Barstool Quarterback: Week 1

I thought I would get some thoughts off my chest before heading to bed.

First, I think we can all agree that Chad Henne lost this game for us tonight. Wait . . . what? Actually, Henne was about the only guy in Dolphins gear tonight, both players and coaches, who did his job and did it well. With no run game and abysmal pass protection, he put up a courageous performance with only a few poor plays, many of those miscues on communication.

One thing that will likely get lost in the shuffle about tonight is special teams. We probably could have fielded a team of monkeys tonight and put up a better performance than we did last season, but I noticed a troubling trend throughout the entire game. We consistently fielded kickoffs in the back of the endzone. When we did run them out, we barely made it back to the 20. On the other hand, the Pats were consistently fielding Dan Carpenter's kicks at the front of the endzone or even a few yards out, and they consistently managed to bring the ball out to the 25-30 yard range. Many might think this a small thing, but it's these small things that really add up when playing an opponent like New England.

I know. I know. You're still waiting for me to bash the defense. Well, that's coming. But, if you want to know the truth, the next biggest issue with tonight's performance was penalties. The offensive line and special teams units absolutely killed us with penalties tonight. Frankly, I'm surprised we kept it as close as we did with the number of times we shot ourselves in the foot with penalties tonight. Our offensive line was one of the most penalized units in the league last year, and this unit, that is apparently nothing to worry about according to Tony, is probably going to be the reason that we have a Coach Gruden or Coach Cowher next season.

Ok, now to the defense. Where do we begin? I think the biggest issue was clearly the lack of passrush. It killed me to see the difference between the amount of time Brady had tonight and the amount of time Henne had. Our phenom OLB was routinely stuffed by a rookie tackle who wasn't even supposed to be playing. Even after the Pats lost their starting center, with an already decimated line, we had a tough time disrupting Brady at all. Jason Taylor and Koa Misi looked like practice bodies out there just giving guys some work. The 2 TE sets abused our LBs all night and killed their ability to step up and defend the run (is it now appropriate for me to feel vindicated for insisting for the last two years that we trade for Greg Olson?). And it's quite clear that we have no corners behind Vontae and Sean, who both played pretty mediocre tonight as it was. I've been a huge supporter of Reshad Jones, but he had a really bad game tonight. There's really not one player on the defense that I can say had a decent performance. And I'm very disappointed in Mike Nolan's adjustments, or lack thereof, tonight.

This is not a game that gets me thinking negative about our squad this year. I still think we're a very good team, and I'm so encouraged by Henne. But it's abundantly clear that we cannot beat the Pats. I'd imagine we would have the same problem with the Ravens. It's not much different than the Braves being unable to beat the Phillies. That's the next step.

Oh, and what the hell was up with our conditioning tonight? Cam Wake looked gassed after one series. Multiple guys had to come out for cramps. Correct me if I'm wrong, but we're supposed to have the homefield advantage for these early home games, right?

The only other gripe that comes to mind is our complete impotence on short yardage. Let me see if I have this straight. We draft a rookie center. Ditch our Wildcat RB. Sign a RB who is universally considered not a between-the-tackles back. We dump our FB who had been one of the best short-yardage guys in the league. We don't trade for Tim Tebow though he's apparently available for a pretty reasonable price. Did I miss anything? No? Ok. So . . . of course, we're left to go to that high percentage play of throwing the fade to Brian Hartline on 4th and goal from the half yard line. Well done, Jeff Ireland. Well done.

Long story short. Henne is not the problem. Jeff Ireland, Tony Sparano, our secondary, and our passrush are. Is it the end of the world losing to one of the Super Bowl favorites on the first game of the season? No. Do I think we're on our way to the Bill Cowher or Jon Gruden era in Miami? Possibly.

P.S. - One important thing I learned tonight. The defense is only allowed to have 11 men on the field for a play!