1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

*Is* there such a thing as a 'bad' B.J.?

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Bpk, Jul 31, 2014.

  1. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    You've heard the saying, 'There's no such thing as a bad B.J." But is it true?

    Have you ever had a bad BJ?
     
  2. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    We know they must exist because... Maynard.
     
  3. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

  4. bigbry

    bigbry Huge Member

    5,278
    3,071
    0
    Dec 18, 2008
    Colorado
    *Is* there such a thing as a 'bad' B.J.?

    YES, any blow job I would ever be forced to give. Guaranteed to bite the thing off
     
  5. Rocky Raccoon

    Rocky Raccoon Greasepaint Ghost Staff Member

    30,224
    36,965
    113
    Dec 2, 2007
    Jersey
    Awwww you still call it "forced"

    How cute.
     
  6. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    My friend
    Sick
    wants to know how many dollars does it take to 'force' you?
     
  7. bigbry

    bigbry Huge Member

    5,278
    3,071
    0
    Dec 18, 2008
    Colorado
    **** you guys
     
    Colorado Dolfan and Bpk like this.
  8. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    Is it more dollars than you have fingers? So... like, 7?


    [EDIT: I came back to edit this... but realized Bry will have already replied by the time I manage to do that. With FinD gone, he is posting for two now.]

    [EDIT EDIT: To my surprise (Chagrin) Bry has managed to hold off for greater than 90 seconds]
     
    McLovin and bigbry like this.
  9. bigbry

    bigbry Huge Member

    5,278
    3,071
    0
    Dec 18, 2008
    Colorado
    [​IMG]
     
  10. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    I know those aren't yours because Maynard still has your thumb lodged in his colon.

    Also, you are black.

    Those are not black.

    And if you are not black, you should be. Because that's how I already picture you.
     
  11. bigbry

    bigbry Huge Member

    5,278
    3,071
    0
    Dec 18, 2008
    Colorado
    yes
     
    McLovin and Bpk like this.
  12. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    Compliance is a flattering trait.

    I also picture you sending me your credit cards.
     
  13. bigbry

    bigbry Huge Member

    5,278
    3,071
    0
    Dec 18, 2008
    Colorado
    Blow me
     
    Bpk likes this.
  14. McLovin

    McLovin Resident Pats fan.

    9,775
    5,149
    113
    May 7, 2008
    North Cacalaka
    any BJ with a mustache would make for a pretty bad day.


    so Bry, make sure you shave before coming over for your 7 dollars.























    ......unzips
     
    NaboCane and Bpk like this.
  15. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

    72,658
    35,312
    113
    Nov 29, 2007
    Charlotte NC
    Story time:

    Was hanging out with my friend, Sean (lol this is starting good for you homos already)...he was trying to hook up with this girl Megan (aww nvm) who happened to be hanging out with her older cousin, Kristen. Now I am about 15 at this point and time, hanging out with Sean was awesome cause he always had pot, and his mom was a Palm Beach County police officer, so we pretty much "felt" like we were untouchable. We werent but at our age, we felt like it.

    Anyways, we head over to Kristens house (oh damn she has her own place) and we begin hanging out, smoking pot. Kristen has a honda civic and we drive to get beer (shes 21) and I am 15. We get drunk and high and all that **** and hang out. Well this is where things get fun. Megan and Sean bang like rabbits. Right next to us. Kristen and I are on the bed watching the Simpsons (FTW) and we are laying there laughing, smoking some cigarettes (lol those get you higher if you smoke right after pot--stupid kids).....they finish and pass the **** out. Well here I am laying on my back next to Kristen (who is fat as hell btw)....She starts rubbing my chest....(chub activated)...and then starts rubbing my stomach....she goes under my shirt and starts rubbing right where the waistline of my shorts are.....(oh **** her comes a BeeeeeeeGGGGGGG).....she goes under the waist line and starts fiddling with my pubes (hi-ho-diddle-fiddle-Flanders).....then in one swoop she has my pants down and my dick full forced into her mouth, going to town.

    Thank god I was drunk and high, or else I would've shot off like a musket line during the revolutionary war.

    Heres where the "bad bj" comes into play. I have to piss. Like ****ing crazy. Only being 15 I didn't drink often, and knew it was a sin to "break the seal"....so I am pent up with a bladder of yellow gold....but this BeeeeeeGGG feels too good.....Eff it, Ill hold it and enjoy some more, try to finish.

    Well she's getting worked up at this point, and IMO getting flustered that I havent shot my boyish load yet. (remember I am 15 shes 21)....So she starts working with her hand on my stomach and really getting after the balls, the taint and everything....(holy **** this is awesome)....I wanna burst so bad, but I have to piss. Finally my physical body can't take it anymore and tell her, in a sluur "I have to pee...time outttt"

    I jump up and run to the bathroom, she yells for me to hurry.....Ill never forget this....

    I run into the bathroom, jumping over both the naked bodies of my friend and his sex sleeping bag....My rock hard ***** casting a shadow that'd make any thimble proud! I get to the bathroom and lift this furry blue toilet seat cover up and try to piss.....

    HNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

    nothing......


    *hand against the wall*

    EEEEEEEEEHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG


    nothing..... (WTF).....


    *both hands against the wall*


    UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    POP!!!!!!

    Oh ****.....wtf happened?!?!?

    I go back into the bed, shes passed out, I fall asleep blue balled....

    Turns out I hemorrhaged my intestine and got a good old fashioned hernia from pushing so hard. Yup a ruptured hernia. Had surgery the next week. Blue balled like a mofo too.

    Never saw Pedo-Kristen again.
     
    ToddPhin, Paul 13, djphinfan and 8 others like this.
  16. bigbry

    bigbry Huge Member

    5,278
    3,071
    0
    Dec 18, 2008
    Colorado
    I'll PM my Paypal info to you. Send it now and I'll see you tomorrow.
     
    Bpk likes this.
  17. McLovin

    McLovin Resident Pats fan.

    9,775
    5,149
    113
    May 7, 2008
    North Cacalaka
    No pm's.

    I want the world to know
     
    Bpk likes this.
  18. McLovin

    McLovin Resident Pats fan.

    9,775
    5,149
    113
    May 7, 2008
    North Cacalaka
    a hand shake with the governor?




    you just haven't had the right BJ. bry will help you out for 7 bucks.
     
    cuchulainn, SICK and Bpk like this.
  19. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin Premium Member Luxury Box Club Member

    42,442
    24,982
    113
    Jul 6, 2012
    NC
    so you're saying all Greek woman are a no go?
     
  20. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin Premium Member Luxury Box Club Member

    42,442
    24,982
    113
    Jul 6, 2012
    NC
    Any toothy BJ gets stamped Return to Sender. So uncomfortable.... but at the same time she's not talking, so what do you do?
     
    cuchulainn, NaboCane and bigbry like this.
  21. McLovin

    McLovin Resident Pats fan.

    9,775
    5,149
    113
    May 7, 2008
    North Cacalaka
    Wait. You have a mustache?
     
    cuchulainn likes this.
  22. bigbry

    bigbry Huge Member

    5,278
    3,071
    0
    Dec 18, 2008
    Colorado
    No "pay-after" BS either. Money up front!......so to speak
     
    Bpk likes this.
  23. NaboCane

    NaboCane Banned

    31,949
    11,899
    0
    Nov 24, 2007
    Yes, there is such a thing.

    I'm banging this chick a couple years ago, I've already spooged twice and I'm starting to push rope because I'm losing interest. Chick pushes me down on my back and puts the girth in her mouth. I'm at full chub again and digging it, then I start getting weird sensations. I was kind of soused so I didn't notice until it was too late that she was using so much teeth that I was bleeding.

    You know how long it takes your dick to heal from that?

    Bad BJ story #1.
     
    SICK and Bpk like this.
  24. bigbry

    bigbry Huge Member

    5,278
    3,071
    0
    Dec 18, 2008
    Colorado
    Watch out McLovin, Nabo is about to tell story #2 which always leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
     
  25. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    Before we get to #2... I'm curious, how many "Bad BJ Stories" are there?

    Maybe we can pitch HBO.
     
    NaboCane likes this.
  26. bigbry

    bigbry Huge Member

    5,278
    3,071
    0
    Dec 18, 2008
    Colorado
    Title ideas:

    Bad to the Bone
     
  27. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    With narration over bad re-enactments. And someone mocking up the ripping meat and slurpy foley sounds. CSI-style BJ visualizations.
     
  28. Bpk

    Bpk Premium Member Luxury Box

    "That's when I first noticed it hooked sharply in the middle of the shaft and a had tip with a big barb at the end."
    - Talking Shadowhead
     
  29. NaboCane

    NaboCane Banned

    31,949
    11,899
    0
    Nov 24, 2007
    I bow to the master.
     
    bigbry likes this.
  30. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

    53,333
    23,006
    0
    Dec 7, 2007
    I was bleeding from my cack but I didn't notice at first. And that's where it became a nabo sort of story.
     
    McLovin and Bpk like this.
  31. SICK

    SICK Lounge Moderator

    72,658
    35,312
    113
    Nov 29, 2007
    Charlotte NC
    [​IMG]
     
    Bpk and bigbry like this.
  32. McLovin

    McLovin Resident Pats fan.

    9,775
    5,149
    113
    May 7, 2008
    North Cacalaka
    you bow to lots of people.

    ghey.
     
  33. CashInFist

    CashInFist Well-Known Member

    10,069
    2,624
    113
    Nov 30, 2007
    West Virginia


    I built a callous just under the hood of my dick from having sex with my girlfriend. That was a first even for me. Lol

    And yes, there are bad BJ's. Scraping of the teeth comes to mind first and foremost. That hurts! Lol
     
  34. djphinfan

    djphinfan Season Ticket Holder Club Member

    111,650
    67,541
    113
    Dec 20, 2007
    Just to be clear, Are we talking about from guys are girls?
     
  35. McLovin

    McLovin Resident Pats fan.

    9,775
    5,149
    113
    May 7, 2008
    North Cacalaka
    we've all had sex with your sister. there is no need to remind us.
     
    ToddPhin likes this.
  36. CashInFist

    CashInFist Well-Known Member

    10,069
    2,624
    113
    Nov 30, 2007
    West Virginia
    I'm an only child Princess. Lol
     
  37. bigbry

    bigbry Huge Member

    5,278
    3,071
    0
    Dec 18, 2008
    Colorado
    Let us examine this post.

    This does not sound like CiF.

    "Having sex with my girlfriend" no no NO! CiF says banging my girl

    There are bad BJ's. again NO! CiF would never complain about any BJ

    Scraping of the teeth that's what a dental hygienist says
     
    CashInFist and Bpk like this.
  38. bigbry

    bigbry Huge Member

    5,278
    3,071
    0
    Dec 18, 2008
    Colorado
    You are the tell'r of the story....just let it out.
     
    Bpk likes this.
  39. McLovin

    McLovin Resident Pats fan.

    9,775
    5,149
    113
    May 7, 2008
    North Cacalaka
    allegedly.
     
    ToddPhin likes this.
  40. ToddPhin

    ToddPhin Premium Member Luxury Box Club Member

    42,442
    24,982
    113
    Jul 6, 2012
    NC
    yes yes, a callous.
    callous, herpes... tomato, tamato
     
    Ohio Fanatic likes this.

Share This Page