Alright Im off to take a shower, or as Lucky and Enforcer call it "Super Fun Bubble Slippery Soap Time"
What the hell happened? I leave the stage for five minutes to take a **** and Sick and lucky are drunkenly rolling around in the corner while Griddles sprays them with chocolate syrups and squeals like a pig. In_Flames refuses to come out on stage unless his entrance music is cued up (sorry Flames, we WILL NOT play Stryper) and Hardkore is rambling on and on into a microphone that isn't plugged in. All the while enforcer has yet to stop eating and ****ting on himself. Wild. Thanks Hardkore for your "roast." I wish you had written something new though. It was funnier when you made that speech at the local Klan meeting last month. Very well then, since this roast has finally jumpstarted (which is the first time anything associated with enforcer has jumped, unless you count the women he has bedded jumping from high rise buildings), lets see if we can't get another roastee up here shall we? Our next presenter names all of his pet rats after characters played by John Wayne, wears jeans so tight that you can see his pulse and is quite possibly, the worst person in the history of the world. Please welcome, GRIDIRONKING34!
Perhaps if you hadve washed and de-liced it first it mightve gone over better.... Ahhh but on to the Topic de jour. I remember the first time I ever met Enforcer....eerrr well never met him actually. I remember the first time I saw pictures though.... I believe he was wearing a Zach Thomas Jersey at the C2C game in New Yawk...of course I thought it was actually FininTheMoon's van and he had just painted a HUGE 54 on the side. Seriously though, enforcer is stand up kind of guy.. thats cause if he sits, it takes several people to help him up..... In all seriousness, he is one of the people I look forward to hearing from in this place. Like a true main-stay and one of the real pillars. Usually has very good insight and plays very nicely with others-cept Lucky. Glad you are one of us Enforcer, and really really hope we get to share barley pops one of these days bro. First one is on me just for putting up with me.
don't get on my **** list ace but seriously, that van joke, i knocked over my lemonade laughing so hard....
where the **** did azfinfang come from?????? this is like when that guy from "rage against the machine" climbed up on the screens at the VMA'S............
No trailers for me sweetie pie. I know you want to think everyone else in the world is just like you, but they aren't. You're a mistake.
Even worse, probably drinking INSTANT lemonaid Did it have lumps in it, like from a wet spooner street
I came from the womb. After that; delaware. I'm a guy who likes to look into your computer screens. Some of you have pretty interesting living rooms, beds and such.
dude, i said the same thing a week ago. the building idea sounds like the solution for sure. how about instead of roasting enforcer, we just make him fight anlgp to the death. how can we lose?
I'd like to thank Sam first off for putting this thing together. I guess that's why we call him Chief Samphin... And we all gotta love his tribal dancing, right? [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_k-vtCAzh3A]YouTube - Great Moments in White Boy History[/ame] Everyone is in the house... HardKore is here... Good deal... Who's that next to him? His hot girlfriend? Oh wait... He dumped her... He couldn't handle the crazy hot sex. And then there's lucky who took the time out of his schedule to visit us.. We really appreciate you swimming thousands of miles to get here... Even In_Flames is here... I asked him what he did for a living the other day. His answer? "I'm a musician... and an artist..." Translation: "I'm collecting unemployment and enjoying government cheese"... Of course we got the face of radio here, let's give a round of applause to SickFinFan33.. We gotta keep that ego of his happy! Oh, and Finsgirlie... yeah... I thought the obsession of The Mor was pretty weird... but then I realized... she has an obsession for a guy who can't tackle to save his life... So we need to give Mor credit... He's never hit a palm tree before... I've seen roasts before, I've been to roasts before, but I've never been apart of a roast before. I mean, how did we get enforcer on this whole deal? We told him roast and his eyes quickly lit up, thinking of pork and booze... Unforunately for him, it wasn't a roast of food but a roast of burns... sick burns! Speaking of burns, what the hell is up with this whole Michael Kelso Fan Club he started? I mean, seriously, it's a little obvious that you have a problem when you create a Myspace dedicated to Ashton Kutcher. Its' all good though, Big E. We know you're a good guy, we do. I'm OK with your love for Iowa (Even if that includes Tom Arnold). I mean, if it weren't for your love for the Hawkeye state, you wouldn't have came to pick up me in Gary, Indiana.... Seriously though, Gary, Indiana? I've never been in a ghetto like that before. Hell, you grew up in Pompano or some place, you're use to getting shot at... Me? Nah, not me.. I appreciate the thoughts, E... But even if you wanna meet up in the damn Murder Capitol of the US, you're never gonna be a straight up mother****in' OG! In all seriousness though about this whole New Jersey thing, if Sick really enjoys cupping Dan LaBatard's balls... what the hell happened on the Friday and Saturday night that you two shacked up? Because if that's true, I know lucky will be interested in coming on the next C2C trip... What the hell is up with E's morning posts in the JJT thread... Always about Mandy! I've heard stories about his 'stalkability' and it ain't pretty... Hell, he had to make poor Mandy close her drapes... and that, my friends, says a lot. Sure, for being a staulker, E's gotten his fair share of women... Enforcer's been around, yes he has. He's a mack daddy that doesn't believe in condoms... and that's why he has 10 checks sent out to 9 different women each month... Now, I would normally say I would respect Enforcer... until I found he's a Cubs fan. I mean, as far as I'm concerned... There's only room for one man who can claim he's both a Cubs fan and a Dolphins fan... And he's in a wheel chair... Sorry E, you just ain't making the cut! I guess I should probably take the hints and wrap this up... Something E obviously didn't do judging by the fact that he has enough kids to replace the New York Knicks roster... And probably play better than them... I'm glad to say that I've met you... Sure you're a Cubs fan... and an Indiana fan... But you're a Dolphins fan... and that's why we love you. (HardKore didn't call this, but I will... no homo)
But I will play The Stripper [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8f9EPkZz9PU]YouTube - David Rose - The Stripper[/ame]
yeah, well maybe youve had way too long to come up with a catch title, yet that little box is still empty.
Thanks to Griddles for...that. I am not sure what that was, but the last time it happened, the people in Hiroshima and Nagasaki were deformed and dang near wiped off the planet. So lets all pretend that that never happened and try to move forward shall we? I think we can all agree one a couple of things. a: Enforcerfin is one big ugly loser and b: He father smultiple children through a process he likes to call "punch and rape." It onvolves him hobbling up to a girl at a club, climbing a foot stool to look her in the eye. He then punches her in the face until she is knocked out and wakes up with his demon seed firmly implanted in her. Honestly can someone look at Enforcer and still be against abortion? The guy is a trainwreck. And speaking of trainwreck's, this next poster looks like Amtrack coming off the rails in the morning. Heck she even has the nickname of "train," FINSGIRLIE!
Yay! So enforcer, you were chosen at the first roast victim....I mean, guest. I guess it's because you're so handsome...and tall...and intelligent. Ouch, 0/3 on that one huh? It's ok, there's like 5 rosters, at least one of us should be able to find something good about you. Really, I think you should just be glad anyone around here knows your name. You rarely spell anything right, you've got a lame job, unfunny jokes, and you have an e-boyfriend who lives in Iowa. I mean really, it's kind of a surprise anyone likes you at all. And lets be serious...this so-called woman you have...it's really unluckyluciano in drag right? No one could really be that desperate besides Lucky. Great to see Lucky with us, though...must mean he found someone to take his shift today. I guess it's not too hard to find a lazy guy to stand around and sell sombreros all day. Speaking of lazy, hey Griddles! Griddles, you're life is so pathetic Enforcer looks like Hugh Hefner compared to you. In fact, after finding all those dirty pictures of you in enforcers inbox, I think you are the Pam Anderson to his Hugh Hefner...so cute. He tells me the curtains even match the drapes! You must make all those inbred Iowa women go crazy! When it comes to women, In_flames has the worst taste i've ever seen. Even Pagan has a hard time finding the kind of women In_Flames likes. I guess we can't all be pale, anorexic, vampires though huh? You must've loved The Lost Boys. Material for days! At least you found a way to curb the fact that you have no sex appeal. Enforcer hasn't found his niche yet. Look at these unfunny roasters he's got. Worst of all is Sick. Can he even stay sober for like half a second to write something down? I'll be surprised if he forms a sentence without "burp" or "puke" in it somewhere. Way to keep living the college life, Sick. It's only funny the first time around. And you'd still have to be in college. I had to leave Sam and Hardkore for last...you guys put Griddles and Enforcers internet man-love relationship to shame! Although I can't blame you Hardkore, as many times as i've turned you down, I guess you had no choice but to run to the second sexiest person on the site! Personally, I'd wait for at least the SECOND conversation before asking to cyber, but you two just dove into each other like Michael Phelps at the olympics. Cuffing yourselves together with fuzzy pink handcuffs was a little much though. Please don't call me the next time you two get stuck together using edible finger paint. If I wanted to see units that small, I would've just called enforcer. So back to the guest of...well, I was gonna say honor. Nothin too honorable about a guy who knocks up 20 different women by claiming he's Drew Carey. You must get a discount on chloroform by now... Apparently, you're also a limo driver....makes me wonder what kind of people you drive around while dressed like this.... They say a picture is worth a thousand words....apparently they never saw pictures of you. You're the reason they invented helmets for toddlers. In all seriousness, I love ya Eric. You're sweet and have a heart of gold, and I'm the only one with a heart on this panel of roasters, so take it for what it's worth. E-BFFs!
Post of the night right there, other than that joke, this thread is a bigger bust than Vernon Gholston.(hahhahha stoopid Jets)
