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Dol-Fan Dupree's 2016 Completely Waste of Time Manifesto. Come waste your time!

Discussion in 'Miami Dolphins Forum' started by Dol-Fan Dupree, Jul 20, 2016.

  1. Dol-Fan Dupree

    Dol-Fan Dupree Tank? Who is Tank? I am Guy Incognito.

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    Dec 11, 2007
    Here is once again, your favorite waste of both of our time. The Dol-Fan Dupree Miami Dolphins Manifesto. A joke that has probably outlived the person it is making fun of, who has never been a part of this site. I could print this somewhere, but who cares? I know you don’t, because I don’t. I think. I don’t know. Hooray for traditions.
    Interesting year for the Miami Dolphins. Gone is the coach I hate. I thought Philbin was going to be a good coach, however, I did not realize he was so petty and held grudges. Someone who just couldn’t deal with personalities. Now they have Gase. Someone who can deal with personalities. Someone who seems pretty awesome. Kind of like getting a new boss. The old boss was a stick in the mud and called you into his office because your shirt was a little bit untucked and since there is % chance that someone who is a customer will see it since you work in IT, he still thinks it would be a good idea that you keep your shirt % pristine. To a new boss who takes you out for a beer, and pays. Hooray for Gase! The free beer of coaches! At least that is what I hope he turns out to be. I love free beer.

    Quarterbacks – Interesting position. Not an interesting one to talk about as a whole.

    Ryan Tannehill – IMO, he is one of the most controversial players on the team, that shouldn’t be that controversial. In fact, I believe if he was drafted in any other year and Miami played in any other division than the AFC, then people would be talking about him like he is the next big thing. He hasn’t been perfect, though. He has actually played like a good starter. About the $11 to $15 million a year range. Next season he will be in the $20 million, so he does need to show some improvement. I don’t think he needs to show A LOT of improvement like some people are saying. However, he does need to show improvement. – KEEP

    Matt Moore – The vampire of the group. Sorry, I think he looks like a vampire. Or werewolf. Some kind of monster. Sadly, he is probably one of the top 5 quarterbacks Miami has had since Marino retired. Which shows you how bad Miami’s quarterbacks have been since Marino retired. However, I am going to out on a limb and create my first big cut. Why not? Let’s get weird! – CUT

    Brandon Doughty
    – Here is a guy who is smart enough to take over the offense if Tannehill goes down. He is accurate and is trained by Marino. MARINO! Threw for millions of touchdowns in college. Played well enough against real competition that completely outclassed his team. No quarterback could have survived that LSU onslaught. It would be a mistake to doubt Doughty. I was hoping to think of something funnier. Stupid brain – KEEP

    Zac Dysert – Good name for a character in Mad Max Fury Road. Kills people with his sand gun. Time for Dysert! Could be his battle cry. I think he has a future there. – CUT

    Running backs – By far the weakest unit on the team. Say a lot because of the cornerback situation. When Daniel Thomas is the most productive of all the running backs, that says a lot.

    Jay Ajayi
    – All aboard the J-TRAIN! I was excited when Miami drafted him. One of those players who fell who I did not think would fall. He looked good last season. Good vision, shifty moves, and runs with some power. Surprisingly has a really good spin move, especially for a man his size. Not a lot of experience. He will get a lot of it this year. – KEEP

    Kenyan Drake – An interesting running back. Basically, he was a backup to many good backs. Seems like a potentially great 3rd down back. Especially if he can actually run the ball, unlike someone. He is fast enough to take it to the house. I am excited to see him play. I think he can take over for someone who I am not a fan. – KEEP

    Damien Williams – I am not a fan - CUT

    Isaiah Pead – A talented player who is often injured. That is a problem with him making the team. Honestly, I do not think he is going to make the team, however, I do think the third running back who makes the team is not currently on the team. So I will use him as a placeholder – KEEP (Turns out it was Arian Foster)

    Daniel Thomas – Really? I am serious. Really? I mean come on. Really? – CUT

    Wide receivers – A very interesting position group. Wide receiver could be a huge strength of the team. Will be interesting to see if that is how it will be.

    DeVante Parker – I am looking forward to seeing him in his second season. He started to come on at the end of the last season. He can make big plays. He can make small plays. He is the type of receiver who you do not have to throw a perfect pass and he still can come down with it. That really helps a quarterback. He can also cause some missed tackles. He can be the best wide receiver on the team since Brandon Marshall. – KEEP

    Jarvis Landry – Currently the best wide receiver in Brandon Marshall. No receiver has ever caught more passes in their first two years as this guy. At least I think that is true. If he was a little faster, he would be the perfect wide receiver. However, what speed he has he makes full use. He is tough. So many times he breaks tackles that surprise me. He makes amazing plays. Soon he will be a $10 million a year wide receiver. One of the players who is very easy to root for as no one works harder – KEEP

    Kenny Stills – He has speed. Was disappointing last year in the poor Laser offense. Should be a better wide receiver than he is. They are talking him up a lot. I do not see it. I do like his speed. I think Miami is going to trade him for a 5th or 6th round pick to some team who just had an injury. – CUT (trade)

    Matt Hazel
    – The thing I always find interesting about Matt Hazel is when the Dolphins write how Tannehill is working with his wide receivers in the offseason, I never see his name. Which is too bad. He seems like he has the chops to play the position. Hasn’t shown too much. Maybe it is time for the Coastal Carolina experiment to end – CUT

    Leonte Carroo – The Dolphins traded a little to get him. He describes himself as an Anquon Bolden type player. So far he has caught the eye of Jarvis Landry and is going to work out with him during the offseason. He has the potential to be a big pick for Miami. Does make you wonder if they are thinking about Landry’s Baldwin-like contract coming up. Should be good – KEEP

    Jakeem Grant – My favorite draft pick to watch on YouTube. However, there are many years where Miami brings in a small quick player. They generally do not pan out. Livas, Williams, that one quarterback who I am too lazy to actually look up his name and others. One difference between those players and Jakeem is that when you look at their amazing college highlights the others are doing so against teams that are a pretty much lower tier. Jakeem is making LSU look silly. I don’t know if he will be a 100 catches a year type player like he was in college. Needs to improve his route running and not rely so much on his amazing quickness and speed. I think he can make a 20 to 30 catches a year in his first two years. I am excited about this player, in that I believe that he will have at least 3, “WOW” plays in 2016. – KEEP

    Griff Whalen – The Dolphins signed a player from Hogwarts this offseason. I guess he was really good Seeker. I don’t know how that will transfer to the NFL. For one, they don’t use flying brooms – CUT

    A.J. Cruz – Keeps on calling me “preppy”. I don’t like this guy. – CUT

    Tyler Murphy – According to Wiki, he is a Miami Dolphins quarterback. That should tell you about his chances to make the team. – CUT

    Rashawn Scott – Had too many injuries. Had too many suspensions. Had too many drops. However, he is big and strong. Love watching his highlights as he catches the ball and throws down the DB. I say he figures things out and since Miami lost two Canes, they need to pick one up. That is how it works. – KEEP

    Brandon Shippen – Interesting player. In the sense I know nothing about him and his production is low, however, he played both DB and WR. Wow that is interesting – CUT

    Tight ends – Umm yea. Tight end could be a strength. We will see how they are used.

    Jordan Cameron – Disappointed in him last year. However, I don’t think he was used as he was supposed to be. Seemed like he had a lot of weird routes to run. Gase loves using tight ends. He should be better this year. At least I hope. – KEEP

    Dion Sims – Miami’s best overall tight end. Let that sink in. By overall, I mean both catching and blocking. He is much better than Jordan at blocking. Has surprisingly soft hands. Did knock himself out jumping for what should have been an easy touchdown in the first game of the season last year. I can’t decide if that is a positive or negative. Let’s go positive. – KEEP

    Thomas Duarte – He is a tight end in the sense that he is on the team listed as a tight end. In reality, he is a big wide receiver. I watched a video talking about the draft picks and the guy talked about one play where Thomas had a chance to make an important block on the play three times and decided that he wasn’t feeling like blocking. That is impressive. To actually not block three times. Generally speaking the most you get on a play is two. Thomas goes the extra mile. I do have a, “don’t cut draft picks” policy when I do this. I think he is the most in danger of being cut – KEEP

    Gabe Hughes – Has a good chance of making the team. He is a Charles Clay type tight end. A smaller tight end who can do multiple things. However, unlike Clay, he didn’t do a lot of different things. A good athlete, however raw. Probably a practice squad player his first year. – CUT

    MarQueis Gray – In my wiki research, turns out this guy is a quarterback. The big Q is if his three years in the NFL around the bubble enough for him to learn the position. I hope for his sake it is. Mostly because I want everyone to be able to live their dreams. I don’t take pleasure in saying people will be cut. I just take pleasure in making fun of their names. Mostly because inside I am just sad and want everyone to love me. Did I say that out loud? – CUT

    Dominique Jones – Just kidding. I am not talking. Who is this guy? Wow, he was on the Miami Dolphins in 2012. I wonder if he will have a chance at being a coach. Way to stick with it. Though you do make a pretty decent amount on the practice squad. – CUT

    Jake Stoneburner
    – I love the last name, Stoneburner. Makes me think he is a dwarf. A dwarf wizard. Because of the spell burning hands. Yes, I am a nerd. Yes, I have touched a boob. – KEEP

    Offensive linemen – I am actually optimistic about the offensive line. It might actually be above average this season. Maybe even good. Dare I hope? Dare I?

    Laremy Tunsil – When he was drafted I did not know how to feel. I thought there was a zero chance of Miami drafting Tunsil. Even as he fell, I did not think Miami was going to draft him. Not because he wasn’t worth drafting. It was like when the Natives didn’t pay attention to the ships. They could see the ships, however, they did not know how to process them because they never saw anything like it, so they ignored them. However, bam, the ships turn out to be Spaniards and killed them all. History is brutal. Let’s hope Tunsil turns out to be better for the Dolphins than the Spaniards did for the locals. He has some of the best feet I have seen. His punch is top notch. His ability to get out of his stance is near perfect. His low squat is amazing to me as someone who played the position. That is very tiring to sit that low for that long. It looks so natural. Playing him at left guard, I think is best. Mostly because left tackle is hard as a rookie and left guard is easier. He should be a better guard than Dallas Thomas. Heck, a damp rag might be a better guard than Dallas Thomas. – KEEP

    Branden Albert – At his age, coming back the way he did last season from that injury is really impressive. He started out kind of slow, however after the bye, he started to look like his old self. Unfortunately, there were other injuries on the line and he was the only one playing well. Now he is actually healthy. Should be in better shape when the season starts. The left side might be the best side. WOOO! – KEEP

    Mike Pouncey – The best thing about Pouncey is his ability to pass drug tests. If rumors are true, that is a feat. He is a very athletic center. One of the best at pulling. Which is a weird thing to be good at as a center. He is good at his position. – KEEP

    Billy Turner – Who I am pulling for at right guard. Was injured his rookie year and made a switch from left to right. IMO, the switch from left to right is more difficult than the switch from tackle to guard. A lot of people have an unfortunate view of him. He had half of the pressures of Dallas Thomas, however, close to the same amount of sacks. When he messed up, he messed up big, however, he did not mess up as often. I think he is going to take a step up. Hard worker. – KEEP

    Ja'Wuan James – Good for a rookie, then hurt his second year. Replaced by a player who did his best impression of a turnstile. Ja’Wuan should at least be decent at the position. Has the ability to actually be good. Imagine having 5 good linemen. Hasn’t happened in Miami since the lockout. I miss having good offensive linemen – KEEP

    Jermon Bushrod – Should be first back up at tackle and guard position. Good chance of beating out Turner and maybe James if Turner really turns it up. A good player who got hurt last year. He is healthy now. I feel like I am writing that a lot. – KEEP

    Dallas Thomas – Pretty much want him cut so people will have one less thing to complain about. However, he is PFF’s worse offensive guard two years running. That is a feat. Still, think he is better than Colledge. At least Thomas can block linebackers. Colledge was the 2nd worse starter I have seen start for Miami. – CUT

    Jamil Douglas – He shouldn’t have been Miami’s backup center last season. That was very bad planning. He didn’t have enough practice at snapping the ball. Which is a very important part of the game. Especially when you are in an offense that mostly works out of the shotgun. Probably the worst roster management I have seen. He shouldn’t have been put in that position. Might be a good player. We will see. – KEEP

    Reuben Carter - Wow, I forgot this guy. - CUT

    Ulrick John – Did this guy get his name backward? What is an Ulrick? Urban dictionary says, “
    "Ulrick" is a well-known curse word referring to the ancient, useless sea creature known as "The Ulrick"… The curse word "Ulrick" is mostly used out of frustration.
    Damn it Marge! This Ulrick-computer is useless!’
    Huh? O.K. Ummm yea. – CUT

    Kraig Urbik – He will probably be the 3rd offensive lineman kept. Why not? I hate the Bills – KEEP

    Jacques McClendon – I think this guy sounds like a knight. What a cool name. – CUT

    Vinston Painter – I wonder if he ever thought of taking up painting? Painting is a great career. – CUT

    Anthony Steen – Looking at his picture, he reminds me of an insurance salesman. – CUT

    Sam Young – Another player who might make the team. – CUT

    Defensive linemen – Overall I am not super excited about this group. They could be good. They could be not good enough. It will depend on a lot. Could be awesome.

    Ndamukong Suh – Weirdly disappointing last season. Was one of the better defensive linemen in the league last year. Had some very dominate games. However, he wasn’t as dominate as people wanted him to be. Which makes sense. He is paid to be the best at his position. Being 5th at his position is not good enough. Hopefully, he will be able to take it up a notch this year. – KEEP

    Jordan Phillips – He was good for a rookie. He is a very strong player. Was not that good at playing, though. That is the problem with rookies. They generally not good at their position. However, I believe he is going to take things to a whole new level. – KEEP

    Earl Mitchell – A huge disappointment last season. Very bad against the run. I thought he should have been cut last season. So I think he should be cut this season. – CUT

    Chris Jones – Good depth player. Should step up for the disappointing Earl Mitchell – KEEP

    Cleyon Laing – Looks like this guy is the same size as Earl Mitchell. He is a Canadian Sensation. I like them. Mostly because I like Wake. I love Wake actually. My love of Wake makes me love all Canadians. Well, Canadian football players. Regular Canadians go jump in a lake. And enjoy them. Lake swimming is a good time. Especially with beer. – KEEP

    Deandre Coleman – A player who I thought was good against the run last season in preseason. In the regular season it did not seem anyone was good against the run. Made me wish we kept AJ Francis. Which is a weird sentence to say? Because, who is AJ Francis? Do you remember him? I thought I did. Maybe it is like that movie where people disappear and you don’t remember them but you know something is wrong? I forgot the name of that movie. OH NO! – KEEP

    Mario Williams – Isn’t it weird that Miami has had both Reggie Bush and Mario Williams on the team? Who are they going to sign next Vince Young? Yea, that is not going to happen. Interesting player, in the sense that he had a down year. Did he lose a step or was he a very poor fit for the defense? Miami is banking on him being a poor fit. He is a much better playmaker than Vernon. In fact, if Mario and Wake come back to form, they could be a good pass rushing duo. That is a pretty big if. Bigger if than some random Dennis Miller routine that sounds super intelligent because he uses obscure references and big words, however, who really knows what he is talking about. – KEEP

    Andre Branch – This player is a player who has talent. His skill has not kept up with his talent. One of the reasons that talent isn’t always the key. The key is good fundamentals. Surrounded by a lot of talent. More talent and more fundamentals are the key to winning. This guy has the talent. Will he get the fundamentals? – KEEP

    Terrence Fede – This hurts. I have been a fan of his for years. I thought he was going to be a stand out player. Last year he did not do anything. Did not take the next step. Which is too bad. He has the talent. Just not the technique. Now the Defensive end is loaded. Kind of loaded. Maybe loaded? I don’t really know. I can’t tell if this position is a strength or a weakness. – CUT

    Cameron Wake – Still my favorite player. It was sad last year when he got hurt. However, that play was amazing. I never saw someone tear their Achilles and finish the play. He threw off one blocker and then continued to chase Brady on that play. In the game before Foster hurt his Achilles and went down. In fact, every time I have seen someone hurt their Achilles they go down. I have heard it feels and sounds like someone shot you. So basically during the play, it was metaphorically like Cameron Wake was shot on the play and continued. That is some Theodore Roosevelt **** right there. In fact, I introduce a new nickname. Cameron “Big Stick” Wake. He speaks softly and carries a big stick. Wait. Well, it is better than my first new nickname I thought of. Cameron “Theodore ‘****ing’ Roosevelt” Wake. That is just way too long – KEEP

    Jason Jones – Turns out it is not the guy from 21 Jump Street. He is probably the reason Fede is going to get cut. - KEEP

    Farrington Huguenin – A long term project. I like his name. Reminds me of Jon Snow. He is a practice squat candidate. May the odds be forever in his favor. – CUT

    Julius Warmsley – Oh yea. I met someone who knows this guy. Went to high school or knew him when he was with the Seahawks or something. I also totally forgot who the guy was who knew this guy. The joys of getting older. Or maybe the joys of having a conversation that was neat at the time and then didn’t think it was important enough to remember exactly because I have bigger fish to fry. Like I have to learn how to fry fish. That stuff is good. – CUT

    Jordan Williams – Winner of the most generic name award. I do not know much about him. I wish him good luck. May he have 100 sacks. He probably will not. Still, he is closer to his dream of being an NFL player than I am in my dream of being an NFL player. He will always have that on me. – CUT

    Linebackers
    – I want this position to be good. It has a chance to be good. It does have a chance.

    Kiko Alonso – I do not know if he will be MLB or OLB. If he comes back from injury, Miami will have a good enough linebacking corp. “If he comes back from injury” should be the saying of Miami Dolphins 2016. It is more accurate than “stronger together”. Still, he is good in coverage and good at tackling. He is a good player when he is not injured. Just injured a lot. – KEEP

    Koa Misi – A player that is hated more than he deserves. He is a fine player. A little over paid, however, he is still a good solid player. If Miami had a few more Koa Misi type players they would be a much better team. Unfortunately, they had too many Dallas Thomas type players. Including Dallas Thomas. – KEEP

    Jelani Jenkins – A player who seemed to be taking a step and then seemed to take a step back last season. It might be injuries. Will be interesting to see what player shows up next year. – KEEP

    Neville Hewitt – He was really good against the pass last season. Against New England he was pretty good against the run. Was the New England game a step in the right direction or was it a game where he was in the zone and played really well? At least I think he will at least be a good back up layer. – KEEP

    Spencer Paysinger – I think this is my least favorite position. The veteran linebacker who is good at special teams. I do not think I have ever wanted to keep this player. I would rather put in some young punk to play special teams with the hope he can play some linebacker. For some reason, I feel like it is a waste of better talent to put in a lower talented guy who can play special teams well for the team. I even think special teams is important. Just think that some rookie free agent can handle the load. Well, I am not going to change my ways. That is what makes me a good leader – CUT

    Zach Vigil – This guy started. He did not look like he belonged as a starter. Maybe he will take over for Paysinger. Give me hope for the future. Maybe that is why I want a rookie or young player. Hope. – KEEP

    Chris McCain – Flash in the pan. Like Terrence Fede, but more injured. Is this the year the McCain train derails? – CUT

    Akil Blount – I want him to make the team so bad. I love 2nd generation players. Blount was one of the best. He is talented enough. His youtube video looks good enough. Please be good! PLEASE! – KEEP

    James Burgess – An interesting player as well. He does have a chance to make the team. That analysis is lame. This is the time where I want to finish, however, I am kind of tired of doing this. I could wait until tomorrow, but, whatever. – CUT

    Tyler Gray – He is an interesting player. A player who should have started or played more and didn’t. We will see what he has during the preseason. Or people will say, “Who is that Gray guy?” then move on with their lives. However, if you are watching preseason to the point where Gray is in, then you love football enough to google his name. Don’t be lazy. – CUT

    Mike Hull – Mike Hull is a player. A player who is on the Miami Dolphins. He was a UDFA last season. He made the team. I think he blocked a punt. Or Vigil blocked the punt. In fact, people got him and Vigil mixed up a lot. Proving once again that all UDFA rookie linebackers look alike – KEEP

    James-Michael Johnson – This is his 5th season in the NFL. Did you know that? Did you? Really? Don’t lie to yourself. Not like you lie to yourself every day. You know you could have done more with your life. But you are sitting here. Reading this post. Is this where you saw your life? You used to have dreams. Now you have let the world crush you down. You used to have such a fire in your eye. – CUT

    Defensive backs – I think this is the weakest position on the team. Mostly because of the unknowns. However, if the players step up it could be good. You can say that about every position. That is what is fun about the offseason. The dream. The dream that every player will live up to their full potential.

    Byron Maxwell – If he can stay healthy, blah, blah, blah. Really? Again. Sheesh. I am sick of writing that. Also, hopefully, he is also a better fit for the defense. At least all he does is cost money. Miami practically got him for free. They got a better player than they thought they were going to get if they stayed at 8. So I am fine with the trade. Hooray for hindsight being 20/20. – KEEP

    Tony Lippett – IMO he is the key to the defense. If he steps up and turns out the be a decent starter who improves as the season goes on, then Miami’s defense will be good. If all of the players who fit the, “If they do not get hurt or last season was a fluke” players work out as well. Maybe he isn’t the key to the defense. Just would be really neat if he turned out to be a good starter. I love players who switch positions and work out. Such a good story. – KEEP

    Xavien Howard – When he was drafted, I was all like, “WHAT? WHO?” Mostly because I do not study the draft as close as I did years before. I mean, really, I can just read about the player when they are drafted. Most people are wrong about players before the draft. He looks to be a boom or bust type player. Not in the sense that his career is going to boom or bust. In the way that each drive he is going to be boom or bust. He seems to make great plays and do well at defending players when they do not run deep. However, when players run deep, he can be burned. Deep passes are tough to connect and 20% is doing amazing. In college, you can get away with that. In the NFL, less so. Hopefully, he improves to be a decent player his rookie year. Maybe that should be the theme for 2016. Hopefully… - KEEP

    Bobby McCain – A player who is a favorite to play the slot. Had a rough rookie year. Maybe he can improve. Or, as I have been saying, hopefully, he will improve. Huh, maybe Miami will go 4-12 next season. So many hopes and dreams. Of course, I was sure about last season and Miami went 6-10 and I thought Sparano's first year was going to be really bad. Maybe when I lose hope, that is when Miami makes the playoffs. Maybe the universe revolves around me and my hopes and dreams directly connect to what the Dolphins do. Maybe if I go into a depression of alcohol, booze, and hookers then the Dolphins will win the Super Bowl. Only one way to find out. – KEEP

    Ifo Ekpre-Olomu – You know the drill. If he can come back from injury, Miami might have a good player on their hands. Sheesh. Why am I writing that so much? I feel like a broken record. What is wrong with my life? Why am I doing this? I mean, what is the point of living? Oh yea, beer, boobs, and bacon. How can one be sad when those exist? He was a good player in Oregon and then had a terrible injury. Was cut for some reason and Miami picked him up. Chances are you knew that. So I blatantly wasted your time. In my defense, your time is already wasted if you got this far. – KEEP

    Jordan Lucas – I think this guy could surprise. Not in the star playing surprise, more in the good role player surprise. One thing people forget is that you need good role players. Everyone wants to be the DPS, however, it is the healers that keep you alive. Able to play both safety and cornerback, while also being able to play the slot. One of that unsung hero type players who are one huge play from being over-paid. Seahawks secondary is really good because the LoB are supplemented by good role players. I think this guy has a chance to become one. Also injured his senior year. So he fits the 2016 motto. – KEEP

    Lafayette Pitts – A good athlete, who people thought he was going to be a star, but did not live up to it. I learned that from my google search. I was going to start with a Pitt from Pittsburgh joke and end with a joke about Hamilton. I do not know if I made the right decision – CUT

    Tyler Patmon
    – The thing about Tyler Patmon is that I do not know who he is. I do know that if you write his name on a dry erase board you can easily change his last name to Fatman. Which would be hilarious if I was 5 years old. Kids are jerks – CUT

    Chimdi Chekwa – I like the fact that his name makes it sounds like he is a Marvel Character. In fact, I am sure when Stan Lee first saw this guys name he first thought, “dammit, why didn’t I think of that?” Now, what would his super power be? Probably something to with skateboards. What is the deal with black villains on skateboards? Why is that a thing? I am also not saying he would be a villain because he is black. They have to create a lot more villains than superheroes. They need one about every month or so. Actually, looking at his name, the villain would probably be kind of racist, as that was just the style of the 60s comics – CUT

    Reshad Jones – A player who is better than generally given credit for. If Miami had a really good defense and made the playoffs he would be a lot more well known. Right now it is a good player on a historically amazingly mediocre team. Look it up. No team has been so mediocre for so long. What an amazing run of “meh” – KEEP

    Isa Abdul-Quddus – A player who has played well when he has had a chance, and now he is getting his chance. However, in 2015 and 2016 he did not miss time for injury. So he doesn’t fit the theme of 2016. – KEEP

    Walt Aikens – If you look up disappointment in the dictionary, you would find a definition of the word disappointment. Aikens was a disappointment last season. Honestly, looking at the other safeties I do not know if someone could overtake him. If I was a rookie free agent safety, I would beg my agent for a chance to play for Miami. Literally, beg. – KEEP

    Michael Thomas – Known for making two good plays that allowed Miami to beat the Patriots. He also made a huge mistake on a 4th down that is forgotten that allowed the Patriots to be in that position. However, since it was Miami chances are someone else would have made a huge mistake on 4th down. For some reason, the defense just doesn’t have that killer instinct. Kind of disappointing last season. - KEEP

    Shamiel Gary – He is one of those players that bounce around. He has been on 3 NFL teams and one American football team. Really? That is a thing? FXFL? I still think there is a market for a minor league in the NFL. – CUT then RESIGN then CUT then RESIGN then CUT then RESIGN...

    A.J. Hendy – Finding information about this guy isn’t easy. I had to go to three pages to find enough information to say, he was suspended once and was a good kick returner. I mean seriously. I am writing a little piece about every player on the Miami Dolphins. I do not have time to research. I have quippy remarks to think up. – CUT

    Special teams – A young group minus one person. Yes, that is it. It is special teams.
    John Denney – I think the dream of every new Miami Dolphins General Manager is to find a way to cut John Denney. John pays the most important and most invisible position in the league. One the biggest fans can name their team’s long snapper. Most people probably just think the long snapper is not a position. I know I have surprised many people by describing this job. He almost costs a million dollars. However, Denney is also an excellent special teamer. I have seen a few times on Punt Returns where he is the first guy to make the hit or the tackle. He is good at his position. Too good to replace – KEEP

    Ryan DiSalvo – The latest attempt to replace Denney. Yes they are going to say that he is there for camp reasons, but you know they is hope they want him to replace Denney - CUT

    Matt Darr – I remember last season that Omar said that Miami would lose games because of having a rookie punter and kicker. Showed him. The rest of the team played so bad that having a rookie kicker or punter didn’t even matter. In fact, Matt Darr had a pretty good rookie season. Good job proving Omar wrong Matt. – KEEP

    Andrew Franks – Sparano’s fist would have rarely pumped last season. 16 field goal attempts. I never thought I would see the day where I wish Miami went for more field goals. Or a season where Miami had over twice as many touchdowns as field goals and have that season be disappointing. In fact, I just learned that statistic right now. How was this team 6-10? – KEEP

    Marshall Koehn
    – He does have a chance to make the team. However, I am not writing about a second kicker – CUT

    There you have it. Obviously, the running back part was written before Arian Foster was signed. I could go back, however, that would be effort and take time. My goal is to always finish this as fast as possible. Results! This season is hard to get pumped. Which is probably a good thing. I can go into this season with cautious optimism. Thanks for reading my ramblings. Go Dolphins! 16-0!
     
  2. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    That was fantastic and entertaining. Love your write ups, Brett. Or Brent. I can never remember.
     
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  3. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    Number of times the word "if" appeared when assessing a player: >20
     
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  4. Dol-Fan Dupree

    Dol-Fan Dupree Tank? Who is Tank? I am Guy Incognito.

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    Thanks! It is Brett.
     
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  5. Ohio Fanatic

    Ohio Fanatic Twuaddle or bust Club Member

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    Good stuff. Luv the offseason. Luv the optimism. Life's too short to be cynical in the offseason.
     
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  6. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    Thanks Brent!
     
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  7. dirtylandry

    dirtylandry Well-Known Member

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    where is Dion Jordan?
     
  8. Dol-Fan Dupree

    Dol-Fan Dupree Tank? Who is Tank? I am Guy Incognito.

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    I forgot about him. He is not on the roster I copied.
     
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  9. patcobb

    patcobb Active Member

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    I was starting to come around and was drinking the cool aid on this being a winning team that can make some noise. I have just lost all hope reading this.
     
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  10. dirtylandry

    dirtylandry Well-Known Member

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    keep
     
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  11. dirtylandry

    dirtylandry Well-Known Member

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    KENNY STILLS won't be cut or traded. Gase is enamored by him and mentioned that Chicago tried to trade for him based on the injury to White. Stills is in a contract year and this is a showcase year. Spiderman has to prove he can stay healthy and this is another deep threat.
     
  12. Dol-Fan Dupree

    Dol-Fan Dupree Tank? Who is Tank? I am Guy Incognito.

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    Happy to have helped :)
     
  13. dirtylandry

    dirtylandry Well-Known Member

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    well for the first 4 games of the year, we have the best qb in the division. Brady is out, and who knows about Fitz. Stop the run a little better and with the skill set of the skilled players, I think3-4 more wins is not unrealistic.
     
  14. Tone_E

    Tone_E Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    Always enjoy reading your manifesto. Great work man.
     
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  15. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    Your missng pat cobbs


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  16. Dol-Fan Dupree

    Dol-Fan Dupree Tank? Who is Tank? I am Guy Incognito.

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    First thing you do when you want to trade someone is talk them up.
     
  17. dirtylandry

    dirtylandry Well-Known Member

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    Ok, so trading a player in his contract year, on a team that needs skills players to offset a shaky qb, FOR A 5TH RD PICK? The utility you get this year isn't with more? It was decisions like this when we traded Brandon Marshall, after utilizing 2 first round picks for him, that sets franchises back.
     
  18. Unlucky 13

    Unlucky 13 Team Raheem Club Member

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    Great write up. I agree that "If can can come back from injury" should be our official slogan for 2016. The team truly seems to be going after players with that MO.

    As for players, I agree that Stills is likely trade bait if Carroo looks like he can play. Its hard to give playing time to 5 WRs, and with Parker, Landry and Carroo as the top 3, and Grant there as #4, we can afford to move Stills for either a draft pick or a reserve player at another position, and hang onto Hazel or Whalen as the #5 who doesn't dress on Sundays. (does that makes him sound like a nudist? :lol:).

    I would like to have Misi as a reserve, "swing man" LB who can fill in at any of the starting spots. But we need someone who's both better and able to say healthier in the lineup. I'm hoping that will be a priority next offseason.
     
  19. dolphin25

    dolphin25 Well-Known Member

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    Is this in reference to Sporticus?
     
  20. Dol-Fan Dupree

    Dol-Fan Dupree Tank? Who is Tank? I am Guy Incognito.

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    Yes. Who are you? How do you know he exists?
     
  21. dolphin25

    dolphin25 Well-Known Member

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    I was a member of the place where he was, I forget the name of the site now (sadly gone now) I think on that site I was Dolphin. We had a lot of fun on that site!!! Sporticus was a character, but I enjoyed him. Marinomania, some others from there. The one jets fan that would often show up was a hoot.
     
  22. Dol-Fan Dupree

    Dol-Fan Dupree Tank? Who is Tank? I am Guy Incognito.

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    It was the official Miami Herald forum. Heraldtalk. It was a fun site.
     
  23. dolphin25

    dolphin25 Well-Known Member

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    yeah, that was it! I do miss it. A lot of wonderful characters on there.
     
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  24. VManis

    VManis Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    Great stuff as always. Incidentally. IIRC Marino completed the pass he tore his achilles on, so Wake has good company.
     
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  25. jdang307

    jdang307 Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    Entertaining read. I will disagree with Stills. He was spectacular in NO. Off the charts efficiency. He is that good, but for various reasons, didn't click in our offense. And maybe we can't take advantage of him, who knows, but he is good. Damn good.
     
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  26. dolphin25

    dolphin25 Well-Known Member

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    Omar says he is looking really good this year.
     
  27. jdang307

    jdang307 Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    Uh oh, damnit. Sucks for Stills. Omar is like the kiss of death. The Anti-Midas
     
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  28. Dol-Fan Dupree

    Dol-Fan Dupree Tank? Who is Tank? I am Guy Incognito.

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    See, trade him now before he has 3 drops and 1 fumble.
     
  29. Dol-Fan Dupree

    Dol-Fan Dupree Tank? Who is Tank? I am Guy Incognito.

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    Makes me excited for his first game. Marino dominated the Patriots. It would be nice if Wake dominates the Seahawks.
     
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  30. Unlucky 13

    Unlucky 13 Team Raheem Club Member

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    Their OL still looks like a weakness, so our DL dominating is the clearest path to a victory.
     
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  31. Pandarilla

    Pandarilla Purist Emeritus

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    Good stuff Dupree, thank you.
     
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  32. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    This thread did not deliver. I still had a little time left. It was not completely wasted.
     
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  33. Rickysabeast

    Rickysabeast Royale With Cheese

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    The Ulrick piece had tears in my eyes. Very good. You deserve a high five for emulating my writing style so well. Please return the time traveling Delorean to the hotel valet. Well done!
     

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