English? Want to get into the NFL? :)

"English? Three Lions supporter? Like what you see of the NFL but aren't sure what team to support? You need look no further than the Miami Dolphins!
"Why?" I hear you ask.
Well, with the Miami Dolphins not only do you get the exotic flavour of the NFL with the sunniest state in the USA and possibly the most exotic city in the USA, but Florida is also a state renowned for visits from British tourists allowing you to combine two in one. What's more, with the time difference between the UK and the East Coast being the lowest of any you can enjoy those early Sunday afternoon games without losing sleep!
Convinced yet? Don't worry! We're not even close to done.
Sometimes, along with the exotic you also want something familiar, a taste of home. Well, England fans, you know that perennial disappointment which always follows exuberant hope? Guess what? As a Miami Dolphins supporter you won't be disappointed! I mean....you will...and that's why you won't! The Dolphins always have talent and talent brings hope and hope brings disappointment - because the Dolphins always under perform. Not that it's all a gloom fest, though. As needed by a true England fan, being a Miami supporter will mean you'll still have opportunities to brag and boast and get in someone's face.
For example - Had you been a Miami supporter last season you could have watched this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7aiLZxLvoQ
and along with me and many others enjoyed screaming your lungs out before heading to the internet (or, if you're lucky enough, to a real life Pats fan you know) to enjoy a moment of smug satisfaction. It's actually still satisfying - suck it Pats fans, suck it long and hard!
Of course, as an England fan too much victory would be hard to handle, and that's why the Dolphins are perfect for you. Not only would you be able to enjoy those high notes of elation, but you'd be able to do so knowing that even though the Dolphins look like they're going to make the playoffs, their ability to choke won't rob you of your much needed downer.
Having said all that, though, there is one more thing that all England fans truly need, one that is an essential part of being an England fan and which makes the Dolphins the perfect fit - living in the past.
That's right, remember 1966? Still enjoy singing "Two world wars and one world cup"? As a Dolphins fan, and, I might add, ONLY as a Dolphins fan, you too can live in the past like no other because of the perfect season. 1972. As a Phins fan you need not fear living with no pride or the dread of an empty future because only one franchise can provide REAL opportunity to live in the glorious past and boast of a season with a 100% win record - the Dolphins. Trust me, by becoming a Dolphins fan you'll have plenty of opportunity to reminisce about a time and a team you don't remember, a legend you had nothing to do with, and a glory that is all but gone.
What's more, you can revel in it, and in the embarrassment of perennial under-performance, by singing along to the league's best fight song. Seriously, it's awesome, it's just almost never been true; but then, as an England supporter, isn't that's why it's perfect? All the past glory, all the tradition, all the sporting legends and no knowledge whatsoever of present day accomplishment. Isn't that what all true England fans enjoy, and all TV-only sports fans are after?
Sure, people may laugh, but you're an England fan, you know the truth - present day glory is just a facade, but history is forever - it can never be taken away. (It'll just slowly walk off by itself - and that's good because you know you can keep up!)
No, fear not England fan - you CAN enjoy the exotic, fast pace, high impact NFL, with its cutting edge technology, without feeling like an alien or a traitor to your kind. Sign up as a Dolphins Fan now and you too can be filled with hope, incredible, uncrushable, white and aqua and orange hope, and the irony of the number 13 quickly becoming that of your favourite hero. What's more, you can begin to enjoy 1972, Don Shula, Larry Csonka, Bob Griese and the proud, storied history of your Miami Dolphins all the while trying to avoid news of the latest free agency and draft disasters.
Oh, and of course, we have Dolphins!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LdhXy4TrSc
Remember - as a Fins fan, when you say Miami Dolphins - you're the only one talking super bowl!"

 

Fixed it for ya.

"Scottish? Like what you see of the NFL but aren't sure what team to support? You need look no further than the Miami Dolphins!
"Why?" I hear you ask.
Well, with the Miami Dolphins not only do you get the exotic flavour of the NFL with the sunniest state in the USA and possibly the most exotic city in the USA, but what's more, with the time difference between the UK and the East Coast being the lowest of any you can enjoy those early Sunday afternoon games without losing sleep!
Convinced yet? Don't worry! We're not even close to done.
Sometimes, along with the exotic you also want something familiar, a taste of home. Well, Scots, you know that perennial gloominess which always follows...well, never really goes away? Guess what? As a Miami Dolphins supporter you won't be disappointed! I mean....you will...and that's why you won't! The Dolphins always have talent but are always flawed somewhere and so they always under perform. Not that it's all a gloom fest, though. As needed by a true Scot, being a Miami supporter will mean you'll still have opportunities to brag and boast and have a knees up.
For example - Had you been a Miami supporter last season you could have watched this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7aiLZxLvoQ
and along with me and many others enjoyed screaming your lungs out before heading to the internet (or, if you're lucky enough, to a real life Pats fan you know) to enjoy a moment of smug satisfaction. It's actually still satisfying - suck it Pats fans, suck it long and hard!
Of course, as a Scot too much happiness would be hard to handle, and that's why the Dolphins are perfect for you. Not only would you be able to enjoy those high notes of elation, but you'd be able to do so knowing that even though the Dolphins look like they're going to make the playoffs, their ability to choke won't rob you of your much needed downer.
Having said all that, though, there is one more thing that all Scots truly need, one that is an essential part of being a Scot which makes the Dolphins the perfect fit - living in the past.
That's right, remember 1314? Still enjoy watching Braveheart? As a Dolphins fan, and, I might add, ONLY as a Dolphins fan, you too can live in the past like no other because of the perfect season. 1972. As a Phins fan you need not fear living with no pride or the dread of an empty future because only one franchise can provide REAL opportunity to live in the glorious past and boast of a season with a 100% win record - the Dolphins. Trust me, by becoming a Dolphins fan you'll have plenty of opportunity to reminisce about a time and a team you don't remember, a legend you had nothing to do with, and a glory that is all but gone.
What's more, you can revel in it, and in the embarrassment of perennial under-performance, by singing along to the league's best fight song. Seriously, it's awesome, it's just almost never been true; but then, as a Scot, isn't that's why it's perfect? All the past glory, all the tradition, all the heroic legends and inventions but no knowledge whatsoever of present day accomplishment? Isn't that what all true Scots enjoy, and all TV-only sports fans are after?
Sure, people may laugh, but you're a Scot, your men wear kilts, and what's more, you know the truth - present day glory is just a facade, but history is forever - it can never be taken away. (It'll just slowly walk off by itself - and that's good because you know you can keep up!)
No, fear not sour Scot - you CAN enjoy the exotic, fast pace, high impact NFL, with its cutting edge technology, without feeling like an alien or John de Menteith. Sign up as a Dolphins Fan now and you too can be filled with historic pride in the once uncrushable aqua and orange, and the irony of the number 13 quickly becoming that of your favourite hero. What's more, you can begin to enjoy 1972, Don Shula, Larry Csonka, Bob Griese and the proud, storied history of your Miami Dolphins all the while trying to avoid news of the latest free agency and draft disasters.
Oh, and of course, we have Dolphins!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LdhXy4TrSc
Remember - as a Fins fan, when you say Miami Dolphins - you're the only one talking super bowl!"

 

Doesn't say British because the initial post referenced the England football team which is specific to the English. The Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish have their own national sides.