Samphin and Unluckyluciano present: THE PHINZEES!

sweet.....

 

so Ive got a question.......

when did pagan get rid of his jheri curl???

 

the stickiest of the icky !!!

 

or more...depending on if you have access to the judges!


P.S. I resemble that remark!

 

Agreed, and I voted for DM....but I appreciate and will glady accept this award on behalf of both of us.

oh yeah, and Pagan does not have a mullet...

 

entertaining

 

i set mine to 30 posts per page, so there is no page 5 or page 6. so does that mean i have to wait to see the next awards?

 

ok i read all the awards. i agree that DM is the Queen. Also, I can think of at least 3 others that I would have nominated over myself. Thanks though.

And Sam, I got photoshop at the end of june. [wait, no it may have been early july]

 

Then you are not a true hair band player......

 

Yeh...you would have....you would make one UGLY girl.

 

Hey he slept with Stitches man...not me...

 

...You ain't no prized pig yourself!

 

You Rolls-driving bastard. Maybe someone has footage of you crying upon your award acceptance. That would come in handy. If not I'll have to go with plan B, which is to scout the strip clubs in South Florida, follow you in and get a picture of you snorting coke of a stripper's ***. Then I'd send it to the local conservatives and lobby for your award to be taken away due to not upholding family values.

 

The sex must not have been that good because the Braves suck. I think next time we need to let Hardkorexxx live up to his name.

 

More hardware, please.

 

Best column goes to.....the Doc!

 

Had I known Lucky was gonna botch this whole thing I would've done it myself. I just figured he;s from Texas and all...

 

I think I remember seeing a certain picture of our man Sam in a dress???

 

You mean my comp wallpaper? What?

 

pfft, a conservative and 2 moderates. No liberal love. I blame the conservative media for this snub of the liberals in the pofo!

 

Sam dressed up as a girl with two other buddies at a party.

 

Accepting this Phinzee is the now deceased and universally agreed Just Damn Funniest - George Carlin.



Something I'm getting tired of in this country is all this stupid talk I have to listen to about The Phinzees. That's all you hear about anymore, The Phinzees: "Read The Phinzees, vote on The Phinzees, protect The Phinzees." You know what I say? **** The Phinzees! They're getting entirely too much attention. And I know what some of you are thinking: " Jesus, he's not going to attack The Phinzees, is he?" Yes he is! He's going to attack The Phinzees.

And I also know that all you boring single dads and working moms, who think you're such ****ing heroes, aren't gonna like this, but somebody's gotta tell you for your own good: your Phinzees are overrated and overvalued, and you've turned them into little cult objects. You have a Phinzee fetish, and it's not healthy. And don't give me all that weak ****, "Well, I love my Phinzees." **** you! Everybody loves their Phinzee; it doesn't make you special. John Wayne Gacy loved his Phinzee. Yes, he did. That's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is this constant, mindless yammering on thephins.com, this neurotic fixation that suggests that somehow everything--everything--has to revolve around the lives of The Phinzees. It's completely out of balance.

Listen, there are a couple of things about The Phinzees you have to remember. First of all, they're not all cute. In fact, if you look at 'em real close, most of them are rather unpleasant looking. And a lot of them don't smell too good either. The little ones in particular seem to have a kind of urine and sour-milk combination that I don't care for at all.

Today's Phinzees are way too soft. For one thing, there's too much emphasis on safety and safety equipment: Phinzeeproof medicine bottles, fireproof pajamas, Phinzee restraints, car seats. And helmets! Bicycle, baseball, skateboard, scooter helmets. Phinzees have to wear helmets now for everything but jerking off.

Grown-ups have taken all the fun out of being a Phinzee. What's happened is, these baby boomers, these soft, fruity baby boomers, have raised an entire generation of soft, fruity Phinzees who aren't even allowed hazardous toys, for Chrissakes! What ever happened to natural selection? Survival of the fittest? The Phinzee who swallows too many marbles doesn't grow up to have Phinzees of his own. Simple stuff. Nature knows best!

Yuppie parents who enroll their Phinzee in college before they've figured out which side of the playpen smells the worst and then fill them with Ritalin to get them in a mood they approve of, and drag them all over town in search of empty, meaningless structure: Little League, Cub Scouts, swimming, soccer, karate, piano, bagpipes, watercolors, witchcraft, glass blowing, and dildo practice. It's absurd.

They even have "play dates", for Christ sake! Playing is now done by appointment! But it's true. A lot of these striving, and parents are burning their Phinzees out on structure. I think what every Phinzee needs and ought to have every day is two hours of daydreaming. Plain old daydreaming.

Turn off the internet, the CD-ROMS, and the computer games and let them stare at a tree for a couple of hours. Every now and then they actually come up with one of their own ideas. You want to know how to help your Phinzees? Leave them the **** alone.

 

And our Canadian friend Dark Oak who can sure stir stuff up!

 

Moderate eh. Damn I need to ratchet up the rhetoric and stop being such a middle of the road debater.

 

just defend everything either mccain or obama say.................. and then you will have a home

 

Shouldn't he be in training camp for sams team.....

 

True. I defend a good bit of what Obama says. Maybe I just do it with less zest than others.

 

Hey, if moderate can apply to Section it can apply to you lol.

 

tackling dummy? not like he'd feel anything anyway...

 

he'll catch better than our recievers last year

 

well first we'll need to find another corpse to throw to him...

 

Dig em up! We got games to win!

 

road trip!!

 

Dude...I dont care what anyone says...I thought home girl was fine....

 

No, Amy Smart is fine!

 

here's enforcer fins wedding photo

 

Good luck carrying that across the threshold Enforcer....haha....





wait.....

 

shexy

 

More hardware.