I am looking for people who have either ended a marriage with kids and gone on to a second one or have chosen not to end a marriage with kids for some sound advice. Please PM me and I'll give you the particulars.
I haven't done any of those. But I still have sound advice. Regardless of what you decide it's almost always cheaper to keep her.
As someone that's been down this road I recommend you proceed. Remember, people do not change. If there has been an ongoing pattern of irrational behavior, selfishness and other outside the norm behaviors I recommend you cut the cord and move on, even if it costs you money. No amount of money can substitute for a healthy emotional state.
Man, you guys know how to make a guy smile. I gotta tell you it's quite a tale I have, but there's not going to be any offing anybody or any keeping somebody because it's cheaper.
Use that grey matter between your ears, with the kids health and long term happiness (as well as your own), as your goal. You'll be kidding yourself if you think they don't know, feel, or are effected by what is happening in your home. Best of luck. PM if I can help.
If you want to end a marriage, then you should. Staying married when you don't want to only ensures 2 people will be miserable. That number grows if you have children. When you do divorce, make sure you constantly reinforce to the kids the divorce is not their fault. Never bad mouth her in front of the kids. Don't use the kids to get back at her. Keep things as amicable as possible. Do all of that for your kids well being.
blame it all on FinD. Just keep saying. "Look kids, its not your fault. If FinD were here he would tell you it was his. I hate to blame it on FinD, but I will because it really is FinD's fault."
Ahh! Divorce...the screwing you get for the screwing you got. My best marriage ádvice is don't. Just make sure to fight for what's real and irreplaceable. Not all the stuff.
By the way, just as an update, the situation I thought I was in was not remotely the situation I was in. Sometimes getting your head screwed up is just that easy to do.
Oh my things just got real. The one I love so much I'd leave is very possibly ready to commit. She and I have history and I've always felt there was unfinished business. So has she. It has felt like a question of timing but guys I think the time is now.
Just from personal observation of others close to me: leaving a woman with kids to go with another woman is guaranteed to make her demonize you to the kids. She doesn't even have to do it purposely. All she has to do is suffer visibly because you left. Think it through carefully.