Stuck, City Living (Philly)

I lived in a city for 4 years while at UCLA. If you're a light sleeper, I'd put some stock in ear plugs. I didn't mind it since I wasn't but there are some conveniences (everything you need is within a decent distance, lots of places to go to) and some hassles (bums, crime, unclean air, congestion, noise). I would think Philly's transportation is much better than what we have here or at least I think it still is because it's been a while for me. If you don't like to drive, then a city would be the thing for you because driving is a royal pain. Personally, I didn't really mind.

I try to find happiness in the little things because sometimes those big things don't come around as often as you need it. Other than that, just keep going and hope something better comes down the line.

A good bit of advice for living in the "middle of the road" is perhaps to cut down on material goods. Believe me, those can pile up quickly without notice and you might as well save some cash. Definitely have some money in savings just in case and maybe make some inventories.

 

Serious advice here.

I used to be like you, had a part-time job, just made enough to pay the rent and partied all the time. It seemed as though all I did was hang out, drink, chase girls and chill with my friends.

Ironically it was around the age you are now that I put alot of that stuff behind me and moved to the East coast of Florida. Sometimes a change of scenery is good to get away from the things that are holding you back.

Eventually, the friends you have in your hometown get married, have kids, move away, or all of the above. Some dont do any of those things and get stuck in the same rut.

My point is, you have to do your own thing. It sucks being twenty-something without a serious job and no real direction. Trust me, Ive been there. But there comes a time when its not cool to be the old dude at the high school party anymore.

Also another suggestion, get a car. It sucks not being able to go where you want when you want. You cant wait for things to happen, you have to make them happen.

 

regarding city living, i loved it... i lived in Astoria, NY, Hoboken, NJ, and a short stint directly in New York, NY... for most of those times i didn't even have a car

its great having everything you need very close to you... easy to get around, lots of people (which i like), things to do, ect... the crappy parts are the smaller living accommodations with higher living expenses... MUCH higher...

my girlfriend hated the noise but i was used to it, though the car horns when your trying to go to bed can be annoying...

overall i loved city living, though as ive settled down more, ive moved to further suburban pastures, which has its own perks, but if you want to live in the city, prepare for the price hikes, the noise, and the less peace... if you can handle those go for it... your aversion to cars would be perfect in a city...

 

I think HardKoreXXX and other have given you excellent advice. I agree with XXX that sometimes moving is a great way to start over and sometimes, not so much. If you are moving because you are generally unhappy with life, you will probably not be much happier if you move so you need to make your decision based on your true motives.

Just a suggestion about how to get control of your life -- I don't know what your education level or working background is but I would recommend that you examine your life and try to zero in on things you enjoy doing or imagine that you would enjoy doing. If that activity is something that you could reasonably prepare yourself to make a living doing then map out a way to best prepare yourself to make that happen. For instance, if you love working on bikes, look for trade courses in your area that will lead to some certification. If you have an interest in becoming a professional, plot a course to get a formal education to meet that goal. A rewarding life rarely happens by accident. Goals are met by design and planning.

So I guess what you should ask yourself is "what do I want to be when I grow up"? and then do what it takes to get there.

Finally, if you do decide to move, find out something about the job market in that area. It would suck to move some place new and be chronically unemployed and far away from friends and you other support network.

 

I would also contact FemaleFinFan to see if she can give you any advice or help. I believe she's a Philadelphia resident.

 

I don't live in Philly, but I work in it (Mt. Airy/ Germantown section) and live in the next county over. There are plenty of plusses and minuses to living in a city. All of which have been mentioned here. One of my biggest gripes with Philly is their rediculously high wage taxes. They have a fairly decent public transit system, depending on what part of the city you live in. If you have specific questions about the city, then please do not hesitate to ask. If I don't know the answer, I'll speak to my coworkers who actually live in Philly.
Good luck!

 

Sorry about the confusion FFF. Your location always says Philadelphia so I assumed you lived there.

 

Well, after growing up in rural pennsylvania, and spending the last 5 years or so in and around boston and los angeles, i gotta say i love city life. regardless if you are a type of person who likes to go out a lot, or stay home by yourself, cities can really provide it all. the only drawback is that obviously your rent is going to be higher for a smaller place, but living in a city it seems like there's enough to do that you don't find yourself at home very often.

right now, where i live, I can get to a grocery store in a 4 minutes walk, countless food places, there are bars nearby, and the bus system (which is nowhere near as good as transit in philly) is good enough to get around to a lot of different places (a la so long as you work somewhere closeby you can get there pretty easily). also, i don't have a bike yet but i plan on getting one, and that will open up the area even more.

for living 'middle of the road'- here's how my bro and i live. my bedroom has a bed. that's it. haha. i have a big closet for all my clothes and accessories, but i dont have all the useless junk i usually have. we don't go out to eat a lot, making your own food saves you a LOT of money. if you ever need easy recipes let me know. We live simply, but in turn were able to get a 46" flat screen LCD tv that's awesome. We brew our own beer, which saves on going out. we have a car, but rarely use it, preferring to walk, bike or take the bus (so that saves a lot on gas).

but anyway, i much prefer cities to rural areas, at least at this point in my life. at home, there were maybe 2 bars, and they were filled with high schoolers all the time. also, there was barely anything beyond a movie theater, we had to drive everywhere, and its just not that fun for a single young person. don't get me wrong, it's a great place to raise a family, i obviously turned out well, but at this stage in your life, it seems like a city might suit you better.

i realize i'm writing a book, so i'm going to stop, but if i think of anything else that's applicable i'll add it in. good luck brother!

 

No prob alen. I literally live 5 miles outside the city limits, so I may as well live there.

Tax: I think that may be on the low end. I'm a non resident and I believe I pay 5.??% Resident taxes are higher, about .5-1% higher. On the other hand, property taxes are very low. But thats only helpful if you own and don't rent.

Artistic: Center city, Old City, South Street area, all of which have relativley low crime. The far northeast is low in crime as well. I'd consider living in any of those parts of the city, if my wage taxes wouldn't go up even further.

Let me know if you have any other questions...

 

Philly is a huge sprawl and a tough town. it has some nice sections though, but you're gonna pay a premium for rent there. Those nice sections, old city, society hill, rittenhouse square, center city, south st., penns landing, are where you'd want to be. good job market, good culture and eating, its a real city. its not an overly expensive city fortunately, and you could probably find a nice place to rent on the outskirts of those previously mentioned parts of town. but make no mistake, its a tough town and i know people who have been victims of crimes, or near victims in every section i just mentioned. it is a tough city...and some parts, you better pray you never wander into unless you are indeed driving.

if im you, id go somewhere outside right south street or the italian market, until you can bump up your rent payments.

 

Hey man, welcome to the challenges many of us face.

Some of the posts point out the positives and negatives but they dont really solve the positives and negatives. I know thats what frustrates me about threads like this sometimes. Like for a living situation, someone brought up smaller living accommodations/higher rent...well maybe you want to consider a roommate such as your friend (point out the benefit of less rent to him as well?) or sell another friend you like being around on the idea.

I lived in NYC for a few years before moving back to Long Island and the stuff about earplugs is definitely true unless youre a heavy sleeper like me. Those 5 alarm fires at 430AM and the construction workers drilling at 7 really suck.

My sister lived in Center circle (or square?) for a couple of summers while her BF (now husband) was working out of a philly office for his firm at the time. I know she liked the city life and it seemed pretty decent when I visited there. Its not New York in my opinion, but hey, to me nothing is. Most important though, youre young and now is the time to take a few chances and see what makes you tick. Sometimes you have to take some chances to find what you like. That means some of us, myself included have had to go outside our comfort zones. For me that has meant getting off my lazy *** and being more aggressive in my job hunting even though I have something pretty secure I dont really love. Im a natural procrastinator with a PH.D in it and sometimes being assertive for me is a hard thing unless I feel threatened.

As far as finding happiness, thats a tough question only you can answer. You know what you love now think outside the box for career opportunities. In the meantime I might take something just to make ends meet even if its not a real glamorous job and use that to tide me over. Then when you find something you like you use the fact that you have a job at that point as a position to bargain from. Thats something I did well in a job interview today (interviewed for medical sales-wish me luck lol) actually and I got the HR person to bump me up to a different salary band from what my contact within the company said I would probably get. Hopefully I can close the deal within the next week or two.

For simplifying life...thats easy for some of us. I can procrastinate for hours on here, the gym, or my PS3. Some people have different vices. the difference is mine are low maintenance so you have money for the stuff you need...rent, going out a couple times a week, etc. Balance is so important. Sometimes people need every minute of their life detailed and scheduled to attain that. I just decided to start doing that for myself. You have get in to the habit of doing things that way though so it sticks. Basically try some new things if the old way isnt working anymore.

Hope this was helpful.

 

oh crap... I was reading and about to put my 2 cents in and I hit "Best Answer" by accident. I don't know how to undo it. I'm such a failure.

 

Life is a funny thing. What I've learned in 28 years of it is that you have to pick and choose when to chill and when to attack....

What I mean is, you can't force life. I know single people (guys and girls) that want to be in love so bad that they try to force it. They start seeing the wrong people, and develop broken connections all in an effort to find something that would have found them if they were patient. I know people (guys and girls) who want to have nice cars and toys so bad that they end up making dumb decisions as to how to get them.

You simply do what's good for you right now. Take care of yourself. Enjoy yourself. Try not to screw people over. Everything else will happen. You're young (not trying to sound old and wise, trust me), so you have many years to let life happen.

 

fixed it for you.

 

Appears mine was chosen as the best answer and then rescinded...

 

While I did think your answer was the best, the thread isn't mine to choose "Best Answer"

 

well if you need help in discussing the greater Philadelphia area, send me a pm. and i cant believe Mor's sound advice! thats one of the most important lessons from "The Art of War", and something you should live by.