"I call Michael Irving the other day and he offer me his special white powders. I said "nah." I don't do those stuff so I can keep my mind as clear as a stapler for my work on ESPM. "
I didn't even notice the date. I thought this one was the funniest. Pittsburgh Steelers: Chris Williams, OT, Vanderbilt What Pittsburgh need to do is very obviously. The team must obsign a big ol' linemen who can keep the guys on the other side of the ball from knocking Big Bob Roethlisberger's head off. Big Bob head have been through a lot lately. He have been in a bicycle accident a couple of months ago. Then his stomach blow up. Then he have a concussion or two. A part of a man's body can only be explosioned so many times
I didnt think it was funny. Now take out Emmitt and replace him with with the departed Sean Salisbury and reference a few ***** jokes and THATS funny
" Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Emmitt Smith IV, RB, Florida Jon Grudens love to take the sons of former NFL players. He should draft my son, Emmitt IV. Emmitt IV is only five or six years old, and he already can carry the football in both hands - his right hand and his... uhh... other hand. Emmitt IV is a little young in the tooth, but he can be a great runnin' back in the year 2017."
Yeah, that had me busting up as well. I don't know how those some of you can't see the humor..this is hysterical IMO.
Emmitt Smith is upset. ESPN has made a ridiculous decision to leave the best football analyst to ever grace our television sets off draft duty. To compensate, Emmitt has compiled his own 2008 NFL Mock Draft. As a reminder, Emmitt is the best, and I seriously would never watch Sunday NFL Countdown if they booted him off the show. I'm just having some fun at his expense here; his inability to speak English while simultaneously maintaining a job where that's the only requirement is an awesome achievement that hasn't gone unnoticed. At any rate, this is what a 2008 NFL Mock Draft would look like if Emmitt Smith created one. If you haven't read the Emmitt Smith Anthology, do so now, so you can understand how much of a comedic genius Emmitt really is. Emmitt Smith makes a 2008 NFL Mock Draft. "I make my own mock draft. Please read these doggone pick!" 1. Miami Dolphins: Matt Ryan, QB, Boston College University In the 2007 regular season, the Miami Dolphin became the first winless team to ever win a game in a regular season. Why did this happen, you ask? No talent in and around the locker room. You have Clyde Lemon at quarterback. You have Ronnie Brown at running back. He had been banged up. And you have Chris Chambers at receiver. He was sent sailin to San Francisco, or the Windy City, so to speak. But Miami have a new sheriff in town. Parcells, or as some people like to call him, "The Big Dolphin." If you look at Parcells' history, he likes to grab quarterback with the first overall pick. He draft Drew Bledsoe in New England. He draft Vinny Testaverde with the New York. And now he will draft Matt Ryan from Boston College University. 2. St. Louis Rams: Jake Long, OT, Michigan The Rams have not played confident football in three weeks... or three years, to be more precise. But the Rams are very close to winning the NFC W... South. All they need to do is find themselves a big ol' offensive tackle who make big open holes for their running back Steven Johnson. Los Angeles... they give up, or they had given up 48 sacks on the year each week. That is why Marc Bulger is spendin too much time gettin roughed up in the behind. 3. Atlanta Falcons: Darren McDaniels, RB, Arkansas The Falcons has no runnin' game. Period. That is why the team need to draft the runnin' back from Arkansas, Darren McDaniels. I have no need nor reason to explain these. Warrick Dunn used to be good but now he is over the hill, or the mountain, so to speak. Atlanta have Jarrett Norwood as a backup but he didn't score many points on my fantasy squad. So he is a bust. A strong runner like McDaniels who can run up the middle of the big ol' offensive line is exactly what Portland need to make their team as stronger as possible. 4. Oakland Raiders: DeSean Jackson, WR, California Oakland just do not have anyone who can catch the doggone football. Al David just have to face the reality - Jerry Porter just do not draw the double team. JaMarcus Russells need a big-time receiver so he can win some games and put Oakland back on the globe. 5. Kansas City Chiefs: Tim Tebow, QB, Florida I had to get some help for this No. 6 overall draft pick so I look through the wide world web for answers. It turns out that not one mock draft from 2008 have Tim Tebow, the great quarterback from Florida, going. Have not many people heard of this? Tim Tebow is a great player: He can run. And he can throw. [mod] Please do not post whole articles.[/mod]
I'm with GiK on this one, the man is not Shakespearian, but to make fun of the way he talks to this level sort of ceases to be funny to me at least.
