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Unsurprisingly Hungover: Week 1

Discussion in 'Miami Dolphins Forum' started by Fin D, Sep 14, 2015.

  1. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    You know how when you’re drunk and you think a lot of things that turn out to be wrong when you wake up the next morning sober? (Well, I’m guessing, as I don’t drink and never have.) So, I figured since Samphin gets Predictably Drunk before the game, we’d end up being unsurprisingly hungover after the game and learn the sober reality behind our drunk thinking. Also I’m told, it doesn’t hurt to have a bloody mary to try and smooth out that hang over.

    [​IMG]



    Drunk Thought #1:
    Our defense will stop the run!

    The Sober Reality:
    If Drunk Thought #1 was that the girl you took home was hot, then the Sober Reality is she looks like me.

    Out of 28 teams that have played in Week 1 so far, we ranked 27 in total rushing yards allowed. We allowed 161 yards for an average of 4.4 ypc.

    Buffalo on the other hand, allowed only 64 yards total. In fact, the Jets and the Pats allowed fewer yards. (Though the Pats were not significantly better and they did cheat sooooo….)

    I’m not football smart enough to figure out why our run defense dropped a tightly coiled and steaming heap of disappointment against Washington. I know Morris is a pretty good back, but……….161 yards on the ground?!?!?!?

    Honestly, had the defense stopped the run and gotten off the field, the offense would have had more time to gel and I think put up more points.

    That’s not only waking up next to a girl that looks like me, but as soon as you rolled over she blew a Doritos burp right in your face.

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    Drunk Thought #2:

    Jarvis Landry is slow.

    The Sober Reality:
    Shut. The. Front. Door.
    [video=youtube_share;_T82CfyD4yM]https://youtu.be/_T82CfyD4yM[/video]
    That’s a bad mutha…shut yo’ mouth.

    ——————————————————————————————————————————



    Drunk Thought #3:
    Bill Lazor is a genius.

    The Sober Reality:
    Since were talking about geniuses, let’s have an equation.

    DW + 4 & 1 =/= Good Idea

    Clark Kent has a solid critique (so I won't rehash it, just go to his thread) of why we were not sharks with Lazers but instead….

    [video=youtube_share;Bh7bYNAHXxw]https://youtu.be/Bh7bYNAHXxw?t=23s[/video]

    ——————————————————————————————————————————



    Drunk Thought #4:
    Tannehill is improving his pocket presence.

    The Sober Reality:
    In the past, I didn’t blame Tannehill for succumbing to the pass rush as much as others. Yes, there were times a sack was all on him, but that’s true of EVERY QB not named Marino. But yesterday? Eeessssh. It felt like he ignored the pass rush altogether this week. Like he focused on his receivers too much and didn’t even see the rush.

    (Let's put our Tannehill arguments here)

    If Drunk Thought #4 was getting wasted then eating a gas station chili dog before jumping on a carnival ride, then the sober reality is waking up in your own filth……next to girl who looks like me and she just blew a Doritos burp in your face....and then you realize, she knows where you live.

    ——————————————————————————————————————————



    A Little Hair of the Dog That Bit Ya’:
    I honestly feel like our offense is close. I know, I know, Fin D you’re crazy. It just seemed like to me, that our biggest problem (other than the things mentioned above) was that execution of plays being just a little off. I feel like passes were a pinch inaccurate and holes were a little slow to form. But there were signs, like the 2 minute drill to end the first half. The long touch pass to JC. Miller’s running in the second half. Anything and everything Landry did. I believe the bad things were more rust and first game jitters than a season long problem.
     
  2. vt_dolfan

    vt_dolfan Season Ticket Holder Club Member

    Something interesting though...

    The defense only gave up a turd in the first half.

    In the second...they were pretty ****in good.

    Did not allow one third down in second half.

    Two picks.
     
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  3. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    Very true.

    That was still a disastrous first half though and not a good look.
     
  4. brandon27

    brandon27 Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    I'm a bit confused on the Tannehill pass rush comment. I mean, a couple of those pressures/sacks we gave up to 4 man rushes. You don't expect to see pressure there, especially if that's the look Tannehill read prior to the snap. You just aren't expecting 4, to beat 5, especially that quickly. I thought our OL was terrible pass blocking, and run blocking really yesterday as well.

    I'm really hoping all that happened here is this team was simply overlooking the skins. To what/who you ask? I'm not sure to be honest, because we have the Jags next. Maybe everyone in the phins building though is/was treating these first two games as, nothing to be too alarmed for because they were bad last year. IMO, you can't consider anyone a bad team, week 1. Especially when you are on the road. You just never, ever know what you're going to get week 1.

    The part that bothers me, the skins exposed us big time yesterday, and put a lot of tape out there for everyone else as to how to take advantage of us. Kevin Coyle better step it up with his game planning and schemes. What he did yesterday, wasn't working, especially in the first half.
     
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  5. MonstBlitz

    MonstBlitz Nobody's Fart Catcher

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    Have to include Tannehill in the hangover talk. Missing a wide open Stills in the first half that would have broken the game wide open was disastrous. Not to mention the rest of the really ****ty first half performance (minus the 2 minute drive).

    The biggest hangover of all I think will be kidding ourselves that Joe Philbin can turn his head coaching career around. I want to be wrong, but I think we are going to see him get out coached and out classed by just about every coach we face this year.
     
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  6. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

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    You get the hell out of here with your optimism.
     
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  7. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    I think the oline had their moments of horrible but I think for the most part they were meh. You can win with a meh oline. (Hey look, we did!) Every line allows the pass rush to break through though, my issue was that Tanny had avenues and time to escape, but didn't because he was too busy looking downfield. I hope that was just rust.

    I agree with your defensive comments.

    As for overlooking Washington, obviously they weren't looking ahead to Jax, but I do think they took them lightly. I hope that also gets rectified.
     
  8. brandon27

    brandon27 Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    Yeah, I'm hoping Philbin has the smarts to go in there and use this terrible performance by his team as motivation to play better. The point should be, great, you won, but this isn't good enough to beat Buffalo, New York, New England. Hell, I'd even hang big signs with 161 on them in the locker room around the defensive guys, and in their meeting rooms, just as a reminder of how many rushing yards they gave up. It's a win, so yes, you take it no matter how ugly, but use that ugliness as motivation to get better.

    I hope a lot of yesterdays rust too is a result of the team struggling to really execute the offense. Much of what we saw yesterday, likely has only been seen in practice, not against a real, live NFL defense in game action. We seem to keep things pretty vanilla in the preseason, so a lot of yesterday is first time running against a live NFL defense (other than your own) I'd assume. Big assumption, I know... Wishful thinking, I hope not. lol
     
    Fin D likes this.
  9. Conuficus

    Conuficus Premium Member Luxury Box

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    Well away from here
    People didn't need tape to know we have ****ty linebackers. Seriously ****ty ones, that's a problem we can't scheme over honestly. That is our biggest weakness on the defense.
     
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  10. roy_miami

    roy_miami Well-Known Member

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    Seems like two pretty contradictory statements.

    The game (that we won by 7) would have been blown wide open had the QB hit his wide open receivers, therefore Philbin sucks...


    So if the game is a blowout does that mean Philbin is good? Winning a game in spite of "bad" QB play is not a sign of good coaching?
     
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  11. Finrunner

    Finrunner Season Ticket Holder

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    The coaching staff (and players) have spoken a lot about playing complementary football, that is, the defense and offense building off each other. Yesterday was kind of a clinic on how not to play complementary football, especially in the first half.

    As Joe Philbin is apt to do -- and after the preseason the starting D put up, who can blame him -- we deferred after winning the coin toss. Instead of going on the road and letting your offense set the tone, the defense took the field first. And instead of the presumed three-and-out, Washington ran the ball down our throats and finally kicked a FG. So, after being on the field a while, the defense needed the offense to sustain a little drive of their own. And after a seven yard opening pass, things looked good. But after two one yard runs later, the defense found themselves right back on the field. Probably bad execution over bad play calling there, but we needed to pick up a first down there.

    And that's the way it went. The offense needed to find some rhythm, but the defense couldn't get the Skins off the field (which, I'll admit, I was stunned after their 17-play drive).

    By the time the defense made a play -- Grimes INT -- the offense was out of sync and sputtered, missing the 4th and 1, and coming up empty. While some of that was play-calling, it just seemed like the offense couldn't get into rhythm.

    I agree that first-game weirdness contributed, but if Miami is to become good, both units are going to have to pick it up for the good of the other.
     
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  12. padre31

    padre31 Premium Member Luxury Box

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    Basically forced Cousins to beat us
     
  13. padre31

    padre31 Premium Member Luxury Box

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    Special Teams as well, they create big plays, create or deny field position, and score points.
     
  14. DevilFin13

    DevilFin13 Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    The sober reality is that how you win matters. No, it doesn't matter in the win/loss column. But it's indicative of how good you are and it's very likely to catch up with you as the season goes on. For instance, there's no way we beat the Patriots if we play like we did against Washington. So "A win is a win" is the drunken equivalent of saying "sex is sex", when I'm pretty sure you'd rather have sex with Kate Upton than Melissa McCarthy.
     
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  15. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    No one is saying we played good enough to be a good team yesterday though.

    The question is whether yesterday was the floor or the ceiling.

    FTR, I'd bang both. Funny chicks are hot too.
     
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  16. Colmax

    Colmax Well-Known Member

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    Very easy to read, enjoyable write-up. I appreciate the time and effort!

    Hope you have the time to keep this up every week!
     
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  17. Alex13

    Alex13 Tua Time !!! Club Member

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    well that staff has proven to be good with adjustments to start the 2nd half, if they would just get the team ready to play to start the game
     
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  18. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    Or not stay rigidly affixed to their gameplan for an entire first half when it is not working.

    You know, adjust SOONER.
     
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  19. Samphin

    Samphin Κακό σκυλί ψόφο δεν έχει

    I like it. Good job, Fin D.
     
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  20. bigbry

    bigbry Huge Member

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    Well done D.
     
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  21. Piston Honda

    Piston Honda Well-Known Member

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    The defense allowed 10 points, probably 6 if Jones doesn't trip over his shoelaces. Plus they set the offense up a yard from the red zone and erased Tannehill's blooper reel fumble with a quick three and out.

    Obviously Washington caught the DL off guard with how they ran the ball but if this is the type of performance that deserves a bunch of criticism then what does that say about how things are going to look when they start playing well?

    Initially I thought Lazor was too pass happy, after I settled down I realize Tannehill missed a couple gimmes. The 4th and 1 call was strange, though Kerrigan made a terrific play to stop what would have been an easy first down based on the play side blocking. Overall I think Lazor did a good job. Execution was the main culprit.

    I don't get the Philbin sucks stuff. Seems more like airing of of old grievances at this stage.
     
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  22. Undisputed

    Undisputed Banned

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    We need a lobster trap
     
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  23. djphinfan

    djphinfan Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    I disagree, I think you should always defer when on the road, and thats because the home crowd is in a frenzy at that time, and the communication will be more difficult because of it on that first drive..always defer, smart coaches understand it.
     
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  24. roy_miami

    roy_miami Well-Known Member

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    And for the same reason you should always defer at home too.
     
  25. djphinfan

    djphinfan Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    yup, especially if your venue provides a good home field advantage.
     

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