The Real fan A clash of the frenzied rivals special was about to take place on Monday night prime time with the Jet's preparing to kick away in Miami. Every seat in the stadium was filled... except one. The man sitting beside the empty seat was questioned about it by the man behind him. He proceeded to explain that he and his wife hadn't missed a Dolphin home game in 33 years until she passed away. The man behind him said that he was sincerely sorry about his wife but this was the toughest ticket in town to get. "Couldn't you have brought someone else along to enjoy the game with you? A friend or maybe a relative?" he asked. "I would've," said the man, "but they're all at her funeral." Learn to laugh. It's the way to true love.
x2 reminds me of the funnier joke that can be applied to any given sports team. Child Abuse So little Timmy goes to court for a case of child abuse.... The judge asked if he wanted to live with his father, and he said no, as his father beats him. The judge asked if he wants to live with his mother, and he said no, as she beats him too. Then the judge asked, well is there anyone you want to live with? Timmy replied "The Miami Dolphins, as they don't beat anybody."
Or how about the Jets fan who comes walking in his house on Sunday morning after getting the paper all white faced. His wife asks "What's the matter?" "Remember those tickets we had for the Jets game today that I left on my dashboard last night?" he asks. "Yes...of course I remember,' his wife replies. "Well," he says, "someone smashed the windshield." "Oh my God," his wife yells, "they stole our tickets!" "No," replies the husband. "They left us 4 more.
Joke & Quote Zero - Love One tennis player ran into another at the club and had this exchange: "How come Bob's not your doubles partner anymore?" "Would you partner with a guy who was always late, always tried to borrow money, blamed you for every loss, and tried to screw both your wife and your teenage daughter?" "Of course I wouldn't." "Well, neither would Bob." "Love all, trust few." -William Shakespeare
There are these friends who play golf together every Saturday. One Saturday they were getting ready to tee off when a guy, by himself, asked if he could join them. The friends looked at each other and then looked at the man and said it was okay. About two holes into the game, the friends got curious of what the lone man did for a living, so they asked him. The stranger told them that he was a hitman. They kind of laughed. The man said, "No really, I am a hitman. My gun is in my golf bag. I carry it everywhere I go. You can take a look at it if you'd like." So one of the guys decided that he would. He opened up the bag and sure enough, there was this rifle with a huge scope on it. He got all excited about it. He said, "WOW! I bet I can see my house through here! May I look?" The stranger handed him the rifle. The man looked for a second and said, "YEAH! You can! I can even see through my windows and into my bedroom. There's my wife, naked. Isn't she beautiful? WAIT! There's my next door neighbor! He's naked too, that son of a *****!" The man turned to the assassion. "How much for a hit?" The hitman replied, "It's $10,000 per bullet." The man said, "Then I want bullet in her head, and blow his balls off with another." The hitman agrees, so he gears up and looks through the scope. He stands there without moving for a minute. Two minutes passes, then three. Well, the man starts to get impatient and asks what the hitman is waiting for. "Patience my friend," the hitman replies. "If you wait another couple of minutes I can save you ten thousand bucks."
