Yeah Boik, we're trying to have a mature conversation here and you're talking about belching? Take that nonsense to twitter.
I like to give my girl a Dutch Oven when she's asleep but it's getting old. I need new tricks, can you help out a fellow phins fan? You guys got any good fart moves? All the ones I've read in this thread, I've done & been on the receiving end. And, yes farts are extremely funny especially when you do it to others.
not for me, being lactose intolerant, I find the combination of a big milkshake plus 2 bean burritos from Taco Bell gives me the best ammo. I can also substitute onion rings and a bacon double cheeseburger for the burritos.
My mother once did one of those in a shop, she started running up the aisle to get away from it and thus the gun kept on firing all the way up the aisle. I was bent double over a display with tears of laughter running down my eyes, so much so that a shop assistant came over and asked me if I was ok. I couldn't answer for laughing, but the change of look on her face from concern to one of disgust soon told me she now knew what I was laughing at.
I once cleared a supermarket checkout line with a quintessentially putrid-smelling SBD. The people moved away to other lines. There I stood, in guilty solitude.
Shoot, thats a damn fine strategy sir. I think I will gas up before my next run to the supermarket. Thats one way to shorten lines.
My wife absolutely LOVES making buffalo chicken dip. It is so fantastic. Too bad there is a con to every pro. I **** like a water cannon from a WW2 sub for days afterwards. I will **** and eat at the same time cause, yolo. It tastes amazing (the dip), and the farts that press from out of my rectum are ones that could gag a sanitation worker. My wife will reluctantly be making some up this weekend......everyone buy stock in febreeze now.
My brizz often tells me how she was duped in this whole relationship thing, because when we first started dating I wouldn't fart or burp...and now I am a disgusting animal....she called it Phase 1 love back then and now we are in Phase whatever 4, 5... Basically that is her response everytime I fart....."Phase 1"
Actually everything works at walmart....for minimum wage. They'd package it and sell it if they could.
When poop comes out, the dog has moved beyond the fart and into pooping, therefore, it is no longer a dog fart. Sent from my TB12-DSL using Tapatalk 2, one handed.
Not my story, but a good one... Back when one of my friends started dating his future fiance, they had already been together for a couple of months when one morning, while still in bed, he told her: " You know? Weve slept together, Ive laughed with you, Ive told you my life's story's etc,. After all this time with you there's only one thing left that I still haven't done...." She asked " whats that?" ...he then was like, "how would you feel if I farted in front of you?" She laughed and said "let her rip!!" Meanwhile, during their conversation in bed, neither were aware of her new kitten which was sound sleep right behind his ***. He lets a huge one go, and she sees a startled kitten leap 3 feet straight up in the air from behind his ***. She said it looked like he shat up a kitten. They both love to tell that story and will laugh hysterically any time they tell it. LOL
yes. You gotta take the dutch oven to a new level to reach the same high. Next time, without waking her, very gently reverse-straddle her face with your arse a few inches from her nose, then tickle the sh** out of her. Need to time it so you gas her right as her face smacks into your bum.
Even better, add baby powder for a visual aspect. Sent from my TB12-DSL using Tapatalk 2, one handed.
What's Phase 5, seeing what your normal underwear look like?.... Finding the hidden pee bottle you forget to empty after the game?
Ok, whose the stiff that a) Doesn't think farts are funny AND b) doesn't think the Jets suck? Whoever he/she should be immediately banned.
Lucky. He admitted it was him because he's still mad I won't give him any. Sent from my TB12-DSL using Tapatalk 2, one handed.
I was just thinking....who else here has cropdusted a staircase at a mall? I recommend trying it at some point....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oq3GHO-5laA "I'm gonna tell you Buttholes something...... THIS **** IS WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY OUT OF LINE.... You squirrels better have some nuts in your mouth...or YOU'RE GOING DOWNTOWN."
I forgot all about this video... [video=youtube;qYSPAraTWmo]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYSPAraTWmo&feature=player_detailpage[/video]
I once left a classroom to use the bathroom and a friend once took my cell phone I had left at the table and farted on the mouthpiece. He then called me during our lunch break and asked my how his *** tasted. Tell me that's not funny.
My Lab farts exactly like a human. Loud as hell. Which is fun when you are at the vet, all of a sudden your dog lets one go and it gets deathly quiet. The bad thing is that dog farts linger for a good 5 minutes.
So if I eat people food all the time, should mine linger? I think this post was animal racism at its best. Sent from my TB12-DSL using Tapatalk 2, one handed.