So...lots of room for commercials. Is this thread smokin' because it crashed and burned or because the mountain is on fire. (today's Mount Asama pic))
when is sam gunna get on?!?!? im anxciously awaiting my time to post my roast..... i dont wanna boast....but my ****s awesome from coast to coast.....
Wow, whose bright idea was it to give Gish an open mic? Go home and rinse with some mouthwash to get the suck out of your mouth bro. Hopefully our next poster roaster can redeem himself. This guy makes Greg Oden look like a 10 year old boy in the face. He is also one hairy mofo. Give it up for the online wookie of thephins.com Lets her it for SICKFINFAN33!
hide your children..... Thank you for the intro…..glad to be here….hope you all enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Its good to see the people who made it…..i see my buddy Hardkore over there….that’s awesome….glad to see your girlfriend got sober enough to allow you to make it…. Seriously though, Im glad the people who invited the roasters didn’t let the fact that you have the gayest blogs I have ever seen skew they’re decision making. Good for you…. Finsgirlie is here, that’s good…..glad she got off The Mors nuts long enough to make it out…. She really laid into me during her roast…..which is not unusual….she lays into A LOT of guys…..no joke there. I could easily really take her down the ****ter but im not about to sit here and waste all my roasting time on some chick that looks like John Kruk Seriously Finsgirlie wouldn’t be the cleanest girl in the room if Amy Whinehouse was sitting next to her…. Finsgirlie created the single greatest thread ever in thephins history…..props for that…. But by creating that you also made it possible for dirt bags like lucky, hardkore, sam and myself to hang around and let off our disgusting-ness….. But that’s probably a normal thing with you right? You (the only girl) and a bunch of perverted minded guys hanging around wee hours of the night….. Seriously, you probably broke TOS somehow by creating that mess of a thread…..Griddles let us know the guidelines on that so we can follow through with……….oh sh*t…..never mind. Griddles needs to thank god for Gish…..cause if it wasn’t for him taking the brunt of the “**** talking” from us now…..he prolly woulda attempted E-Suicide at least twice by now… Besides gish, griddles is the biggest joke on our site…. your so pathetic griddles, Alen will get laid 7 years before you do… Griddles hasn’t even kissed a girl….yet he’s so pathetic….he still has 2 STD’s….how the F does that happen?!?! Now for luckys bashing, I had a lot of material made up for him….but I couldn’t bring Rosa my interpreter so it will be tough to get most of it through to him….. God damn lucky you’re a dirty MOFO….Lucky is so dirty you could contract Aid’s just by instant messaging him…. Up until tonight I figured lucky was a straight guy……then I got on stage and saw NABO in the “wives” section waving to him and blowing him kisses…..**** was nasty….. Lucky you are so gay……you make “Sulu” from star trek look like Chuck Norris…… Lucky couldn’t get inside vagina if he was a gynecologist Lucky has failed at getting *** more times then the braves in the post season during the 90’s…. Luckys sex approval rating is lower than George W’s… Luckys d**k is so small he uses tweezers to jerk off…. Now that I got them 1 liners out of the way….. Lucky is a interesting person….he seems to have a disgust of me for some reason….maybe we got off on the wrong foot? Maybe he is a just a Mexican size bag of douche?! We may never know….. But what is fact….is the only time lucky has gotten….well….lucky….is drugs….this dude has gotten laid more times because of Rufi’s then Sebastian Janikowski….. Come to think of it…that’s probably why him and Sam are so close…. REACH AROUNDS FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!! Speaking of Sam….that homo has jerked off more guys than Richard Simmons… Oh look….inflames is here (or not)….resident rocker, red sox fan and artist…..ironic….because there must be a red sox curse on his artwork….its been about 100 years and I still haven’t got my SIG from him…. I kid (he’ll ban me) Seriously Jason hurt his back….head banging will do that to you…. Maybe if you didn’t use so much damn hairspray trying to look like Dee Snyder …..Our ozone wouldn’t be as ****ty and al gore would still be irrelevant…..thanks dude Now….enough of these guys….we are supposed to be roasting our guest of honor….a good man….a great man…..a man of excellence….a man who I envy…..a man who is a great friend and fan and contributor of this site…. Sadly however….Opie couldn’t make it…..so we had to settle for Enforcer…. (This thread went from 5 to 3 stars with just that sentence) Eric and I roomed together in New York…..the guy snores like a Yeti and **** smells as if Sam’s Indian ancestors were dug up and lit on fire…..it is ridiculous… Eric is always on this site….he has more posts then anyone on the JTT Thread….and 98% of those posts aren’t worth wiping my *** with. He is a freak that stalks the ONE women that hangs around (the fact she looks like john kruk is irrelevant) Hes like that one friend you go to a club with…..group of 4…….3 of you have chicks on you….and eric is the ***-hat who is rubbing on the girls and thinking he has a chance….and ends up blowing it for all of us….then when you go to taco bell after the nights over….he blurts out “he forgot his wallet” and you have to pay for him….but he gets like 4 ****in nachos and 3 cheese burritos….and you wanna punch him in the ****in turkey neck…..then he pukes the friggin food out anyways cause hes so sloppy drunk *sigh* I think I like section126 more than I like eric………… Or rick1966……..nah…..nevermind…..f that guy….. Eric is always complaining about his wife….or girlfriend…..whatever she is….and his job….well I have some pointers… Stop being such a douche husband, and maybe your women would WANNA bang you??? Seriously you make O.J. look like husband of the decade….. And your job? Get over it….who wouldn’t want to drive a limo…..have you seen blank check?!?! That dudes the balls. Yet maybe if Indiana upgraded limo’s you would make some bank? Eric is a good dad…..no joke there….really an awesome father….he’s dedicated….here’s his list of priorities… -Food -Kids -Tom Arnold That’s commitment…. Now I need to stop there, I can’t make fun of Eric’s weight…I myself am a chubby guy…. Plus Eric is such a nice dude…..he would give you the shirt off his back IF YOU EVER NEEDED A COVER FOR YOUR POOL! All in all Eric is a great friend, a great dad, and a man who deserves a wife who gives him *** everyday…..too bad finsgirlie lives so far away….you get paid bread-crumbs Eric…..but anyone can afford that Thanks for reading this everyone…..and thanks Eric (and everyone) for being a great sport and taking this beating….im honored I met you in new york and gained such a awesome friend! Cheers! p.s. – I love you all, don’t ban me….i had to push the envelope!
I think you all need to stand in front of your computers and give sick a nice round of applause. That was great. It was even better than when I heard most of those jokes the first time by actual comedians. Great job sick. Well, how do you follow that up? In_flames looked like he was about to step on stage but he slipped on his sequined jacket and hurt his back...again. SO I suppose we can give lucky a break from trimming the hedges long enough to give this roast thing a shot. Ladies and gentlemen, the man behind this madness. From the deep recesses of his mind did this idea come. Take a bow and enjoy UNLUCKYLUCIANO!
Except the Braves actually WON a World Series. So the joke failed. Although not as many times as E... I guess it wasnt a complete failure. EDIT: The Buffalo Bills would have been the correct analogy.
my joke wasnt based on the marlins and braves...... you go to the playoffs 14 straight years.....win one world series (which is the goal) and fail 13 times.....imo thats failure..... aka....joke doesnt fail.... you lose.
Only a fan of a team in the bottom 5 of winning percentage in the last decade would consider that failure
If the slapfest between Hardkore and Sick is over, perhaps we can get backon track with UNLUCKYLUCIANO! (freaking show up you ***)
yeah me and hardkore are just keeping the crowd entertained while lucky gets his donkey riding *** to the roast.....
This might be the funniest thread I've ever read in my life. Finsgirlie, come over later. Enforcer.... you rule!
shes a freak....dont worry....she knows how to get there.....shes probably there right now watching you.......
