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English will be the official language of the European Union

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Pagan, Jul 15, 2009.

  1. Pagan

    Pagan Metal & a Mustang

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    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

    As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

    The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, zay vil al be speking korekt English und not German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
     
    Sethdaddy8, gunn34, SICK and 14 others like this.
  2. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    :lol:
     
  3. TrueDolFan

    TrueDolFan Minion of Satan

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    Das ist gut!
     
  4. The Arbiter

    The Arbiter Mrs. Stitches

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    Most people in the United States spell that badly... they can go to Europe and feel right at home!
     
    gunn34 likes this.
  5. CrunchTime

    CrunchTime Administrator Retired Administrator

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    This is great news for those who have trouble spelling .The spelling cops will have to be on their toes to admonish the bad spellers.

    BTW this may lead to making English language the official language in the USA too.:wink2:
     
    SICK, DOLPHAN1 and opfinistic like this.
  6. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

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    :pointlol:

    Riiiiiight.
     
  7. Frumundah Finnatic

    Frumundah Finnatic U Mad Miami?

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    :lol:
     
  8. NaboCane

    NaboCane Banned

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    As it should be.

    You can't argue against the lingua franca of the entire world...and if you do, you have to do it in English.
     
  9. syborg

    syborg New Member

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    Only if you can start to spell it correctly. . Neighbour not neighbor; colour not color etc :couch:
     
  10. Ultra

    Ultra Lazy

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    the only thing that kills me is the pronunciation of aluminum :lol:
     
  11. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

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    I refuse to take a leak in a loo.
     
  12. Frumundah Finnatic

    Frumundah Finnatic U Mad Miami?

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    I also refuse to smoke a ***.
     
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  13. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

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    Welcome back to our team!
     
    Frumundah Finnatic and Pagan like this.
  14. syborg

    syborg New Member

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    I guess 'taking a leak in the loo' is better than taking a wizz in the john :tongue2:
     
  15. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

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    Go queue up for a pint and bugger off.


    I'm doing alright?
     
  16. syborg

    syborg New Member

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    The f'ag reference comes from burning a cigarette as you would burn kindling/firewood and progressed to g'ay man because sodomites and such were burned for their crimes against nature and all that, The *** to mean cigarette origin is obviously due to burning a cigarette like one might burn kindling as I mentioned earlier. .
     
  17. syborg

    syborg New Member

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    lol. . your doing great. . now just write the date the right way around and you could prob get away with it. .:up:
     
  18. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

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    MCMXLVIII Ah crap I forget how you blokes do it. ;)
     
  19. texanphinatic

    texanphinatic Senior Member

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    Its "Ah bloody 'ell", not ah crap. :up:
     
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  20. Frumundah Finnatic

    Frumundah Finnatic U Mad Miami?

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    Dont be such a grammour nazi:tongue2:
     
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  21. syborg

    syborg New Member

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    Well now Im on my 6th can of this 5% lager: [​IMG] I cant reemember how we do the date either. . lol :up:
     
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  22. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

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    Ah bloody 'ell, I have a Texan teaching me the 'Queen's language'!
     
    Frumundah Finnatic likes this.
  23. syborg

    syborg New Member

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    lol. . :lol:
     
  24. baboo72

    baboo72 Bleeding aqua & orange

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    Guys just remember to drop the H at the begining of every word and you'll be alright then you'll be avin a larf!
     
  25. dolfan06

    dolfan06 New Member

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    you think a loo is bad, ya ought to go to china. their friggin toilets are a hole in the floor with a half cup on one side. if you aren't limber and can't squat i guess you make a game out of it and try to hit the hole.:sad:
     
  26. syborg

    syborg New Member

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    . . . But the Americans already do that they call Herbs 'erbs. .

    oh and yogurt (as in log but with a y) is YO - GURT
     

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