My nightmare

Discussion in 'Miami Dolphins Forum' started by SICK, Jul 29, 2012.

  1. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    As most of you know, I named my only child (4 year old son) Zachary Thomas Cullen. My great grandfather was a Dolfan, my grandfather, my father and uncle, me and my brothers etc. it was an easy time growing up. I grew up in west palm Florida, live games were local, went to games, sports radio and tv centered around my beloved phins. Jerseys were everywhere in Walmart and sports authority, it was impossible to not carry on my family tradition by watching the phins and being a die hard fan.

    Fast forward to 2008. My son is born at Wellington regional hospital in south Florida. My wife and I love his name. I played middle linebacker my entire football career through college. Some say I resemble his looks. 1 minute after he came into this world the nurse said and I quote (swear to god) "look at his wide shoulders, he looks like a linebacker"

    It was perfect.

    Fast forward to 2012. We moved to Charlotte nc in early 2008, a couple of months after he was born. Now at 4 years old he has his own opinion. His own independence. I have nfl ticket. I watch the dolphins. I have jerseys. A Zachary Thomas fathead stands tall in my sons room. However, cam newtons smile dominates this city. His "superman" celebration trumps a handshake here. My son emulates it. My son gravitates to the giant panther statues that guard the gates of bank of America stadium every time we are near it. He loves the panther growl, the black, silver, powder blue colors. The silver helmet. The mean cat gracing the shiny helmet. At four years old cam newton is really superman and the panthers are all he hears outside of my home. His friends parents have a scowling cat painted on their back window of their cars, on their front license plates. His friends have panther lunch boxes and shirts. He is different. He has orange and aqua lunch boxes and shirts. He wonders why.

    So here I am looking for tickets to the dolphins and panthers preseason game for August 17th. Looking for 3 tickets. Taking my son to his first nfl game. His first ever time inside of that stadium. My wife and I state "we are rooting for the dolphins. Who are you rooting for Zachary?"

    He shoots back "the pampers" so a matter of factly that I am stunned. I say "but daddy is a dolphins fan. Dolphins are awesome!!!"

    Without even blinking he states coldly "yeah well I am rooting for the panthers, and we're going to kick your butt!!!!"

    ...............kill me. Pull the plug. I'd rather be hit by a garbage truck than hear not only my son rooting for someone else and breaking the tradition, but hearing him TALK **** TO ME ABOUT BEATING MY TEAM.

    I am stunned. I am falling backwards, stumbling, gasping for air. So I sit him down. Pull out the laptop. Google "Zachary Thomas" pictures. I show him. I show him ZT highlights. 1972 highlights. Show him Dan Marino highlights all with tears in my eyes. I grind it home to the point where I show him a picture of ZT and ask "who's that?" he answers, "Zachary Thomas"

    Awesome.

    "who's this??"

    "Dan Marino"

    Perfect.

    "what team do the play for?"

    "the dolphins"

    YES YES YES

    "so Zachary, who's your favorite team?"

    ........"the pampers"

    *gun to head. Pull trigger. BOOM*
     
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  2. GridIronKing34

    GridIronKing34 Silently Judging You

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    At least you guys can share an interest in the sport of football.

    Sorry... continue the TNT Drama special. :tongue2:
     
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  3. BlameItOnTheHenne

    BlameItOnTheHenne Taking a poop

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    I can't really fault your son.
     
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  4. Rocky Raccoon

    Rocky Raccoon Greasepaint Ghost Staff Member

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    And if David Garrard starts for us this season, then you're **** out of luck.
     
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  5. PhinsRDbest

    PhinsRDbest Transform and Transcend

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    Guess your gonna have to change his name to Cameron Newton Cullen. Could be worse you could live in New York.
     
  6. bojack72

    bojack72 Junior Member Club Member

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    If he's going to be that disrespectful just leave his *** home! JK.

    Sorry about your luck Sick, my boy is 8 and I have him completely brainwashed. He makes me very proud!
     
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  7. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin Premium Member Luxury Box Club Member

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    Eh, the Pampers can't stop doodie. :chuckle:
     
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  8. PhinsRDbest

    PhinsRDbest Transform and Transcend

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    the next dimension
    And Chris looks like you have a great first topic for the first show of the season :up:
     
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  9. PhinsRDbest

    PhinsRDbest Transform and Transcend

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    the next dimension
    Or tell him he's gonna wear Pampers until he likes the Dolphins and the only toy he's gonna play with are Barbies unless he pledge allegiance to his namesake
     
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  10. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin Premium Member Luxury Box Club Member

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    Sick wishes his wife would stop telling him to check how the Pampers look during Phins games. :shifty:
     
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  11. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

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    The New England Pampers huh? That's rough...
     
  12. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh

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    Phase 1 of my plan is complete.
     
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  13. UCF FINatic

    UCF FINatic The Miami Dolphins select

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    You need to start classical conditioning him. When he says something good about the Dolphins reward him or pat him on the head like one would a dog. If he mentions the Panthers ignore him or have him sit in a corner or something. The clock is ticking... You have now until the teenager stage to turn this around or you are screwed lol.
     
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  14. Rocky Raccoon

    Rocky Raccoon Greasepaint Ghost Staff Member

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    What's that? Staying up past 10 P.M.?
     
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  15. Nappy Roots

    Nappy Roots Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like you need to get your *** to Orlando like you talked about...
     
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  16. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    so basically you are a horrible, horrible parent. Gotcha. Sorry to hear, you didn't raise your son right.
     
  17. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    he probably just finished masterbating. Pretty sure his plan never makes it past phase one.
     
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  18. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin Premium Member Luxury Box Club Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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  19. Rocky Raccoon

    Rocky Raccoon Greasepaint Ghost Staff Member

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    I'm awaiting his sarcastic comeback, but he's probably pouring a glass of warm milk or chasing kids off his lawn.

    Ya know, old people stuff.
     
  20. djphinfan

    djphinfan Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    lol..I've been there, its like walking a tightrope, hmmm, this is serious, after all his name is Zach...Tell him that Cam newtons charges people lots of money just to sign a pieces of paper and doesn't share, and dolphin players sign pieces of paper for homeless people, lol...You must pull out all the stops to convert him..
     
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  21. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    Either way his hoverround is a little bit dirtier tonight.........
     
  22. finsincebirth

    finsincebirth Well-Known Member

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    Seems like you failed as a parent. :tongue2: Time to move back to Florida asap.
     
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  23. Ozzy

    Ozzy Premium Member Luxury Box

    In a couple of years, if this mutany continues, threaten adoption...........

























    to put him up 4 of course
     
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  24. Rocky Raccoon

    Rocky Raccoon Greasepaint Ghost Staff Member

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    May I also suggest putting him in a room alone with an actual panther?
     
  25. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    probably not a good idea. if you ask him to see what is worse, may I remind you that dolphins are the rapists of the sea.
     
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  26. Anonymous

    Anonymous Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    This is what I was thinking. Great idea.
     
  27. Rocky Raccoon

    Rocky Raccoon Greasepaint Ghost Staff Member

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    You certainly don't have to remind me buddy!
     
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  28. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    doooooooooooooooooode I forgot that dolphin pushed you face down into that kelp bed........
     
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  29. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin Premium Member Luxury Box Club Member

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    ..... or have Cam Newton try to read him a children's book. :shifty:
     
  30. Rocky Raccoon

    Rocky Raccoon Greasepaint Ghost Staff Member

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    Dude, come on. That's a bit racist.
     
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  31. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

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    Lmao I love you guys. Seriously hahahahahah.
     
  32. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    Que racisto!!!
     
  33. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin Premium Member Luxury Box Club Member

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    I didn't say he has trouble reading b/c he's black. It's b/c he has big lips. :escape2:
     
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  34. PhinsRDbest

    PhinsRDbest Transform and Transcend

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    Just check your labtops afterwards.
     
  35. Frumundah Finnatic

    Frumundah Finnatic U Mad Miami?

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    Wouldnt your nightmare be the kid rooting for the Jets?
     
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  36. Boik14

    Boik14 Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    Whats wrong with living in New York? We have the Giants. Theyre ok. Oh you mean the Jets and Bills? Only the imprisoned would root for those scumbags.

    That actually made me LOL. Gold.

    This.
     
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  37. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin Premium Member Luxury Box Club Member

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    ...... but at least Sick's son would only have to deal with him until the 2nd grade.

















    ...... when the Jets kid drops out to work in a factory or become a parent himself. :lol:
     
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  38. dolfan32323

    dolfan32323 ty xphinfanx

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    Kid sounds like he is shaping up to be a fantastic NFL fan. Talkin smack at 4 years old? Dang. Just gotta convince him to join the dark side...
     
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  39. finyank13

    finyank13 Reality Check

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    U need to stop playing around....

    Zap that infidel with a taser gun.....soon he will learn....
     
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  40. Fin-Omenal

    Fin-Omenal Initiated

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    Thee...Ohio State University
    I HAD a similar situation with my daughter Taylor's ( yes #99) mom and her dad who are both half *** Bengals fans. To this point she has held strong.

    I feel for ya bro but at that age don't underestimate the power of ice cream, and the fact that "Batman used to play for the Dolphins", if he replies ---- u dad I like Superman???? I dunno...I really don't.
     
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