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Dumbest reason you dumped someone

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by McLovin, Sep 12, 2014.

  1. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    but you gave it to her.
     
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  2. RickyBobby

    RickyBobby VIP DIY

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    ...and her husband
     
  3. Aqua4Ever04

    Aqua4Ever04 Write Travis Write Club Member

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    You're like Paul Rudd on 40 year old virgin when they're talking about sex stories. "I laid her down and passionately kissed her ear lobes while we made love. It was magical."

    Come on, man! No one wants to hear that ****!
     
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  4. Aqua4Ever04

    Aqua4Ever04 Write Travis Write Club Member

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    My reason, though: Small ****

    Come to think of it, the only times I've ever been really sad after getting dumped was when that girl had big ol titties. I like big ****.

    Boobs.









    Big giant boobs.
     
  5. Unlucky 13

    Unlucky 13 Team Rosen Staff Member Club Member

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    Thats extra hilarious, because the first time I saw the movie, I immediately compared myself, prior to meeting my wife, to Rudd's character. In my group of friends in my early to mid 20s, that was me, lol.
     
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  6. xphinfanx

    xphinfanx Reload

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    Dumped one because she started smoking, was like licking a ashtray.
     
  7. Aqua4Ever04

    Aqua4Ever04 Write Travis Write Club Member

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    I was with a girl the other night who is a smoker and, not joking, her breath smelled like a cat **** box. Luckily, my dick doesn't have a sense of smell. Amirite?
     
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  8. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin RIP Phinsational Luxury Box Club Member

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    .... nor a sense of sight. :shifty:
     
  9. Paul 13

    Paul 13 Chaotic Neutral Staff Member

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    I'm with Unlucky..... never the dumper... only dumpee... :sadpanda:
     
  10. McLovin

    McLovin Resident Pats fan.

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    Is this CashinFists Alt?








    such a nice wedding


    [​IMG]
     
  11. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    Not my problem.................
     
  12. McLovin

    McLovin Resident Pats fan.

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    I just use the pull out method to protect against getting aids when I take Sicks sloppy's.
     
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  13. cuchulainn

    cuchulainn Táin Bó Cúailnge Club Member

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    Didn't like her nose... she was really good looking until she turned her head. Couldn't get over that schnauzer...

    Dumped another because her boobs were smaller than I like and lacked enough symmetry... and don't get me started on those GD thick *** bra's that are false advertisement...

    Another due to the gelatinous quality of her lips. Freaked me out when we were kissing.

    Another had really ugly legs - met her in the winter, dumped her after seeing what she was hiding...

    Another cause she went and got a tacky looking butterfly tattoo on her tummy over her bush.

    Hated the toes on another... her second toe was longer than her big toe. Was weird looking.

    No wonder women say men are bastards... lol...
     
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  14. bigbry

    bigbry Huge Member

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    Dude! a girl that can smoke a cigarette with her vagina is a keeper.
     
  15. McLovin

    McLovin Resident Pats fan.

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    Bry likes it when she says she can feel the cigarette.
     
  16. McLovin

    McLovin Resident Pats fan.

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    this has maynard written all over it.
     
  17. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=- Club Member

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    Seriously? No dead hooker jokes yet?

    Disappointed in you people...

    Sent from my LG-MS770 using Tapatalk
     
  18. bigbry

    bigbry Huge Member

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    You've been reading that forum of rejects.......amirite?
     
  19. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin RIP Phinsational Luxury Box Club Member

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    Why would anyone dump a dead hooker? They're free and let you stick it anywhere at no extra charge! :shifty:

    Wait... but if they're free then they can't be hookers... which means you're not having sex with a dead hooker... you're just having sex with a cadaver, and that definitely crosses the threshold of being morally unacceptable. knowwhutImsayin.
     
  20. cuchulainn

    cuchulainn Táin Bó Cúailnge Club Member

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    That you have no morals and are either cruising morgues or funeral homes...
     
  21. bigbry

    bigbry Huge Member

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    That from experience you know the difference.
     
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  22. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin RIP Phinsational Luxury Box Club Member

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    What, who hasn't had a hooker flatline on them mid hump? :confused2:
     
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  23. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin RIP Phinsational Luxury Box Club Member

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    That's so 1998. I find Suicide Anonymous alleviates that pesky rigor mortis issue TBH.
     
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  24. cuchulainn

    cuchulainn Táin Bó Cúailnge Club Member

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    lol...

    Used to work with a guy that only went to seedy bars 30 mins or so before closing time to get laid. He always brought back something to hump. He'd brag about how bad some of then were. *shudders*
     
  25. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=- Club Member

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    Yeah, sounds like this one dude around here. Ever been to West Virginia?

    Sent from my Transformer TF101 using Tapatalk 4
     
  26. cuchulainn

    cuchulainn Táin Bó Cúailnge Club Member

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    McLovin? :shifty:
     
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  27. Unlucky 13

    Unlucky 13 Team Rosen Staff Member Club Member

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    99% of my experience in bars was in WV.
     
  28. RGF

    RGF THE FINSTER Club Member

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    I find this incredibly funny. Does that make me a sicko? :mellow:
     
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  29. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin RIP Phinsational Luxury Box Club Member

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    why'd you leave out the "mid hump" part? Was it a BBBJCOT instead? :shifty:
     
  30. RGF

    RGF THE FINSTER Club Member

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    :headscratch:
     
  31. McLovin

    McLovin Resident Pats fan.

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    urban dictionary will help you RGF

    NSFW.

    and the T stands for Todd.
     
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  32. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin RIP Phinsational Luxury Box Club Member

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    ummmm no
     
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  33. McLovin

    McLovin Resident Pats fan.

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    Too late


    Definitely Todd.
     
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  34. RGF

    RGF THE FINSTER Club Member

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    Oh, now I got it. Fine tool that Google. Cant believe I never heard that before even though I`ve been a no good disrespectful rat bastard most of my life. And I say that in a loving way, of course.
     
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  35. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin RIP Phinsational Luxury Box Club Member

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    Probably because you prefer TUMA and FUTB right before you BBBJCIMNQNS..... which is why I'd never let McHatin drink from the same straw as me... or let him feed me nachos.
     
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