No he'd bring Pesos, Federali Queso, ummm welfaro checko (?) and a copy of Lawnmower and Rider magazine.
Sorry I missed the party, there was some great...well ok, mediocre material from the JTTer's. And just for the record I like neither coked-up junkie soul singers or Christian hair metal bands...btw check your PM's Sick, the curse has arrived. with that said...HAPPY ROAST E! now let the partying commence...
HAHAHAHA!!!! *breathes* please! i've turned you down more times than enforcer has said yes to a big mac! like you would EVER have the chance to know that...i don't like losers like you and if i look like john kruk, he is one sexy bastard! i think you're about 350 lbs too much there... i'd rather be a virgin than **** griddles
What if you were drunk and he had chocolate syrup smeared all over his body? ... and I mean REAL drunk
I almost did earlier. It was funny. I get the feeling hes viewing all our threads and waiting for us to mention his name so he can rip us a new one lol
damn. i guess that's what I get for going to school to at Learning - Longwood Gardens for a year. It's good to see botany 2/3 stuck in there somewhere
glad to see we decided to go through with this roast. When I first approached sam with the roast idea I had no idea he would do two things, the first being take full and all credit for it and the second, make it unfunny. Talk about your lack of comedy, Jerry's kids are funnier then these guys. Speaking of Jerry's kids, good to see Hardkore is getting the help he needs. Good to also see he could take time off from his career on the Jerry Springer show, to not make us laugh. Sickfinfan will also be involved in this roast. Great idea there Sam. When in doubt get a guy who is not funny and makes fat anna nicole smith feel like she has something to live for.But in all honesty we should respect sick, he is the closest thing we have to a celebrity, especially after he did that stint as roseannes body double. Then there is griddles.................. aww no one gives a **** about griddles, moving on. That brings us to In_Flames. An artist, that should be funny, and a guy so stuck in the 80's, Quiet Riot thinks he needs to let it go. Heres some words of advice for you In_Flames, no one likes Wham, Reagan is dead, and stop buying Aqua net so they can finally go out of business. But anywho on to the roastee tonight.What can you say about Enforcer that hasn't been written on the truck stop walls of men's bathrooms already? I am told Enforcer has many kids from multiple women. That's right. So many in fact , that Hallmark has asked for his help with their Flavor Flav collection. Unbeknownst to Hallmark Enforcer is still a virgin. When enforcer told his church about his first child, how he was a virgin, and so was his wife, but they were having a baby, they decided to canonize them both. 12 women and 15 kids later, the church hows now realized he is just an idiot. Enforcer is also the only anglo born and raised in America to have to take english as a second language. No one has figured out what his first one is yet... Lets move on to his looks shall we, enforcer is so bad with women,he holds parties at cemeteries so he finally will have a shot. Enforcer is so ugly, leprosy actually looks like a step up for him. Enforcer is so ugly, his wife/gf/maid/whatever wrote to the FDA to get viagra recalled. Enforcer is not just ugly, but he's also not funny. Michael Richards' last standup got more laughs than Enforcer has. Enforcer is so unfunny richard pryors funeral had more laughs. Now on to who he is as a man, or lack there of. Enforcer is such a girl, the Gilmore Girls think he needs to man up. Enforcer is such a girl richard simmons thinks he needs to grow a pair. Enforcer is so feminine ru paul thinks he took it to far. Enforcer is such a ***** he avoids eye contact at star wars conventions. But enough about enforcer lets talk about me, and how I was told to write something nice about enforcer. And after a couple of hours of drinking I have finally come up with something. At least he's not griddles.
I can't believe we waited two days for that...Thanks lucky. Well, all there is left to do is introduce the ball of suck himself to the crowd and see if he can't put two sentences together for some type of rebuttal. Give it up for my friend and one of my favorite posters on the site... ENFORCERFIN33!
Wow first I want to thank Samphin for the warm reception, and for actually being upright and partially sober for a change. Seriously ,Samphin took so many pictures in Jersey so he would actually have memories of the damn trip. I've never seen someone drink 60 hrs straight, your liver must be proud. Good job on being a great role model to young Geronimo's everywhere. Griddles, wow, Griddles, I mean you're such a ****** you make the women's special Olympics look like a tryout for your bride to be. I mean who the hell doesn't know what "Pre-pay" means? What about that phrase is so confusing, Pre-pay? And seriously how can you NOT get laid in Iowa, I mean Iowa? There is nothing else to do but have sex!! Lisa Lampanelli, I am so honored to be roasted by you...wait, what do you mean your name is Sickfinfan? Sick is one of the only people I know that can brake his ankle on a rogue leaf. Good job traveling 12 hrs to watch a bunch of non football playing monkeys attempt to play. Sick has a beautiful wife and a great looking kid, I really love this guy, your my little bro. Thanks. Finsgirlie, John Kruk..whatever, I cant believe you went a whole paragraph without saving someones life, or winning an award, must be hard for you. And out of all the men to be obsessed with on an internet site you picked the one who actually likes women...sorry John. In_Flames listens to death metal, its best I left him alone. I like my dogs alive. Gish your a OSU fan, I dont have to say anymore. Unluckyluciano......so this was all your idea, that actually surprises me alot, considering you cant speak english. How did you get this idea out to Samphin? And for the last time, stop hacking onto this site on the HomeDepot employment computer and get back to work! That manure wont load itself. And last but not least HardKoreXXX. You are the kind of guy I use to beat the crap out of and pee on his school books, it pains me that I actually like you some, besides...I cant pee on my computer. Oh and when are you going to make another Buellers day off?! LOVE THAT MOVIE. Thanks again guys for completely wasting more of my time on this site then I waste myself in the JTT staring at Mandy's lip cleavage. I hate you all....
