What rights as father?/Signing Birth certificate

You are pretty much screwed i believe. If the child was born into a married couple, legally the child has to have the name of the father, unless agreed upon. If you are not married the mother can name the child anything she wants, however if paternity is proven by a dna test you might have some standing to go in front of a court and petition to have your surname as the childs legal surname. I find it somewhat odd that the mother to be has a fully participating partner in the process and wants to deviate from fairly normal practice and tradition.

edit: as for the birth certificate, that is not leverage. Your name does not even need to be on it, even if paternity is established.

 

I know one of the reasons my wife and I got married when we did, was because if we werent married, my son would've automatically taken her last name, being her ex-husbands. There was no ****ing way that was happening. So we got hitched. It doesnt seem like you two will be saying vows anytime soon, so I'd suggest trying to be civil and discussing the best name for your child. Regardless, she has the ball in her court....so maybe start kissing some ***? lol

 

maybe it's because your last name is roots?

 

I have a similar situation but it sounds like my gf and I get along a little better than you and your baby mama.

Our compromise is pretty simple. Kid gets my last name and her last name will be the kid's middle name. No ****in' hyphen going anywhere on that birth certificate.

Maybe she would buy that? But honestly, if you guys aren't in a relationship I'm surprised she's even offering hyphenation.

 

LOL, what are you getting married now too?




I'm sorry, that was cruel.

 

Wear a condom next time.

 

Then you wouldnt have your demon spawn on the way and a burning sensation when you pee?

 

So she gets to pick the first name, plus her last name....and you get the second of two last names. Is that right?

Sucks bro. And I'm sure you'll be 'paying for the privilege' the next 18 years, assuming it's yours.

As far as I know, indeed......you're basically screwed. Because you're not married, she can name it whatever she wants.

About the birth certificate. I've heard of instances where a man was on the BC, then it was found not to be his....and he was STILL held legally responsible for child support and such.

You may want to talk to a family law attorney sooner rather than later. Many times you can get a free consultation. It sounds like you'll be needing one anyway it it's yours.

You only have one first born son. Better to have everything in order either way.

 

I second that. Don't get your legal advice on this board. Talk to a lawyer whose regular practice includes family law.

But before you lay out money to sue her, which will royally and irretrievably piss her off, go for a long run to cleanse your spirit of all anger and resentment, and consider this:

If she's Puerto Rican, calmly and respectfully tell her that the child should be named as Hispanics have named their children for many centuries: the first name, followed by the father's family's name, followed by the mother's family's name. For example, if the father's surname is Smith and the mother's surname is Sanchez, the child's name is John Smith Sanchez. That is the Hispanic tradition. Two surnames. Father's, then mother's. Tells everyone the child's complete bloodline, prevents confusion with the other John Smiths of the world, and makes the use of generational crap like "junior" or "the Third" totally unnecessary.

The idea of the mother's surname first, by the way, is a weirdness completely made up by her. Her Puerto Rican parents, if they are at all traditional (and family is EVERYTHING to Hispanics) would think it ridiculous and inappropriate. The operative word is "comemierdería," accent on the final "i" (as in: what she is proposing is a _________). Don't use the word in front of her parents, or you will lose their support. Use the tradition argument. If she is any kind of a Puerto Rican, even a tiny little bit of one, she'll at least consider it seriously. Offer a hyphenation to Anglicize it, if she must: Smith-Sanchez.

Now take a few deep breaths, go see her (at her parents' if possible) and close the deal.

 

Muck is 100 percent correct. Do not sign the both certificate beforehand....all 50 states do not want a "bastard" child. If u sign it its yours.

 

Yep, as others have said, she can name it whatever she wants. Piece of advice though, from someone who's been there, if the kid is yours then you need to file for custody.

This does a couple things: Prevents her from moving out of state, and also keeps a record of child support. You should make copies of EVERY check you give her for support. Never, I repeat, NEVER PAY HER IN CASH. And make sure you put "child support" on the memo line of the check.

The law is setup to screw unmarried dads. Filing for custody shows the courts you were serious about being a responsible parent should things ever get that far. Good luck man.

 

Oh, and as far as the name thing goes, by signing the birth certificate you are volunteering non-custodial support of the child. So yeah, get a DNA test unless you're 100% sure.

 

Just remember as a general rule, get it all in writing, get it signed and notarized. That way there is zero confusion or "I didn't agree to that"

 

It will all be explained by a lawyer, but I would say it should be something you look into, dont file for full custody, just joint custody. All that means is you have a shared legal right in regards to what the mother can and cant do, like Hardcore said...like moving the child out of state without your consent. If it does make her mad, just deal. All of this can be done without the courts however. Just go to an attorney, explain you situation and what you would like and a agreement can be drawn up. I dont know about Florida but most family law attorneys in my area give free consultations where everything could be discussed prior to them acutally representing you.

 

An attempt by you as an unmarried dad to take custody away from her will not just piss her off. It will trigger the family law equivalent of a nuclear holocaust. Don't do it unless you are absolutely convinced that she is a totally unfit parent and the child would be in danger from birth on forward unless it was separated from her. Children of tender years are almost conclusively presumed to be better off with the mother.

If you go see a family lawyer, he or she will tell you how much the child support guidelines will require you to contribute to the support of the child, based on your and her incomes and earning capacities. It is a great idea to plan for it now. And if you acknowledge the child and provide support, she will not be able to move the child out of the state without your being heard on it, whether or not you "file for custody." Your seriousness in being a father will be more than well established by stepping up to the plate with support and signing an agreement calling for shared parental responsibility


Really. See a lawyer. If you're civil and both agree, the lawyer will protect your parental rights through a simple and inexpensive agreement and save you huge amounts of heartache, alienation and money in the future. Do it for the child, so he or she can have a father.

 

See, this is the problem that gets unmarried dads into trouble. You file for custody to protect YOU. Like I said, this is for your own benefit. Speaking from experience here.

Let's say hypothetically, she wanted to move out of state tomorrow. Guess what's stopping her? Nothing. By filing for custody, you get visitation rights and she is not permitted to move.

Just because you file doesn't mean its going to cause a huge fight. If you explain to her that its only so that you have reasonable access/visitation rights to your kid, she'll understand, if she's a reasonable person. It has nothing to do with her being a fit mother.

See, the mother has certain legal rights as a parent built-in as soon as the kid is born, you don't.

The problem is, if you wait, and she moves or for whatever reason she doesn't allow you to see the kid, you're ****ed. THEN you'll have to go to court, and it could take months before its resolved. Just my advice.

 

And by the way, any good lawyer will tell you to file for full custody, even if you want joint. It shows the court that you're a responsible parent who can handle raising the child by yourself if need be.

It improves your chances of getting joint custody this way.

 

Talk to a lawyer now. Never too soon to prepare. Get an enforceable agreement now, while the mother is willing, before she changes her mind or meets someone else who wants you out of the picture.

You do not need to ask to be the primary custodial parent in order to have visitation rights or other parental rights. Those are presumed. Get your agreement drawn up, and your lawyer will be able to file a proceeding in family court that will result in a court order called a judgment. That order will result in your being recognized as the father. It will establish and protect your parental rights, including visitation, by ordering both parties to comply with your agreement. That proceeding will be uncontested if the mother continues to be agreeable. The order will contain a provision about not moving out of state without a hearing, and will be enforceable nationwide because Florida is a signatory to uniform laws providing for it. And if you later need to ask for custody, because circumstances change so that the interests of the child now require it, that door is never closed while the child is a minor.

Never litigate when you can agree. Don't listen to or rely on anyone's advice on this board, including mine. Legal advice has to come from a lawyer who represents YOU, not a lay person with an opinion, no matter how experienced or well informed. Not even from a lawyer who doesn't represent you. The only advice you should listen to is to see a family lawyer. Your own lawyer will give you advice you can rely on regarding every point raised in this thread. Your rights, and more importantly the right of your child to have you, his or her natural parent who knows to do the right thing, as his or her father are far too important to leave unestablished.

 

Nappy, why are you putting off the DNA test? Find out if you are the biological or not sooner rather than later!

Only after confirmation would all this other planning be relevant and key....

get the test done asap!

 

Ummmmmmm...Let me guess...she gave you this "info"?

She could have given the kid YOUR last name if she had wanted to regardless of her last name or she could have changed her name back to her maiden name. Either option would have sufficed.


Bro...I hate to tell you this...but you got PLAYED!!! hahahahahahaha

 

Yes, you should have some sort of agreement in regards to child support and start paying. You can find a Florida child support calculator online.

However, if you start paying BEFORE the DNA test comes back it won't matter if you aren't the father. Paying child support is an agreement to support the child and the courts will hold you to that agreement for the next 18 years. If you sign the BC and/or pay child support you may be liable for child support even if he/she isn't your kid.

 

Bro..no disrespect, but it sounds as if she has already screwed you. Believe me when I tell you this...ALL women will "screw" you when it comes to money and/or their kids...ALL.

 

Nappy, BDH is right. Everything is contingent on the child being yours.

 

My moms middle name is reyes soooooooooooooo think mexican........

 

I'd do it now. Never hurts to know your options and have a lawyer on call.

 

While I don't know about the screwed you part. It is good to protect yourself no matter how much you trust this girl. Yes, she is nice. Yes, she is faithful. But, relationships can go downhill real fast. Protect your neck. Consult a lawyer, see if you can do something to get the dna test asap. If she gets pissed at you or just meets someone new, you could end up losing big.

 

The nurse specifically told us that. (something to do with the name on the insurance card) Maybe she was wrong, maybe not, regardless, I have never been happier than to be married to the love of my life. We did it earlier than we anticipated, but waiting would've just delayed the inevitable. If you haven't seen pics of my wife, then I'd understand, but if you have....you would know, I certainly didn't get "played".

I'm lucky.

 

You're Mexican???

Wait a minute if you're Lucky, is Lucky Sick?

Lucky knocked up the love of your life?