You've heard the saying, 'There's no such thing as a bad B.J." But is it true? Have you ever had a bad BJ?
*Is* there such a thing as a 'bad' B.J.? YES, any blow job I would ever be forced to give. Guaranteed to bite the thing off
Is it more dollars than you have fingers? So... like, 7? [EDIT: I came back to edit this... but realized Bry will have already replied by the time I manage to do that. With FinD gone, he is posting for two now.] [EDIT EDIT: To my surprise (Chagrin) Bry has managed to hold off for greater than 90 seconds]
I know those aren't yours because Maynard still has your thumb lodged in his colon. Also, you are black. Those are not black. And if you are not black, you should be. Because that's how I already picture you.
any BJ with a mustache would make for a pretty bad day. so Bry, make sure you shave before coming over for your 7 dollars. ......unzips
Story time: Was hanging out with my friend, Sean (lol this is starting good for you homos already)...he was trying to hook up with this girl Megan (aww nvm) who happened to be hanging out with her older cousin, Kristen. Now I am about 15 at this point and time, hanging out with Sean was awesome cause he always had pot, and his mom was a Palm Beach County police officer, so we pretty much "felt" like we were untouchable. We werent but at our age, we felt like it. Anyways, we head over to Kristens house (oh damn she has her own place) and we begin hanging out, smoking pot. Kristen has a honda civic and we drive to get beer (shes 21) and I am 15. We get drunk and high and all that **** and hang out. Well this is where things get fun. Megan and Sean bang like rabbits. Right next to us. Kristen and I are on the bed watching the Simpsons (FTW) and we are laying there laughing, smoking some cigarettes (lol those get you higher if you smoke right after pot--stupid kids).....they finish and pass the **** out. Well here I am laying on my back next to Kristen (who is fat as hell btw)....She starts rubbing my chest....(chub activated)...and then starts rubbing my stomach....she goes under my shirt and starts rubbing right where the waistline of my shorts are.....(oh **** her comes a BeeeeeeeGGGGGGG).....she goes under the waist line and starts fiddling with my pubes (hi-ho-diddle-fiddle-Flanders).....then in one swoop she has my pants down and my dick full forced into her mouth, going to town. Thank god I was drunk and high, or else I would've shot off like a musket line during the revolutionary war. Heres where the "bad bj" comes into play. I have to piss. Like ****ing crazy. Only being 15 I didn't drink often, and knew it was a sin to "break the seal"....so I am pent up with a bladder of yellow gold....but this BeeeeeeGGG feels too good.....Eff it, Ill hold it and enjoy some more, try to finish. Well she's getting worked up at this point, and IMO getting flustered that I havent shot my boyish load yet. (remember I am 15 shes 21)....So she starts working with her hand on my stomach and really getting after the balls, the taint and everything....(holy **** this is awesome)....I wanna burst so bad, but I have to piss. Finally my physical body can't take it anymore and tell her, in a sluur "I have to pee...time outttt" I jump up and run to the bathroom, she yells for me to hurry.....Ill never forget this.... I run into the bathroom, jumping over both the naked bodies of my friend and his sex sleeping bag....My rock hard ***** casting a shadow that'd make any thimble proud! I get to the bathroom and lift this furry blue toilet seat cover up and try to piss..... HNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG nothing...... *hand against the wall* EEEEEEEEEHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG nothing..... (WTF)..... *both hands against the wall* UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH POP!!!!!! Oh ****.....wtf happened?!?!? I go back into the bed, shes passed out, I fall asleep blue balled.... Turns out I hemorrhaged my intestine and got a good old fashioned hernia from pushing so hard. Yup a ruptured hernia. Had surgery the next week. Blue balled like a mofo too. Never saw Pedo-Kristen again.
a hand shake with the governor? you just haven't had the right BJ. bry will help you out for 7 bucks.
Any toothy BJ gets stamped Return to Sender. So uncomfortable.... but at the same time she's not talking, so what do you do?
Yes, there is such a thing. I'm banging this chick a couple years ago, I've already spooged twice and I'm starting to push rope because I'm losing interest. Chick pushes me down on my back and puts the girth in her mouth. I'm at full chub again and digging it, then I start getting weird sensations. I was kind of soused so I didn't notice until it was too late that she was using so much teeth that I was bleeding. You know how long it takes your dick to heal from that? Bad BJ story #1.
With narration over bad re-enactments. And someone mocking up the ripping meat and slurpy foley sounds. CSI-style BJ visualizations.
"That's when I first noticed it hooked sharply in the middle of the shaft and a had tip with a big barb at the end." - Talking Shadowhead
I was bleeding from my cack but I didn't notice at first. And that's where it became a nabo sort of story.
I built a callous just under the hood of my dick from having sex with my girlfriend. That was a first even for me. Lol And yes, there are bad BJ's. Scraping of the teeth comes to mind first and foremost. That hurts! Lol
Let us examine this post. This does not sound like CiF. "Having sex with my girlfriend" no no NO! CiF says banging my girl There are bad BJ's. again NO! CiF would never complain about any BJ Scraping of the teeth that's what a dental hygienist says