Just wondering ? Do you get hurt and sulk about it, or do you thow it off and just ignore it ? Does it have to depend on who it is ?
Depends with the person and what its about. Normally you try and ignore it but if you take pride in something and someone throws a insult at it you can't ignore it and it eats away at you.
When I was younger, I would have fought about it, no matter who said it, or what was said. Now, I pretty much just pass it off, depending on what was said, and if it was directed at me, or at my wife and kids, etc...Sometimes my wife gets ticked off at me because I don't let too much get to me now. I guess it goes with getting older and growing up. I'm 44 years old, I can't spend my life getting upset about trivial matters.
it all depends. sometimes i love it, sometimes it pisses me off to no end. if its my girl i just shrug it off cuz i know shes just mad.
I laugh it off and make a joke of it or make a joke about them. I can't say I don't get mad because I do but I'm a happy person 99% of the time.
Its water off my back especially if its a cyber insult .I only get my dander up if anyone in my family is insulted...personally. Reason is the best way to reply to a cyber insult.Without an emotional response make a reasonable response which is irrefutable.
That's because you're s special person alen. I try to shrug it off now too. I'm to old to let other peoples problems with me get me down to much. But, I have been known to let them know how I feel. Mainly if it's about any of my family or friends. I'm a real hard nose when it comes to them.
Just remind yourself that if they don't think kindly of you, their opinion is not likely to a benefit to you and the insult is empty. Add to that the fact that your family and friends like you for who you are and the insult has even less meaning. If you let the insult control you, you have, at least for the moment, given the insulter what they needed to matter -- validation.
Funny thing is I'm a real wiseass in the real world (I know, hard to believe) and I usually hand out insults like anlgp hands out candy to cubscouts, but it's all in good fun and people know it. Now I did get reamed by a GC on a job once over a late piece of equipment and he was quite a jackass about it (loud, in front of his crew, etc) so I heard him out, let him vent, then asked him if he felt better. He said he was. I said "good, next time you want to rip someone, show some heart, I've been married twice and that didn't even faze me", with a straight face. He and his crew started laughing, and he apologized and explained he was catching **** from the Project Manager...etc. etc. but we ended up being good friends after that and have done several jobs together since then.
I make a mental note of who said what, then write it down when I get home so that I can pay them proper retribution when they least expect it. Typically when someone is down, and thinks the day can not get any worse is when I swoop in; kicks in the groin, fake pictures given to loved ones showing infidelity, bologna on a car, razor wire ankle high across a door frame, anonymous calls to their managers expressing displeasure towards how they treated me, etc.
.... well generally I just fire the person,but to my credit I've been pretty good about hiring only ***kissers...so it really hasn't been a problem...
Thanks for all the replies......I feel much better about now that I have read a lot of what you guys have said.
i have not taken "insults" serious sense middle school.....the last time i did....i turned it into my LIFE (football)....ill explain.....it was 7th grade....i got up amazing balls/nerves to ask this girl allison to the 7th grade dance....well i was chubby, and a odd lookin dude back then....(everyone is at 12) zits and everything....well i remember finally taking a deep breath and trying to be cool so i am back pedaling infront of her while shes walking forward and i ask "hey allison wanna go with me to the 7th grade dance?" she laughs with her friend and says "sorry chubbs i couldnt be seen with a monster" and walked past me standing still shaking wanting to cry my eyes out.... well literally that weekend i started running, and stretching....around 8th grade i was working out, lifting every day, and by 9th grade i was the only freshman (out of 1200 freshman) to be on the varsity football team....4 years later i am a 4 year letterman, captain sense a sophmore, and 2nd team all state, 1st team all conference...with the cpt cheerleader as my girlfriend for 3 years.....everytime i passed that ***** in the hallway i smiled at her....she knew it too....she always gave this shy little "i suck big time" grin back.... sense then, i laugh off everything and am mostly the insult disher......i have the gift of gab (hence me being on sports radio) and use it well....ive been told about 17 billion times i should be a stand up comic....or should act....but i dunno how to get into acting...and couldnt waste the money on head shots and agents....
I'll admit it--I'm not above getting insulted. The source does usually dictate the reaction, but sometimes it's just my mood. Not proud of that, but it's the truth.
Thanks SFF, I guess I have a harder time with it, because its been happening to me since I was a very little kid. My father called me by my 1st name maybe 10 times in my whole life (he passed away in 1999). I was either sh*thead, f*ckbucket or later, after I had come out, Queer or ******. My older brother listened and learned from good ol' Dad, and so on a daily basis I was made to feel inadaquate, or unworthy. I guess thats why I am more sensitive to it, and many times it never bothers me. But when its someone I thought was a friend, it really stings. Thanks everyone for being my online shrink
I guess thats what it was with me tonight. I was very surprised from the source from which it came. It hurt.
i am sorry you got hurt bro.....and im glad you could come to us and get some smiles out of it....you deserve the best bro....as does everyone on here...i hope that "source" realizes how much they hurt you....and makes ammends....i wouldnt shy away from letting the person know how it made you feel, and talk about it
I don't see it as a weakness to feel real feelings. Oftentimes when I feel offended, I reevaluate when I'm in a better state. And often being offended is warranted; other times I am being oversensitive. The reaction to it is what can be controlled, not the source, as the source probably doesn't mean a slight at all.
You know the sure fire way to make you forget something is hurting you, right? Spoiler make something else hurt worse
A couple of things bro. If it is a one time deal, you may have taken it the wrong way. If it is re-occurring then I would let a little time to pass to get your composure and then simply let the person know that it offended you, and you would appreciate it if they didn't say it again. I can tell you I have learned over the years that responses given right back right away can be the worst thing you can do, because two wrongs don't make it right. A lot of times brother people say something meaning it one way, and it is taken a whole other way.
Lord knows not many like me here but we all have feelings and our fair share of problems. We are all human beings and very much alike in many ways. We get bruised in life. It is tough. We are at a website where everyone throws stones on a daily basis but that is all in fun I'm sure but your story is very real and unfair. No one should be judged any different than the next. Sorry to hear of the treatment from family. Hang in there mate. We are who we are......
Brother Kevin, it speaks volumes about your relationship to your family here and their responses to you. Thank you for allowing those here who care about you to share a painful slice of your life and to do so without judgement. We love and support you.
Brother I was going to go to school for counseling never made it. If he is a true friend and the friendship means a lot to you, maybe while you are out getting something to eat, say you know when you said this it really hurt in a calm voice. Then perhaps explain why it did with your past brother, so your friend will know where you are coming from. Try not to let it get you down. Life is too short for frowns, keep smiling!
don't you call me trivial......... I shake it off usually. I do have a temper though so sometimes I lose it always with regrets. and sometimes, I just put their name on the list......
nothing wrong with it getting upset man. you should tell him you don't appreciate it, and if he doesn't respect that and try to hold back in the future then to hell with him..................
Lets find out how you deal with it. You are a really bad poster and you should probably leave the site. I was just kidding dont cryJk
The guy has apologised and I accepted, so it has been resolved. It was something that was building up. He is a poster on the board, and often times I have made comments and he hardly ever even acknowledges anything I contribute to the thread we post in regularly, yet will make a comment or compliment for just about everyone else that posts there. I haven't said anything until now, but tonight when he blatently ignored me and only aknowledged someone else, I was hurt. Yes it was silly, but as I said, it was something that has been going on for a while, and this was just very blatant.
I didn't realize it was an internal issue, yet now, you have validation and a resolution. That's such a rare thing. I don't know or care to know with whom your conflict was, yet it had to be a special person to resolve it. Communication is key, and I'm glad you found it. I'm happy he or she clarified, if that is what happened. For what it's worth, on here or otherwise, it's a continual conundrum. You have lots of people on here who care about you, and I hope you read this thread to heart. Take care, my friend.