10 Things in Porn That Don’t Translate to The Real World

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Pagan, Jun 24, 2010.

  1. Pagan

    Pagan Metal & a Mustang

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    Taken from Coed Magazine.

     
  2. Desides

    Desides Well-Known Member

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    11. The bodily proportions.

    12. The music.

    13. That time of the month. (Notice the numbering here.)
     
  3. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 Well-Known Member

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    anal in general...those women act like its as simple and easy as washing their hands.
     
  4. finyank13

    finyank13 Reality Check

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    Those women are my heros...up there with Marino, and McCrystal....
     
  5. NaboCane

    NaboCane Banned

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    It's 90% mental. Women "don't like it" because they've made up their minds about it beforehand, or because they've suffered some drunken neanderthal's brutish attempts and are traumatized about it now.

    Nabo: Come to my basement, sweetheart...
     
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  6. finyank13

    finyank13 Reality Check

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    Your basement has to be the epicenter of everything that is good in America.....fully equiped with long thin ropes of red meat.....

    if you go by the whole stupid middle name, name of the street thing, my porn name would be

    Raymond Dellwood

    quite possibly the best ever....
     
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  7. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 Well-Known Member

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    Edward Chuckanutt

    I kid you not.
     
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  8. finyank13

    finyank13 Reality Check

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    Come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Chuckanutt!!!

    So tired of this review....

    "Scene 2 is a spritely 2 on 1, with Edward Chuckanutt, and Ray Dellwood giving it......":lol:
     
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  9. Frumundah Finnatic

    Frumundah Finnatic U Mad Miami?

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    Beer dick has happened to me on more than one occasion, either I cant get it up or I cant put it down.
     
  10. VA_Dolfan

    VA_Dolfan New Member

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    this was funny and interesting
     
  11. Dol-Fan Dupree

    Dol-Fan Dupree Tank? Who is Tank? I am Guy Incognito.

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    The average porn scene is edited together from 3 to 8 sex occasions. The average man doesn't last 30 minutes a pop.

    Also most women do not want you to *** on their face.
     
  12. jetssuck

    jetssuck I hear Mandich's voice...

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    He was talkin about if you were with a girl..................stoooopid
     
  13. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    :sidelol:

    ummm wow :lol:

    Paul Garvey.

    It sounds kinda..

    anal gap-ish, doesn't it? :D
     
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  14. finyank13

    finyank13 Reality Check

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    this thread took such a sinster angle.....
     
  15. AbideN703

    AbideN703 Yes, I'd hit it

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    I figured as much yet almost in every clip I've seen on the 'net, that's how it ends.

    Oh and my porn name would be John Duke.
     
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  16. Pagan

    Pagan Metal & a Mustang

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    Mark Gillespie checking in...
     
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  17. Section126

    Section126 We are better than you. Luxury Box

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    Worst move you can do.....

    get the type of beer dick that makes you perform too well...as in....you can't finish....

    Expectations are a *****.
     
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  18. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=-

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    Indeed. It's a no-win.


    Don't

    [​IMG]

    and

    [​IMG]
     
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  19. Pagan

    Pagan Metal & a Mustang

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    You think that's bad? Try

    [​IMG]

    and


    [​IMG]

    :pity:
     
  20. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    soda and bone ;)

    hopefully you put that **** down man it wrecked my dad's life for a good while
     
  21. padre31

    padre31 Premium Member Luxury Box

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    I call BS, and perhaps Buffy the Co-ed is frigid.

    As for the article:

    -Women do not heat up that quickly on average, just showing up does not turn the lady friend into a toaster oven, it takes some time..to make everything go right.

    -As for the position thing, Buffy is kinda wrong again.

    -I've found most women to be as wild, if not wilder, than the porno stuff, not the public viewing episodes as very very few women are into that, but everything from spanking to err...other things...most women wish to try stuff out.

    -DDupree is right that "on my face stuff" is similar to the Acid Blood from Aliens, and if Buffy the Co-ed thinks ripping up Victoria's Secret gear is a hanging offense, she failed to mention what happens if that "in my face stuff" turn into "you got it in my hair" reactions...damn unpretty that..

    -and finally, beware the lover who wishes to "try something out on you"..believe me...it does not end well..women and men have TOTALLY different mindsets..think one should never let the catcher become the pitcher..

    -As for the whiskey hard on...like a woman it leaves you at the worst possible time...:D

    'Nuff said.
     
  22. NaboCane

    NaboCane Banned

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    Hello, baby...I am

    Lex Cream.


    Come into my basement...
     
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  23. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    You've got to be ****ing kidding me :sidelol:
     
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  24. finsincebirth

    finsincebirth Well-Known Member

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    I've never had an issue with tearing open the condom wrapper. I think I remember seeing a Seinfeld episode when I was younger about that and being nervous, however I've yet to have a problem.

    Oh also you can call me Vincent Vespasian
     
  25. Nappy Roots

    Nappy Roots Well-Known Member

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    I haven't either, but its probably because I don't use them!!!
     
  26. jetssuck

    jetssuck I hear Mandich's voice...

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    Go on...
     
  27. Frumundah Finnatic

    Frumundah Finnatic U Mad Miami?

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    Oh you mean your mom?
     
  28. Pagan

    Pagan Metal & a Mustang

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    Haven't touched it since 1989, bro. :wink2:

    But back then? Hoo boy...
     
  29. Den54

    Den54 Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    AMERICA!

    It puts the lotion on.:chuckle:
     

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