Let me start by refreshing your memories... I am an avid hunter, and often take other people on hunting trips that have never hunted before. These people contact me, and I show them how, where, when,etc... Basically, I guide their hunts. I took a guy deer hunting with me one weekend,let me give you a brief description of him: He's 5'6", 230 lbs, and thinks he knows everything. All the way up to the mountains, approx 2 hours, he's telling me what a great hunter he is and what a great shot he can make. The first morning of hunting, he gets up wearing bib overalls. He tells me he has to take care of business, heads off behind the bush with toilet paper in hand. He comes back up the hill in his underwear. I asked him what had happened to his overalls, and he proceeded to tell me that he had forgotten to tuck the back of the bib overalls before he let loose with the deuce, and crapped all over the back of his overalls. The other story has a similar beginning, but this time its a dad and 2 sons, both of which are almost 40. The dad and youngest son had both hunted before, but the other son is a total city slicker. He is a PE teacher for a high school in Bakerfield, Ca. and was supposedly a tight end for the Eagles(?)at one time, but he has no common sense. Anyhow, the night before the hunt, we had steaks and corn on the cob for dinner. As we go out the next morning, the younger of the brothers has to crap. He goes off, does his business,its probably 102 degrees on this day, and comes back. We hunted all day, and that evening the older brother had to do his business. He goes to the same spot his brother had gone that morning, not knowing thats where his brother had been earlier. FYI, deer crap looks like chocolate covered raisins. I'll never forget The older brother comes walking up the hill, asking me where the deer get corn around here?He was dead serious.We were nowhere close to a corn field. He was holding his brothers turd in his hand. hope you enjoy Mike
In a tree stand before sunup sitting quiet. Two guys come along making too much noise one says he has to take a dump and he'll catch up "don't shot me" he says and breaks off and come over to MY tree. I lean forward and wait for the proper moment.. turning my receiver into my lap I cycle my 1200 and said with authority, "hey boy, what are you doing under my tree" he pulled his hand off the tree, grabbed for his britches, shat on said britches and fell all at once. I raised my voice "Git on outta here boy, right now before I shoot you for crapping under my stand" and he did.. grabbed his shotgun, pulled up his drawers and took off at a fast pace. My hunt was wrecked.. all I could do was laugh.. hell, I was laughing so hard remembering as I wrote this I had to wipe my eyes twice. Side stitches, cramping cheeks, running nose from tears.. the look on his face as he fell backwards and shat himself... every time I remembered it I had another laughing fit.
great story cnc. I would've loved to have seen the look on his face. had to be priceless! I have a cousin we call one sock cause he took off from hunting camp and forgot toilet paper. Maybe we could rename the thread to something like post your own funny stories?what do ya think?
Missed that one. Always leave 'em and don't try to flush them for God's sake! (not that that was an option on the hunting trip)
I actually have a fishing story that involves taking a poop... My dad was taking a break from the cast net off shore near Pine Island (FL) and unbenounced to us decided to drop a load in the water near the back of the boat. He didnt take notice of which way the current was running and in 'Caddyshack' fashion yells "Watch out for the dookie!" It was a great first impression he left my sisters new boyfriend who had joined us that day. My sister's face turned monkey-*** red and I laughed so hard I almost fell out of the boat. A classic moment still talked about at family get-togethers.
Ha, great... so since you had to watch out for the dookie I assume they were floaters, not sinkers.. Plop Plop Plop
another story that doesn't involve poop...I was off hunting with a buddy that had just started hunting on this particular year. He was a little intimidated by the loading and unloading of his gun and had never informed me of it. We got to my truck at sundown and were getting ready to unload the guns. I'm on one side of the truck, right by the drivers door. He's on the other side, just a little in front of the passenger door. His gun jammed and he couldn't get the last round out of the chamber. He laid the loaded gun on the seat, with the hammer back. As the gun touched the seat of my truck, it went off!! It missed me by mere inches, but blew threw my seat, the speaker box behind the seat, and blew a huge hole in the gas tank, which at the time had about 17 gallons of gas in it. We were about 20 miles from the nearest gas station, which was located at the bottom of the mountain we were on. When we stopped at the gas station and were trying to figure out how to stop the tank from leaking, he comes up with a plan he thought was great. He goes into the store, and buys a box of tampons!! He says that if it keeps women from leaking, it should work on a gas tank!!
not a chance, I feel like dumb butt for even trying it but I did. darn things swelled up like cotton water balloons. I wound up hammering a branch into the hole and slowing down the leak enough to make it from gas station to gas station. thank goodness that prices then were'nt what they are today. his butt was puckered all the way home. that was the fastest trip down I have ever made. 2 hr ride was in about 1:15
so true,thing is, he was picking the corn out and inspecting it as he was walking towards us. none of us could see what was in his hand till he was 15 or so ft away. guy must be part bloodhound though, as we were in 400,000 acres of forest and he finds the precise spot his brother did earlier, amazing!!
