i say cya? She is so scared of me leaving for some reason when I never even had threatened that I would leave.

I mean even if that is what she is thinking it still isnt ok but I am just curious maybe that is what she is thinking.

"RonnieBrownTown wrote:

But I feel like if I say cya then everything I have done has done nothing.

Tell me if this could be right. What if she is keeping him on the back burner in care i say cya? She is so scared of me leaving for some reason when I never even had threatened that I would leave.

I mean even if that is what she is thinking it still isnt ok but I am just curious maybe that is what she is thinking.

And if you DON'T say cya and she ends up sleeping with this idiot (which she will...trust me, I've been in enough relationships to know that "I still have feelings for..." really means "I wanna sleep with..." or "I'm already sleeping with....") everything you've done will make you turn into that lollipop in the Bugs Bunny cartoons with "sucker" written across it.

Get our while you still have your dignity. Like FinD said, mind and heart have to be together. Yours aren't.

In times like that it's usually the mind that gives the best solution.

knock the bottom out one last time. try anything youve been wanting to try with her, then consider calling it quits.

1. she is texting her old boyfriend
2. she doesnt care enough to hide the fact that she is texting her old boyfriend(does not respect you or fear any consequence)
3. she flat out told you she is feeling something for him
4. she is only denying that now because she realises it was a stupid thing to say. she felt it enough to actually say it to the guy she is dating now (you)
5. girls like ass holes, not nice guys. especially young stupid chicks which she sounds like.

i honestly think you need to move on man. find some hot chick your girlfriend knows about or any chick she hates and start digging in that hole. once her ex becomes the jerk he has always been, she will HATE seeing you with some girl she doesnt like and thinking about you treating that girl how you used to treat her.

your young, you two probably wont stick together forever if you end up together at all. you have to realise that now and be able to accept it. at the very least you need to demand she stop talking to this guy or you will walk. and i think you said he works with you, you need to make him stop talking to her.

"eric wrote:

knock the bottom out one last time. try anything youve been wanting to try with her, then consider calling it quits.

1. she is texting her old boyfriend
2. she doesnt care enough to hide the fact that she is texting her old boyfriend(does not respect you or fear any consequence)
3. she flat out told you she is feeling something for him
4. she is only denying that now because she realises it was a stupid thing to say. she felt it enough to actually say it to the guy she is dating now (you)
5. girls like ass holes, not nice guys. especially young stupid chicks which she sounds like.

i honestly think you need to move on man. find some hot chick your girlfriend knows about or any chick she hates and start digging in that hole. once her ex becomes the jerk he has always been, she will HATE seeing you with some girl she doesnt like and thinking about you treating that girl how you used to treat her.

your young, you two probably wont stick together forever if you end up together at all. you have to realise that now and be able to accept it. at the very least you need to demand she stop talking to this guy or you will walk. and i think you said he works with you, you need to make him stop talking to her.

Do i ask to see the convo between her and him?

I mean i am seeing her tonight no matter what so what do I do?

1.Do I tell her how I feel about the situation and hopes she figures it out to stop talking to him .
2.Do I tell her to stop talking to him or else i walk? I feel like if I say that she will be like ok I will stop and then she will talk to him behind my back.
3.Do I tell her how I feel about this and then say you need to stop talking to him?

I feel like if I do number 3 and leave her with the choice then i feel like we are either going to sink or swim. I guess we will find out. But I dont know if I should trow it up to chance. I mean I guess I have to at the end of the day if we are going to last.

I just dont understand the kid was a GRADE A d!ck to her and I basically treat her like a queen and I get spit in my face.

ASK to see the conversation? you have to ask? she hasnt offered to show it to you already? i think you trust this girl alot more then you should.

my girlfriend plays with my phone all the time. i can pick up her phone at any time and look through it. weve been together 3 years. i think you said you only been with this girl 6 months though.

ive been through a similar situation with her twice before where other guys were chasing her. I told her to go ahead and leave and that she would never see or speak to me again. i wasnt going to compete for her. if it wasnt only me, I was OUT. she's still around.

"RonnieBrownTown wrote:

Do i ask to see the convo between her and him?

I mean i am seeing her tonight no matter what so what do I do?

1.Do I tell her how I feel about the situation and hopes she figures it out to stop talking to him .
2.Do I tell her to stop talking to him or else i walk? I feel like if I say that she will be like ok I will stop and then she will talk to him behind my back.
3.Do I tell her how I feel about this and then say you need to stop talking to him?

I feel like if I do number 3 and leave her with the choice then i feel like we are either going to sink or swim. I guess we will find out. But I dont know if I should trow it up to chance. I mean I guess I have to at the end of the day if we are going to last.

I just dont understand the kid was a GRADE A d!ck to her and I basically treat her like a queen and I get spit in my face.

1) Don't try to understand why she wants to go back to him, you'll never understand that. Trust me I've been there.
2) Don't hinge what you are going to do on if she will or won't stop talking to him. You need to decide if even if she stops talking to him, you can trust her to not do this again.
3) My dad gave me some great advice once: "Don't ask questions you know you won't like the answer to". Think about that before you ask to see her conversations with the guy.

"RonnieBrownTown wrote:

Im not going to tell her to her who she can talk to and who she cant talk to her im not her mom. But maybe I should start telling her not to talk to him.

Dude its a respect issue. You arent her dad but you HAVE to have rules for her.

"SICK wrote:

thats the problem, you shouldnt have to tell her that. she shouldnt do it out of respect for you, her current boyfriend. If she doesnt respect you enough to do that for you, even with you treating her so well....how can you see it getting any better?

Yeh this.

"RonnieBrownTown wrote:

I mean should I ask her to stop talking to him or should i just end it? Should I give her the choice either him or me?

Bro listen to what I am telling you. I chose to give a girl another chance after she screwed me over and was doing questionable things. I am now stuck in a relationship I am not happy in. Dont be like me man. Get out while you can. I use to have morals and would not settle for anything less than the best for myself, you deserve better bro.

"Pagan wrote:

Bro...all I can tell you is been there, done that, still have the scars.

You've been through hell with her, you've helped her, you've loved her....yet she still has feelings for an asshat.

Cut your losses and run like your dick was on fire.

Listen to us bro, we know what we are talking about. Being alone sucks, but being in a bad relationship sucks worse.

"eric wrote:

ASK to see the conversation? you have to ask? she hasnt offered to show it to you already? i think you trust this girl alot more then you should.

my girlfriend plays with my phone all the time. i can pick up her phone at any time and look through it. weve been together 3 years. i think you said you only been with this girl 6 months though.

ive been through a similar situation with her twice before where other guys were chasing her. I told her to go ahead and leave and that she would never see or speak to me again. i wasnt going to compete for her. if it wasnt only me, I was OUT. she's still around.

She has never told me I couldnt go through her phone. I just have no interest. My whole stance since we started the relationship was that if you think there is somebody else out there that will make you happier then I can make you then please go ahead and try and find him.

I treat her better then I treat myself or anyone else.

"RonnieBrownTown wrote:

Im not going to tell her to her who she can talk to and who she cant talk to her im not her mom. But maybe I should start telling her not to talk to him.

Uh yes you can, and yes you should. I understand friends but ex boyfriends is a whole nother story

"Nappy Roots wrote:

Uh yes you can, and yes you should. I understand friends but ex boyfriends is a whole nother story

Yea, I am talking to her tonight and I guess we will see what is going to happen.

See the thing was that i am afraid to lose her and these past 6 months have been great. But to get that message last night

I love you,

But I might have some feelings coming back for Kevin.

That killed me inside. I dont cry at all but when I read that after I give her EVERYTHING I GOT and I read that I just broke down. So I am giving her the choice tonight me or him and that is that I guess now I ma not going to lie I feel that way now but when I see her tonight am I going to be man enough to still do that?

"RonnieBrownTown wrote:

Yea, I am talking to her tonight and I guess we will see what is going to happen.

See the thing was that i am afraid to lose her and these past 6 months have been great. But to get that message last night

That killed me inside. I dont cry at all but when I read that after I give her EVERYTHING I GOT and I read that I just broke down. So I am giving her the choice tonight me or him and that is that I guess now I ma not going to lie I feel that way now but when I see her tonight am I going to be man enough to still do that?

I definitly understand what your going through, when you think you love this girl and something like that happens. It's very very tough to deal with, but what you also have to think about, is how she feels towards you. A text like that shows a lot. She would never subject you or have feelings for anyone else if she was truly in love with you or/and cared for you.

That's a very immature thing to do, and don't go one believeing shes the only one for you, because she's not. Your better off moving on after this. How could you trust her moving forward? She doesn't respect you in the least or else she never would of done such a thing, you should never have to ASK a gf to not talk to a former bf

im so hurt I really dont know what to do or where to go.

I have nearly 40 years on you so my "advice and counsel" may be hopelessly outdated.

What others have said in this thread regarding respect coming before or with love is absolutely correct. It has to be there.

I would add that openess and forgiveness need to be there as well.

When I was 19 I fell in love with a girl (she was 21) who had dated someone else a couple of years earlier. He was scum. He was abusive and violent, had caused her father to pull a gun and order him out of the house, etc. He had left town one step ahead of the police.

He returned, with a different girl and while girl number two was standing there asked my girl to let him back into her life. I stood aside confident that my good treatment would be enough and instead she steps into his arms and kisses him! I was devastated and walked away. Two days later she came to me and apologized over and over again. She told me she would never again take my love for granted and treat me disrespectfully. I considered showing her the door and did ask for a day to think it over. She agreed but begged me to forgive her. The next day I told her we would act as if this never happened and move forward. Until she died from cancer six years ago she never once disrespected me again. Forgiveness worked!

I don't know where your situation is. I do know that I don't want always to be judged by the stupidest thing I have ever done. Maybe your girl doesn't either.

I am not sure I would worry about what you have to say. It seems the ball is in her court to speak. If her words are not of committment and respect then she has answered your questions for you. If she is willing to cut things off and be faithful to you in word and action then you have to decide if she is trustworthy.

I wish you the best!

"Ohiophinphan wrote:

I have nearly 40 years on you so my "advice and counsel" may be hopelessly outdated.

What others have said in this thread regarding respect coming before or with love is absolutely correct. It has to be there.

I would add that openess and forgiveness need to be there as well.

When I was 19 I fell in love with a girl (she was 21) who had dated someone else a couple of years earlier. He was scum. He was abusive and violent, had caused her father to pull a gun and order him out of the house, etc. He had left town one step ahead of the police.

He returned, with a different girl and while girl number two was standing there asked my girl to let him back into her life. I stood aside confident that my good treatment would be enough and instead she steps into his arms and kisses him! I was devastated and walked away. Two days later she came to me and apologized over and over again. She told me she would never again take my love for granted and treat me disrespectfully. I considered showing her the door and did ask for a day to think it over. She agreed but begged me to forgive her. The next day I told her we would act as if this never happened and move forward. Until she died from cancer six years ago she never once disrespected me again. Forgiveness worked!

I don't know where your situation is. I do know that I don't want always to be judged by the stupidest thing I have ever done. Maybe your girl doesn't either.

I am not sure I would worry about what you have to say. It seems the ball is in her court to speak. If her words are not of committment and respect then she has answered your questions for you. If she is willing to cut things off and be faithful to you in word and action then you have to decide if she is trustworthy.

I wish you the best!

Thank you sir.

"RonnieBrownTown wrote:

Yea, I am talking to her tonight and I guess we will see what is going to happen.

See the thing was that i am afraid to lose her and these past 6 months have been great. But to get that message last night

That killed me inside. I dont cry at all but when I read that after I give her EVERYTHING I GOT and I read that I just broke down. So I am giving her the choice tonight me or him and that is that I guess now I ma not going to lie I feel that way now but when I see her tonight am I going to be man enough to still do that?

Just make sure you aren't telling her that she cannot see him. Tell her that you don't want to be with somebody that doesn't put you first. Ask her if she is that person. Let her know that if she isn’t it sucks, but that’s what you need. She should be honest with you and herself though. It's a small but important difference. Don’t tell her do something and don’t try to control her. It will just lead to resentment. Also, if you don't trust her, move on. No trust, no chance.

Let her go if she really can't choose between you two. Doesn't really sound like she's worth your time or effort.

Thanks,
Kevin

"unluckyluciano wrote:

just pay the tip on your twos date tonight.

Just the tip.

"slickj101 wrote:

Just the tip.

That's what she said?

Seriously though, that **** always sucks and I'd say it happens to a lot of people.

For one, if you tell her she can't talk to him it'll only bite you in the ass. You'll either drive her right to him or "telling her she can't talk to people" will prob be brought up by her in a later argument.

I'd just tell her to make her choice and if it's something she really struggles with then it more than likely means you should just get out now or keep it casual.

"Two Tacos wrote:

That's what she said?

"RonnieBrownTown wrote:

I know this is wrong to put this on myself, but I feel like i got to save her. I feel like if i am not there then something bad will happen. If it is right or not I feel like I got to stand up for her. I feel like if I dont something bad is going to happen

You can't save her. You cannot save anyone. People can only save themselves. You can help someone of course, however that is only if they want to change.

Most times when you try to save someone you will be pulled down with them and they will blame you for their problems.