Bold predictions for the 2011 Dolphins

Sparano returns. Dan Carpenter sets record for FG's made. Finish 8-8. Sparano mercifully not resigned

 

-Chad Henne will be traded to a NFC team

-Neither Ronnie Brown nor Ricky Williams will return

-Davone Bess is traded for draft picks

-Vern Carey is released

-Ross convinced to keep Sparano for the length of his contract

-A OC is poached from New Orleans staff

-Mike Nolan is offered a Head Coaching job, Bill Sheridan takes over as Defensive Coordinator

 

Sean Smith actually catches an interception and returns it for a TD.

Earth is then immediately swallowed by a black hole

 

If a new CBA is reached before March, Sparano will be fired and a new HC will be hired. That may happen even without a CBA, depending on whether Ross can attract a big name that will get the fans excited.
The new coach will also have personnel control and one of his first actions will be to bring in a FA QB. If at all possible, he will draft a QB in the first round as well.
Ronnie Brown will be allowed to leave, Ricky will be re-signed for another year. A FA RB will be brought in.

 

Nope, that won't happen until December 2012. Sorry Sean.

 

- If Chad Henne opens the year as the starter and starts at least 12 games we'll make the playoffs. I'll put $100 towards the site if I am wrong.

 

Dolphins win the Super Bowl in a strike shortened season led by Chad Pennington. The strike allows him to get fully healthy in time.

One can dream!

 

Cheerleaders wear glitzy thongs and the stands are packed.

 

25 sacks for Wake (sends Brady into retirement with a punishing sack)
Goldilocks hits 50 FGs and kicks a 65 yarder (record)
Marshall and Bess catch 150 passes each
Fasano emerges as top tight end
Ricky goes back to smoking weed and dishes out a 2,000 yard season.
Channing Crowder is named DPOY
Chad Henne makes Dan Marino look like Ray Lucas
Tony Sparano signs a 10 year extension and Dan Henning signs a deal that extends til his death.

 

Let me add:

Chaning Crowder, also probably gone 3.5 million for that level of play is just insane, he takes a paycut or he is replaced, he may be replaced anyway.

 

Ross builds a roller-coaster next to Sun Life, so fans can experience a whole season within 2 minutes.

 

And I'll add that Sparano will change to 5 fist pumps per field goal.

 

Jesse Ventura finds out that Stephen Ross is actually a member of the Bilderburg group and the whole Parcells hire was an Illuminati conspiracy to drive people away from South Florida so Dick Cheney can drill for oil in the Florida Keys...and Wake has like 37 sacks.

 

1. QB: Thigpen and Pennington will be released. I think we will bring in another veteran QB (Orton probably gets moved from Denver as he gets paid too much to be a backup to Tebow). I also think we will draft a QB in the third round (Devlin of Delaware or Stanzi of Iowa). I think Orton will be our starter in 2011 with Henne backing him up.

2. 1st round pick: I think we take Running Back Mark Ingram of Alabama. If Ingram is gone look for us to trade down and get back our 2nd round pick.

3. Third round pick: Best QB available: Stanzi, Devlin, Kaepernick.

 

Are you saying Crowder is to make 3.5 mil next season ? That is about 2.5 million too much for the type of player he is and the results he has had. I agree, bid him a fond farewell.

 

The realization that our stadium is the unfair advantage to the opponent, and not our fans.

OB2.

 

Letting a coach have personel control is a huge mistake. HC responsibilities are to great for any of them to really be affective. Personel is the GMs job. It needs to stay that way.

 

It's a prediction thread, not a recommendation thread. I'm telling you what I think WILL happen, not what I HOPE will happen.

 

This was cute & imaginative

 

1.Sparano is retained
2.OC from a college program or if the CBA takes to long to resolve, then David Lee is promoted.
3.Chad Pennington takes job as QB coach (maybe here, maybe not - could be in college to get real experience)
4.Nolan takes HC job with Houston if CBA is resolved soon.
5.Sparano has hard time finding Nolan's replacement, and settles for one of Parcells old buddies and drags him out of retirement.
6.Season ticket base falls to 40,000 and 6 home games are blackedout next year (Jets & Pats games are on TV)
7.Henne is named starter and throws 12 INTs in first 6 games
8.Sparano is fired after game 6
9.Ross names DC as the interim HC
10.Ross begins exploring selling the team after the end of the 2011 season

 

If this happens I will hunt you down just for putting it in the air. Just for think ill thoughts and putting a nasty hex on the team. Its like saying we will be hiring Wanstash back with Matt Millen as GM and Rick Spielman as VP.

*Once in place they trade the 1st and 2nd for troy smith

*Ronnie Brown signs with Jets and brakes single season rushing record.

*Ricky smokes doobie in memory of the early wanstash days and suspended for life.

 

We can't release Thigpen, he's a FA.

 

dolphins trade completely out of the first round, use the multiple choices exclusively on offense

 

Lou Polite rushes for 1,000 yards.

 

1. Sparano retained.
2. Josh McDaniels hired, Kyle Orton signed.
3. Chad Pennington retires and will not coach in the NFL or NCAA in 2011.
4. Ronnie Brown is resigned after being allowed to test free agency; Ricky Williams returns.
5. Miami trades down from #16 with Mark Ingram & Cam Newton on the board to rekindle a 2nd round pick.
6. Offense line oriented draft with a playmaker selected at the WR or TE position to bring a little more life to the pass game.
7. Kyle Orton starts the 2011 season for the Miami Dolphins
8. 11-5 season, wildcard selection... ousted in the 2nd round.

 

-Dolphins Bring In Kevin Kolb And Draft Christian Ponder And Keep Henne. Release Thigpen
-Draft Speed
-Kevin Kolb Becomes the Starter
-Trade Crowder For a 5th to the Broncos
-Let Go Of Ronnie Keep Ricky
-New OC
-Sean Smith Leads The League In Interceptions
-Clemons Puts Someone On IR
-We'll Have the Best CB Tandem/Secondary
-We'll Make A Run In The Playoffs

 

We will trade down so we can waste another 2nd rounder bargain shopping on mediocre QBs. Continue on in mediocrity for another 3 years.

 

Marino is kidnapped and his head is transplanted on to Henne's body. He breaks all of Favres records in 1 season and wins the Superbowl.

 

Seattle offers their first round pick for Chad Henne and Ross throws the biggest party in the history of South Beach.

 

Miami's moves the ball from their 20 yard line to the opponents 30 on the 1st drive of the season through the air. Miami settle's for a 47 yard FG after 3 consecutive wildcat plays result in "0" yards...Sparano separates shoulder doing fist pump after their 1st drive.

Sparano implements "karate kick" for Miami's 50 other FGs in 2011.

 

C'mon...how dumb do you think we are? You really expect us to believe Smith will make a pick-6?

 

Fine. I think Sparono and Ireland stay. A new OC is brought in. Ireland trades down getting a second round pick. In the 2nd or 3rd round Ireland drafts QB, T.J. Yates. Fans are upset b/c they think Yates is a second rate QB. I say Yates works out.

 

Agree 100% with you, Rocky. I don't think they find someone else to come in here and do what Chad does in the situations that this regime wants to be in: 2nd & 3rd and manageable yards. We have the best 1st down converter in the NFL at QB if we have a ground game that can gain positive yards on 1st down and/or 2nd.

That's what this regime wants--- ball control, move the chains, eat the clock, highly efficient, etc. Henne's looked like crap at times, but that's mainly been when our ground game has put us in 4 times as many 2nd & 8+ yards rather than 2nd & <6...... and in more 3rd and 8+ than 3rd and 3-7.

He's great on first down and solid in the redzone (89 QB rating in both IIRC), so if the Oline and ground game can be addressed AND they do their freaking jobs like this regime desires, then no rookie QB (outside of Luck) will come in here and convert 70% of our 2nd & <6 yard attempts (109 QB rating) or 63% or our 3rd & normals (119 QB Rating) like Henne does. Nor will Carson Palmer, Kyle Orton, Kevin Kolb, or Jason Campbell IMO.

If you have a guy who is the best in the league at something, you work on putting him in more of those situations. We've invested too much time and energy into him to ditch him in the middle of a complete offensive melt down at every level including coaching. If Henne can put in 110% in the offseason, works on all the things we know he needs improvement on, and we get a ground game going, then I see no reason why he can't become a 90 rated passer next year.

 

Woo hoo ! Lets party !

 

Ronnie is let walk. Ricky stays and becomes the "starter"/1st/2nd down back. Draft/bring in a 3rd down pass catching/speedy back. Get a seam running TE. New OC, New QB coach and Henne takes us to the playoffs.