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A question to fathers of daughters...

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Fin D, May 5, 2010.

  1. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    First, let me state, I'm not a father and don't plan to be (queue Humanity's collective sigh of relief). I am however, the godfather of a beautiful 1 year old sweetheart. The job will fall on me to protect her from boys.

    My plan: (and I'm serious BTW)

    - Start her on self defense training by age 5.
    - Have the "talk" with her by age 6. (age appropriate of course) And revisit the "talk" every year till I'm dead.
    - Monitor her wardrobe starting by age 5.
    - By age 10, I'll own a shotgun.
    - I've already begun to plan out how I'll meet any boy that'll call on her: I'll check and record their ID, set time limits, and am already working on a speech that will instill fear & dread.

    So, my question is, what am I forgetting?
     
    Boik14 likes this.
  2. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    to lighten up just a tad imo
     
  3. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    that she's not your kid? terrorize your own kids stupid.
     
  4. mor911

    mor911 pooping

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    Make sure you always mention how unfortunate it was that her last boyfriend got shot in the face by accident coincidentally the same say he mistreated her.
     
  5. Ultra

    Ultra Lazy

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    watch that scene from Bad Boys II. After that you should be set.
     
  6. Phinvader Bill

    Phinvader Bill The all new Mr. Event

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    A friend of mine had a 14 year old daughter and he was wondering how to handle the boy situation. He was really stressing about it. He knew a man who owned a pig farm/slaughterhouse. A young pig's nuts are about the size of a grown man's nuts. He went to the pig farmer, and asked for a young pig's nuts so that he could put them in a jar of alcohol. The farmer obliged. A year later, the first date came up, and when the boy came to the door, he told the kid to come in. He sat the kid down, and said that he WAS going to have her home by 10:00. The kid was just rolling his eyes, and yes sir, and not paying attention. My friend then reached onto his desk and grabs the jar with the pig nuts, held it up to the kid's face, and said "This guy had her home at 10:02." Needless to say, he brought his daughter home at 9:55.
     
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  7. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    You clearly haven't been to the mall in awhile. Parents are falling down on the job, left and right.
     
  8. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    but when you do it turn down the lights and put on some eerie music.
     
  9. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

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    Ever heard of "crossing the bridge when you get to it"?

    No, I guess you haven't.
     
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  10. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    Ever heard of a lack of planning and the "crossing the bridge when you get to it" philosophy can lead one to accidentally knocking up one's girlfriend?

    No, I guess you haven't.:shifty::tongue2:
     
  11. Pagan

    Pagan Metal & a Mustang

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    6 is a tad young for "the talk".

    I always said that had I had a daughter, when she brought over boys who wanted to date her, they'd have to meet me in my music room, where I'd be sitting in a faint light sharpening a machete while the theme music to "The Shining" played in the background.
     
  12. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    No I haven't been to the mall recently.
     
    2k5 likes this.
  13. DOLBET

    DOLBET Active Member

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    You will drive her away. I have 3 daughters and 2 of them are in teens.... I have lot of experience :)

    Just teach her to not talk to strangers and let her watch Law & Order SVU...... My girls usually have questions after each show and I try to answer them honestly but the point is to let her think.....

    I agree with you that you need to watch how she dress cuz so many girls are dressing sluttish and think its fad. It is awful that their parents allow it.... I don't allow any "sluttish" clothes and thank god my wife is with me on that one.
     
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  14. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    If I push her away so be it. As long as she ends up not being a teen mom, a whore or a stripper, my job is complete. I'd rather her hate me then have those kinds of regrets.
     
  15. Ray Finkle

    Ray Finkle Member

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    You should just show her the movie 'Taken' and tell her that that's going to happen to her if she doesn't listen to you, only she won't get saved in the end.
     
  16. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    When we watch that movie, my wife has to seat belt me to the couch.
     
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  17. Pagan

    Pagan Metal & a Mustang

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    Not smart. If she rebels against what she's being told it could make things work.

    Now you know why my wife and I chose not to have kids. It's a different world.
     
  18. ILPhinFan88

    ILPhinFan88 Premium Member Luxury Box

    I have 18yr & 6yr old daughters, if that is your plan by the time she 16 she is going to hate you. There is a middle ground
     
  19. Dolphin1184

    Dolphin1184 Member

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    My question is, if you had a son instead, and he brings home that very good looking "father's daughter", what would you do? Go for it son, you stud! ;)
     
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  20. FasanoPaisano

    FasanoPaisano Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    I tend to agree with the sentiment, but use feedback from her to guide your intensity. There is no need to risk alienating her with a barrage of overprotection if she seems to be getting it and proves herself capable of weeding through the bad element out there. Build her instincts from within so that she makes the right decisions on her own. You can't be with her to make all of her decisions for her. Intimidation will likely yield secretive behavior and avoidance, the exact opposite of what you want.
     
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  21. DOLBET

    DOLBET Active Member

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    No no no.... If you push her away, she is rebellious therefore she will do things that you dont want her to do like getting pregnant early.....

    Most important thing to do is to install the right values in her by teaching and answering her questions honestly. If you installed values in her while growing up then she will make right decisions easily.
     
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  22. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

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    After reading this thread, I'm having second thoughts about asking Fin D to be my kids godfather.
     
  23. TrueDolFan

    TrueDolFan Minion of Satan

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    As a parent of a 16 year old boy, and a 14 year old girl, I can tell you this: WHOA, man. Just WHOA.

    I'll ignore the fact that this isn't even your kid we're talking about here, and give you my 2 cents.

    -Self defense training? You want to put her in karate at a young age, that's fine, so long as her parents (and HER) are OK with it.

    -having the talk with her at age 6 is NOT appropriate. She won't even comprehend what you're telling her. "The talk" should be done around age 10 or so.

    -monitor her wardrobe at age 5? I don't know a single 5 year old that picks out their own clothes, so you'd be better served to wait until she's older.

    -why not own a shotgun now? It's never too early to scare the **** out of a small child who could potentially rape your little girl!

    -Finding out who this "boyfriend" is, and setting time limits is normal. But if you think for one second that this girl is going to want anything to do with you after you've threatened her little boyfriend, you've got a lot to learn about teenage girls. Doing that will only make her sneak around behind your back and make everything FAR WORSE. You'll never again know who she's hanging around with and what she's doing with them.

    Listen. If this girl is raised properly, you've got nothing to worry about. So stop sweating this stuff YEARS in advance, and just have faith that she will grow up and make the "right" choices.
     
  24. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    push her away but do the pushing in the other direction, so use drugs around her, sleep with strange men, in other words don't hide your normal behavior from her. Then she'll rebel into a good person.
     
  25. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    You only made this statement because its self serving for you, seeing as how you're the strangest man I know.

    :shifty:


    Inbeforethefairygodfatherjokesstart

    Lucky and I aren't gay. We met in prison and that makes it different.
     
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  26. Dolphin1184

    Dolphin1184 Member

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    Agreed.

    However, if you are already obsessing over this at the age of 1 instead of enjoying her childhood and spending time with her you are making a horrendous mistake. It is tragic that all you are obsessing about the idea of her becoming a "whore" AT AGE 1 instead of being the best godfather you can be. Do you really think that girls are these helpless temptresses that have to be suppressed or they WILL become whores? And who actually uses this kind of language about their daughters?

    Whether you like it or not, she is going to eventually be at that age where she is going to date, just like guys of the same age. All you can do is instill her with your best values and give her "the talk" at an appropriate age. Then I suppose the best thing you can do is get to know the boy, and maybe even meet the boy's family while keeping a close eye on the guy. Most likely relationships won't last anyway.

    Go ahead, alienate her and drive her away. You will see what will happen.

    Finally, do the parents actually want you to raise their child for them?
     
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  27. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    To all who say 6 is too young for the "talk":
    I'll clarify. 6-10, the "talk" will be about how no one is allowed to touch you without permission. Let her know, no matter what anyone threatens, you tell Uncle Fin D right away. That kind of thing. From 10-12, it will evolve into a discussion about the other stuff.

    To all who are pointing out this isn't my child:
    You'd have to understand the circumstances. The father is a good guy, but ill equipped for this task. He and the mom are 100% in favor of me playing bad cop, and have essentially given me free reign.
     
  28. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    I don't think I've laid out anything that's too crazy. I don't plan on locking her in her room or anything.

    I do enjoy her childhood, very much actually. I love her with all my heart, which is why I'll do everything I can to make sure she grows up as free from the ugly, as I can. However, she is going to be a heartbreaker, and I'll have my work cut out for me, which is why I'm perfecting the plan now.:up:
     
  29. HardKoreXXX

    HardKoreXXX Insensitive to the Touch

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    Sounds like you're going for the gold here.

    I guess there is no stopping you...so here is my diabolical plan:

    1) Knock your wife up, or some random broad (who you knock up is not really integral to the plan)

    2) Make sure it's a boy. (This part is KEY)

    3) Do a Middle Eastern style arranged marriage between your son and your goddaughter.

    BOOM.

    Of course, you could always clone yourself instead of having a kid...but that might be weird.
     
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  30. Section126

    Section126 We are better than you. Luxury Box

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    . Watch Heartbreak Ridge with Clint Eastwood.

    . Memorize every Clint Eastwood line.

    . Rehearse the lines.

    then repeat them to the offending party. You will be set.
     
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  31. Pagan

    Pagan Metal & a Mustang

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    I can give you one bit of advice. Show her a pic of me with my guitar. Tell her, "any boy who looks like this approaches you, RUN!" :wink2:
     
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  32. Big E

    Big E Plus sized porn star

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    Here's the problem with that. The more you talk about it the more its going to be on thier minds bud. I have two beautiful young girls man, and while I do plan on being a mean S.O.B. to all boys that come along, I know I can't stop it. All I can do is instill with them the importance of the decisions they make with the boys that are around, and the importance of putting school and thier future first.
     
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  33. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    do that with little boys also..............




    I love you....................
     
  34. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    I dunno, I'd think that would be classified as instinct and not learned behavior.:shifty:
     
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  35. Pagan

    Pagan Metal & a Mustang

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    This coming from the guy who told FinD to sleep with strange men....

    Man, then ALOT of girls in the 80's had crappy instincts. :tongue2:
     
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  36. finyank13

    finyank13 Reality Check

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    I have a six year old daughter, and I am soaking this all in.....I am just trying to get her to be a leader....sometimes I will ask her what she wants for dinner, snack, dessert, and she says, "What do you think I should have?" I never answer that question, I always let her make the choices, trying to teach her to be accountable and the choices have consquences is difficult at this age though....
     
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  37. Vendigo

    Vendigo German Gigolo Club Member

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    The simple fact that she will have you twisted around her little finger by the time she starts school.
     
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  38. Rocky Raccoon

    Rocky Raccoon Greasepaint Ghost Staff Member

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    Wow way to ruin the movie. Just because the Red Sox suck doesn't mean you can take your anger out on everyone else.
     
  39. BuckeyeKing

    BuckeyeKing Wolves DYNASTY!!!!

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    If you haven't seen it now you never will.

    Oh PS

    Princess Leia is Luke's Brother and Darth Vader is their FATHER!!!
     
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  40. bigbry

    bigbry Huge Member

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    Wait!
    Lucky is a dude?
     
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