January 10th, 2011. Near-tragedy struck when then Buccaneers general manager Mark Dominik and a few players paid a surprise visit to a few local Bucs fans at their place of work: A steel mill. It can be said that this steel mill was not in tip-top condition as, it had been known in the past for its blatant disregard for zoning and security code infractions. The impromptu visit to the facility almost warranted the almost routine disregard for safety precautions. One source recalled steel beams rolling on massive "dollies" unattended, and cranes suspending steel planks high above the heads of the visitors with no one at the controls. "There was a feeling of nervousness" one somber source added. In the moments leading to the incident, sources near team personnel said "...it was about 12 of us standing there and I happened to notice a creaking noise above us; didn't pay it any mind... it seemed to stop for a little bit and then return... [Dominik] was standing about this far [~18 feet] from me... and then, we heard it... it was very sudden and I remember thinking 'if this thing falls on any of us, we're dead, just like that'... it all happened so fast we all ran for our lives". It was a 560lb male silver-back gorilla recently escaped from the local zoo, which sprang on Dominik and very nearly mauled him to death. Dominik later issued the statement, that he will step down from his position for a time as he admits the job has become too stressful for his liking in recent years. It was only the 3rd ever recorded gorilla near-mauling at that steel mill. Facility authorities issued the statement "Wow really, again?". January 28th, 2011. A new beginnings for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, as Bucs ownership has landed a new man for the position of GM. A man few knew very little of and many who will question his expertise in the field. The man, lmeister was introduced earlier today to the media and was then interviewed by our very own Chip C. Cook... CC: "...and so, how does it feel to have reins of an NFL franchise in the most uncertain of times?" L: "You know, I just want to start by stating how grateful I am to Bucs ownership for taking a shot at me and giving me the wonderful opportunity; not just that, but providing me with a wonderful facility to work and live and shower; not that the van down by the river wasn't a decent setup, but I feel it was time to change things up and this really couldn't come at a better time. With the CBA still in negotiation, I'm afraid we just can't proceed with business, although we can talk to coaching and personnel prospects. Either way, we shouldn't be making too many radical changes, this team, I feel was solid last year and I only see it getting better as our batch of talent develops..." CC: "...is there anyone you would like to thank for your recent success specifically?" L: "Yes, I do. I would just like to send a shout-out to my 11th grade English teacher mrs. Presley; she kept telling me if I didn't straighten out and get my stuff together I would surely end up living in a van down by the river. 'Well, mrs. Presley. Don't you feel dumb?' Next question..." CC: "...so would you care to elaborate on what some of your big plans might be for the team?" L: "You know, it's a process. It really is. It really is a process. Next question..." CC: "...and if there is one phrase which encapsulates your reign here as Bucs GM, what would it be?" L: "Well, I got a golden ticket!..."
