How about this recipe: A dozen deviled eggs and 12 pack of Pabst blue ribbon .... talk about clearing a crowd......
I don't give 4 ****s, 2 ****s or 5 damns either cause I love brown gravy. But if i have it, then my *** becomes, "the one who knocks".
If I have soda I can play full length songs in fart minor. Luckily for the ozone layer I dont drink soda but maybe a couple of times a year
My wife points her nose up at fart humor and how "immature" it is until she watches something on TV like "Dumb and Dumber" and then laughs so hard she nearly passes out.
Still upset about that 69? Have you regained any sight? Sent from my TB12-DSL using Tapatalk 2, one handed.
Me and my brother used to play a game when we were younger that involved farting in each other's face when we slept to see if one of us would wake up.
I used to fart on my brothers pillows, bare assed. Sent from my TB12-DSL using Tapatalk 2, one handed.
Ever get caught off guard by one?? Like if you walked into a room, with say your mouth open for some reason or another and catch it bad? It is like you can taste it!! My better half did that to me the other day, hers are ALWAYS silent but deadly's, like real effing deadly.....I think when I experience one it takes a few minutes off my life each time....
Ever since the movie "shaun of the dead" and I have a silent but deadly fart.....ill apologize to the person near me.....they will be like "why, its ok." and ill look em dead in the eye and say "No....I AM sorry...." The smell will hit, they will run! Its beautiful!
My black running back roomate in college would "cup" his fart with his hand and smash me in the face with it, I almost puked once while drinking.....I can still smell it. ****ing owned me. Good stuff.
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh terrible...sports crap like that I don't miss it....we would put our fingers in our armpits for like a few minutes after practice then walk by an unsuspecting freshman or whatever and wipe our fingers across his upper lip..... Such a douchebag move... but effing hilarious!!!
I drink homebrew every night, so pretty much majority of my farts stink pretty bad. nothing makes me laugh harder than letting a silent one go in the car with my wife and girls and then hitting the window lock button. then when she screams enough, I let her roll down only her window which brings all the stink right to her. seriously, nothing is better than when you force your passenger(s) to stick their heads out the window because the air in the car is so toxic.
I just belly flopped on my bed. My girlfriend followed suit on top of me. I instantly thought of this thread and mustered a quick one up. Laughed hard for at least 30 seconds straight. That's just good ole fashion American fun.
the ole Bang and Bomb huh.....nice.... Anybody ever Oooops Poops? Setting the stage here for a minute.....2001 at ex-gf's......I ate Chinese Food for dinner, fast forward it is almost bed time, I go and watch TV in her bedroom....I have my old shorts on with a big hole in the crack region.....she is in the shower.....I am watching whatever...I try to force one out, DON'T EVER TRY TO HARD TO FORCE ONE OUT, yeah I done shi%ted liquefied thang on her Ralph Lauren down comforter.... Didnt even try to clean it, I bought a new one....she has since been married, 2 kids and lives in Bama...
Dumb question. The Fart remains funny, and an essential tool for impromptu comedy. I of course, am very good at this. My farts sound like sonic booms. In other words, my *** announces it's presence with authority.
You should try accompanying a gluten & lactose intolerant person to a pizza buffet + beers. I could be standing in Jeffrey Dahmer's basement, let one of these cheek flappers out, and a K-9 Unit would leave everything and come barking at my ***. Whenever I make it to the NFL Draft we'll grab a slice.
Dont ask me what gave me this idea but when I was like 13 I farted in a Dixie cup, dropped a cherry in it and quickly covered it in saran wrap, then ran over to my mother and asked her if the cherry smells funny. "She was like...she was like.... "Ewww I wouldn't eat those if I were you". lol I love farting in the grocery store right next to the eggs! They get blamed for it every time. You don't even have to walk away. Just stand there & listen to customers complain about them being rotten and play along with it.
I like when I fart on the tredmil and watch all the other down-wind gym-goers trying not to choke as they are literally chewing my stink, while gasping for air.
My favorite fart move? I walk up to my wife...and in a concerned and whispery voice, I ask her......"Did you hear that?" Of course..I wait for her to say "no..hear what?" I then...BOOOOOOOOOOM! Hilarity every time. Never gets old.
I like circumstantial farts: - I like cutting one when Im with a client who wont shut up. Ill try and curtail the loud ones than and see if I can just squeak it out. It moves things along nicely. - or letting one rip when youre arguing or debating with someone and it just automatically ends the argument. Its either "youre so immature" or "ughh! Dude! Thats lethal". I usually just stand there with a big grin.
Sex farts are pretty hilarious. Especially mid position change. Sent from my TB12-DSL using Tapatalk 2, one handed.
I knew you've been going to the gym. You're so swole. Sent from my TB12-DSL using Tapatalk 2, one handed.
