My brother calls me up and tells me, he can't afford the $ 400 a month car payments he has, and that he wants to buy my old car. My car is 8 years old, and I have heard you never sell a car to a family member, as something always goes wrong and then family members fight and stop talking to each other. Besides, I don't want to sell it. I like that car and use it on the weekends (I work from my home, so I don't travel a lot during the week). What do I tell him ? Your thoughts please.
Tell him The other stuff leaves it open to debate IMO, this just says no, I want to keep it sorry....
Bro just like you said. tell him you don't want his payment and car, and that he has to be responsible for his own actions. Perhaps he can sell it, and pay the car off. Then he could go get something used and cheaper.
If you sell it to him, then what are you supposed to do? That's right, buy another car. You like your car. And you're not going to find another that you like, that's 8 years old, and doesn't cost you anything (as far as payments). Just tell him the last line like everyone else said. You don't want to sell it.
Thanks guys, I appreciate the help. Its pretty much what I had decided to do, but wanted some confirmation. I was afraid I was gonna be considered hard-hearted. I still will be, and he has put me in a very uncomfortable position, because now I have to tell him no. He'll not be happy and he won't help me with Mom, or be less willing to help (Mom is 77 yrs old and is failing, with osteo & rheumatoid arthritis, and the start of alzheimer's. I am her full time care giver and my brother helps on the weekends (gives me a chance to go out). I'm afraid when I tell him, he is gonna stop helping on the weekends. But I have to do, what I have to do.
Very sorry to hear about your mother's health. Wish her and the family the best. If he chooses not to help your mother, then something isn't right with him. Your mother's health should not be involved in this when its between you two. You should support your mother no matter what. There are things you have to do and he has to understand that you just can't do some of things he wishes for.
Bro, he's your brother and I'd hope that he'd be a decent enough person to look past this. This isn't something that he should get worked up on and if he does, he has some serious maturity issues to worry about. I hope things work out the best for you and your family.
Bro prayers and thoughts for you and your mom bro. I am going through the alzheimers with my father in law. I have watched him slide in the last two years.
I agree, and most reasonable people would think that way too -- but this is my brother. You have no idea
Thanks bro, I agree and I hope he is mature enough, but he can, at times act like a 12 year old, even though he is the elder brother (I am 48 and he is 52)
Fin Fan she is just starting.....the forgetting, the accusing you of moving things, the falling asleep at the breakfast table while reading the newspaper in the morning...etc. Its tough to watch, because at one time this was a very smart and together woman. You have my prayers Fin Fan. PM me sometime about it.
I know bro, I know.....somehow he will make this out to me being a selfish a-hole. Even though I counciled him 2 years ago not to purchase it because I didn't think he needed this big a car. Well two months ago he was laid off of his 2nd job, that was (basically) paying for the car and some extras. Now he wants Mom and I to bail him out of his mess. I want to do it as a brother, but I also resent being put in this position.
Bro, if you need your car, don't do it. If he thinks he can get through life depending on you and your mother then good luck to him. I believe earlier in the thread you stated he was 52, he should be able to understand situations like this and that he should know you want to help him whenever you can but in some situations, you just can't, especially at that age. He needs to learn to fight his own battles. Tell him sorry but no bro, you gotta get through this on your own because I'm not in a situation where I can help you. I have a family too that I need to support and you know about moms health.
Thanks Alen, there is even another twist to this story. Within the next couple of months, my brother and I should get a total of about $ 7,000 to share from the state of Florida, because of monies they are holding that belong to us. When those are released he'll have $ 3500 that is not out of his pocket to put towards a new vehicle. He knows this and I resent his putting pressure on me now to do it. I will post up links to where you guys can find hidden monies the state may be holding for you in a separate thread.
Anytime. He has to be crazy if he thinks he can pull the car from you and get that money. He can buy a good car for 3500. My cousin's dad bought a 98 or 2000 (can't remember) Pontiac GTO for that price and it is very good for him. He works a night shift and gets to places. Yeah man, just tell him what I stated in the previous post or any of the good ideas that the other members posted in here.
One of my best friends son put her through heck doing stuff like this to her. He stole her bank card, ran up her phone bill etc. etc. etc. She was so bad broke that she had to move in with her daughter. Then had to get a peace bond to keep him away from her. It's been a sad hard time for her to do this to her own son. But, she finally realized she had to to survive. I know your problem is different, but stick to your guns. It's not selfish or mean to try and take care of yourself and your mom. My prayers are with you.
Damn Debs, that is awful for your friend. Its terrible when a family member takes advantage like that, when they know you are too kind to pick up the phone and call the law. You know she could have him in jail for that stuff, does he know that ? If he did he might treat her better.
Yep.....I never had an older brother really. He treated me like crap when I was young, called me names, made fun of me because I was the skinny kid, and needed glasses at the age of 9, and he was Mr Boffo Buff Athlete Dude. We are so different, its not funny. We have the same blood type (my dad's type A+) and the same web toes (the two next to my big toes on each foot is webbed up to the knuckle) so we know we have the same parents, but we look completely different, our body types are complete opposites. He is Mr Boffo Athlete Dude and I was the Skinny Uncoordinated Wears Glasses Band Nerd in school. You know Dad loved him better cause he played sports, and Mom liked me a bit better cause I did my homework and didn't cause trouble However they always seemed to be more proud of him because he was an All-Dade Football & Baseball player and got the college schollie at East Carolina, and I had to work my *** off to get my schollie to the U of Miami, but my folks still had to take out loans to pay for some of my education. Dad used to always throw it back in my face about how "Jim got his schooling paid for, and why couldn't I do that too". I can't help it if I am a nerd. At least I graduated from The U with honors didn't I ?
He is in jail for breaking parole where he had done the same thing to some one else. (she just never dreamed he'd do it to her) She did call the police etc. Now she has to wait until after this hearing to start trying to get any money back. He intimidated her alot and threated her daughter, husband and grandkids if she tried to kick him out or anything. He's not allowed around any of them for a year, then she can stop him again. I'm just glad he didn't hurt her. He's just a big lazy con man. She called the police from her daughters and they went to her apartment and picked him up. Evidently they knew him well. Atleast she's safe now.
My older sister was a jerk. It was kind of opposite with us. I was always small athletic, rode in horse shows, twirled baton etc. She was always over weight. Her and my dad would gang up on me verbally. Poor mom was always in the middle. But thankfully long before she died we got it all out and were ok. Oh, but I hated her when I was young. I've often wondered how it would have been if she had wanted to have a good relationship with me.
Debs I have always speculated about that too. Because my brother shunned me completely. He and my cousin would go and do things together, and never tell me, or even my Dad and Uncle would get my brother & cousin Mark together and then just, by chance, forget to tell me or let me know about it, and I missed out on fishing weekends, ball games, and movies.....u name it.
I know. It stinks and it's so hard to forget. I wasted so many years hating my dad and sister. And you know, it wasn't worth it. It only hurt me. I will say it did make me a stronger adult, sometimes too much so. I was always made to feel I had to be on the defensive with them, so many times I took it out on others. My sister could lie like a champ. I think that's why I HATE it when any one lies to me. I usually never trust them again. Well, all we can do is be "us" love ourselves and keep on keeping on. My prayers are with you always. Debby
I have the same issues. Trust being a tough nut for me to crack. That's why I had the issue with the Luxury Box thing the other day. It reminds me of my childhood when I always seemed to be the odd-man out, and always feeling rejected. Prayers with you to doll
